I'm a step-mother of a 9 year old girl and 8 year old boy. There father got custody of his children bc their mother spent some time incarcerated. We've had them for almost 4 years. There mother has a 7 month old now, and I know the kids think constantly about their little brother. There mother has gotten better in ways about getting them when she is suppossed to but not when it come interms of her drinking which it states in the decree for her not to consume alcohol. She's very mental absusive towards the kids and very verbal absuive towards myself and their father. We did get children services involved 2 years ago bc she was having intercourse in front of them and they were acting out well she didn't comply with it and we did so they dropped us.
She has bi-polar (which is fime with proper medication - I'm depressed, but I take what I need to and see my doctor if anything changes. She is very manipualtive, sneeky, you don't know if she is telling the truth or lies. She's just a very ackward person and likes to start trouble with anyone.
When their mother drinks she gets drunk especially when she's on a certain anti-anxiety pill.
Their mother likes to blame us for every action her kids do over there... she thinks we don't know how to raise them. I think they just don't mind her because of the way she is.
The kids at our house are not perfect. The boy which is ADHD did 2nd grade again. Which was our fault considering to her but he has learnig disablities. He's a little angel compared to his sister. He does not like to get in trouble so he just listens to us and follows directions here. He has his days but who doesn't. He was mad at his mom for the longest time bc of what she did to him. When she had custody she would just drop in him (3 1/2 at the time) and say here keep him. And wouldn't pick him up for days. So we got custody of him first.
The girl which witnessed and experienced things that a little girl shouldn't.... misses her mother darely and that's why she acting out. Not applying herself in school. Always making excuses up like her mother does. And today for instant when we were trying to dicipline her for her grades in class.... starting pulling her and scratching her face.
I asked her who does that? And she says her mother does when she fights with her boyfriend. It was very disturbing to see it happened.
My biggest fear is and I know this sounds very selfish. I raised these kids for 3 1/2 years and I know they need help and I know thay tell us they want to live with us and they tell thier mother they want to live with her. I'm just afraid they would want to live with her and I know it's their mommy and that's normal. But she's demaging them and she'll continue even when they do go back when they turn 12. Suppossely she wants them when they turn 12. But if she wants them so badily why doesn't she try now? An money is not an issue with bc her gramndmother paya for everything.
What should we do? Are we harming them for not helping them?
2007-09-27 12:17:25 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
These kids need someone to talk to that will help them understand what is happening is not right. You should see about having supervised visitation so they don't see some of this.
2007-09-27 12:27:04 · answer #1 · answered by LIPPIE 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage counseling is the most important thing you two can do to save your marriage. If she won't go, check into some personal counseling. It will help you decide what is best for you and your family. Your marriage will not work if you are the only one willing to make an effort to keep it together. She may have some problems developing due to the nature of being a stay at home mom. It can be isolating, especially since you're active duty and you probably don't live near family and friends. Divorce is not an easy choice but sometimes it's the best one.
2016-05-20 02:25:27 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She seems like she doesnt want to deal with the kids correctly until they are older. I know its sounds awful, but you and their father should fight to have the kids not see her. She is obviously not in her right mind and it is just hurting the kids in the long run. I am in a similar situation and I am fighting for custody the whole way.....(except I am the mother who supports the kids and the dad id a deadbeat!)
2007-09-27 12:26:54 · answer #3 · answered by beth2581 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It really sounds like all of you could use some counseling to deal with this situation but I would say at least the kids need someone to help them to deal with everything that has happened in their young lives.
2007-09-27 12:25:49 · answer #4 · answered by sara 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋