Recently my fiance asked for my father's blessing and my father said no. This really hurt and pissed off me and my fiance, although he is my father I don't think I want him there because he does not approve. Everyone else on both sides of our families are happy we are getting married.
I have thought about asking my grandfather or my mom and step-dad. Any insite???
2007-09-27 14:47:41 · 31 answers · asked by darkferrie 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
He said no because my dad believes his religion is the only religion and we are going to hell if we don't believe it too and also that my fiance does not provide enough money for our family, however my fiance and I have enough money for what we need it for. I happen to make more then my fiance which my dad doesn't like because "the man is supposed to be the head of the household" We don't have a problem with our money status and are very happy with our life together.
2007-09-27 15:06:22 · update #1
My dad doesn't know that i know my fiance asked and what my dad said, so his is acting like everything is fine and doesn't bring up any of the issues why he doesn't approve.
2007-09-27 15:09:16 · update #2
Choose who ever you want, and if he says something about it you can say since you didn't approve I didn't want you to feel uncomfortable but I would like you there.
2007-09-27 14:51:43 · answer #1 · answered by Granny 1 7 · 4⤊ 1⤋
No father refuses to give approval if he feels his baby girl is ready to be married in either age or maturity. No father refuses approval if he feels the young man is of good character and can support his baby girl. No father refuses approval if he feels there is no reason to suspect that his baby girl will be mistreated in any way. Maybe you should calmly speak to your dad and ask him to be honest with you and express his reasons for preferring that you don't marry this guy. Maybe he said he wanted you to wait a while. Maybe he knows something that you don't know.Maybe he wants you to explain to him exactly why you want to get married at this time. You have a stepfather so it is obvious that your parents' marriage ended in divorce. Been there. done that. Believe me, anyone who has gone through a divorce wants to save their child from the pain and heartbreak. Give your dad a break and talk this through. I hope you can resolve this without hard feelings. If you do go ahead with the wedding, though, don't be surprised if dad caves in at the last minute. You'll always be his little girl so don't make any definite commitments for a replacement for him. And tell your fiance to cool his jets. You added a note that your father doesn;t know that you know, etc. This is playing games, not acting like an adult. Get everything out in the open and tell your fiance that this is FAMILY and this is no time to start secrets. This is not the time for him to get upset with his father-in-law. Let cooler heads prevail and show maturity above all. Good luck.
2007-09-27 22:11:53 · answer #2 · answered by Wifeforlife 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
If he truly believes hell is a real place and you'll be going there if you marry him -- in a way I can understand where he's coming from. While this situation is very hurtful, he's only looking out for your best interest. Your father spent his life doing what he felt needed to be done to love you, raise you and protect you. Denying your fiancee was not done with a malicious intent. Despite your father's religious beliefs and objections, he should still walk you down the aisle. You never know how things will be in the future. He may soften and open up towards your fiancee as the wedding planning continues. Forgive your father and talk to him about it. Regardless of what he thinks, you will get married. Do your best to agree to disagree.
2007-09-28 15:27:44 · answer #3 · answered by Jasmine808 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a very sticky situation and I am sorry that your dad does not approve. He should be happy for you regardless. When I got married the first time my step dad and I were in a pickle and I asked my uncle. Well anyways my uncle talked to my mom and it ended up that my step dad walked me down.
I would probably go talk to your dad if you are close and say "dad I know that you do not want me to go through with marrying him but I love him and want to spend the rest of my life with this man. I know that you want the best for me and no one will be good enough for me ever. I would like for you to be happy for me and walk me down the isle on what is supposed to be the best day of my life. I love you dad and I want you to be there for me."
2007-09-28 09:34:33 · answer #4 · answered by lilac27 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your dad is too old-fashioned. No your father should not walk you down the aisle seeing as he does not approve, that makes no sense. If he doesn't support you then he doesn't deserve the honour. Either walk down the aisle on your own or have your mum if you are close to her. I'm glad everyone else is happy for you so don't let your father get you down. Good luck!
2007-09-28 04:20:29 · answer #5 · answered by BTB2211 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my dear i had the same problem and all i did is get them together and we all went to dinner and i told my dad that religion had nothing to do with this conversation and neither did money so after that he did have anything wrong with it and we are getting married in march with my dad right beside me
i also think that your dad should not care about the money thing if your OK with it and it doesn't matter who makes more as long as there is enough to provide for the two of you and you don't go with out anything that you need just talk to your dad alone first and see what he say maybe all he needs is to know how his little girl feels about everything before he can give his blessing
2007-09-28 01:45:30 · answer #6 · answered by rebel chick 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you don't have your father walk you down the isle, you will regret it for the rest of your life! At least ask him and leave the ball in his court, then you will have a clean conscience. If he doesn't approve it is only because he loves you and believes that you can either do better or he knows something. He can't just not disapprove for no reason! Good luck!
2007-09-28 01:28:16 · answer #7 · answered by Christy RN 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
By the sounds of it you are an adult and you will be giving youself to your fiance on your wedding day. I feel that the tradition of having a parent give you away is archaic and should only happen when the girl is actually moving straight from her parents house to her new husbands, that doesn't happen very often in this day and age. I am not having anyone walk me down the aisle and when the officiant asks who is giving this woman to this man, I will answer.
Good luck
2007-09-27 23:24:59 · answer #8 · answered by Angela O 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
If you don't want him to, then don't have him do it, but think about it a good deal before you decide. In 50 years when you look back are you going to regret it? Do you even know if he would do it considering his feelings toward the marriage? I personally would ask my grandfather before I asked my step dad, but that depends on your relationship with them. Talk to you dad about it and how you feel and see where that conversation leaves you.
2007-09-27 23:13:39 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
He should only walk you down the isle if he gives you his blessing. Otherwise he shouldn't have the honour. He's holding you back from your true happiness, so you should just go for it. Just because he thinks his religion is the only religion doesn't mean that you have to think the same way. So do what you want, otherwise you won't be truly happy.
Good Luck! And no matter what, your dad will always be there for you. Hes your dad.
2007-09-27 23:32:31 · answer #10 · answered by ash 2 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Even if you want your dad to walk you down the aisle, I don't think he will do it because he does not approve your fiance.
2007-09-28 11:30:33 · answer #11 · answered by Belen 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋