My supposedly best friend said she didn't want me to be pregnant at her wedding (she said it in a joking manner, but i know she really feels this way) I don't feel that I should base my family planning around her wedding...as long as I'm there for her at her wedding she should be happy for me...any thoughts?
2007-09-27 11:58:31 · 34 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
It's YOUR life, YOUR body, YOUR family. Do as you please. If you really think she means it, then talk to her about it and ask if she really was serious. Behind every joke a bit of truth. She's probably thought about it, but only said it jokingly. I'd be proud of one of my friends was preg during my wedding! I'd love to see those pictures down the road. But that's just me. Talk to her and tell her how you feel. If she's your true friend, then if you are preg for her wedding, she can't/wont get mad or not include you. :o)
2007-09-27 13:21:58 · answer #1 · answered by Blondee 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't base YOUR life around her wedding, if she really gets angry for you being pregnant, than she really is an ignorant, selfish- Bridzilla!! If it is that bad then what is the worst thing to happen, she tells you to be a guest instead of in the wedding. Great then you wont have to spend money on an expensive dress that you will never wear again, you won't have to deal with any crap, just show up at the wedding and have a blast. Yet ,I think that if really got pregnant, she might be upset for like a week, but will accept it, and move on! No matter what, don't base your family and life according to her schedule. It is your life after all.
2007-09-27 18:39:49 · answer #2 · answered by Christy RN 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree that you shouldn't plan your family around her wedding. However, I can see her concern if you've already bought your dresses. If you think there's a chance, let her know so she can arrange the dresses to make it work. Like all the same color, and different styles, that way you can get a different one your size later on, and you won't have to worry about it matching. Or buy one too big so you can have it if you are pregnant or have it smaller if you're not. If your friend can't handle this, tell her you won't be able to be in the wedding then. She should respect your decision.
2007-09-28 17:13:48 · answer #3 · answered by BlackDahlia 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, if you're in the wedding party and made a commitment to it, I can sort of understand where she is coming from, even though she shouldn't have actually voiced it to you. If you have a small amount of time to wait, will it really matter that much if you hold off on trying to get pregnant?
If you're going as a guest, I don't see why she should be concerned. But I assume you're in the wedding.
2007-09-28 01:29:49 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't have to plan your family life around her wedding. If you do end up getting pregnant she should be happy for you if she is any kind of friend at all. Maybe she thinks a bridesmaid with a preggo belly would look tacky. Who cares? You should not have to put your life on hold because your friend i sgetting married. That is not fair. Sounds like you are being supportive and doing everything a bridesmaid is supposed to be doing. So I don't understand where there is a problem for her.
2007-09-27 12:19:31 · answer #5 · answered by musicgrl42002 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow, that is awfully presumptuous of her! Your "friend" should have no say in something as important as starting a family. A lot of brides get this diva attitude when it comes to their wedding, they want all attention on them. As if a pregnant lady will cause guests to ignore the bride. I think that's also the reason some brides don't want kids or babies at their wedding, like they would steal her thunder. Sooo very selfish! I'm sure once your friend is married and thinking about her own family planning she will see how rude her comment truly was.
2007-09-27 12:07:36 · answer #6 · answered by MelB 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My thought on this is.....you don't just plan to get pregnant overnight. Obviously, you have been trying or talking about trying to get pregnant for some time. The next time she sais something about you getting pregnant before her wedding, ask her if she would also like to pick the month, the name and precisely what time your baby will be born? She might see how much she is asking? In her defense, maybe she wants you to be able to drink and have a good time, she might think you would be a fun stopper, and it means alot for her to be able to party w/ you on that day???? I know, I'm playing both sides of the fence! Don't let a friendship go south over a wedding, tell her to have a backup plan in case you do get pregnant. (maybe someone to fill in if you do get pregnant) GOODLUCK!!!!
2007-09-27 12:21:01 · answer #7 · answered by Peng-you 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
In an ideal world, yes. But maybe she wants her wedding to be "perfect", and a pregnant bridesmaid doesn't fit in this "perfect" picture. You shouldn't be basing your family planning around her wedding - just go at your own pace, and if you do get pregnant, tell her that you would be happy to have someone else take your spot. Don't ruin a friendship over it.
2007-09-27 12:07:24 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Im a bridesmaid in two days at my sisters weddind,and only found out 5 wks ago im pregnant!!!!She was happy for me.
My Dress still fits,im still going to look the same but just with a bit of a belly.Pregnant women are beautiful,so what should it matter.Im sure your friend was just thinking about being able to have a drink with you and party on....no doubt if your were to become pregnant she would be over the moon for you.And being pregnant never stopped anyone from having a good time!!!!!!Hope that helps
2007-09-27 12:16:45 · answer #9 · answered by cheraleeg 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I've seen a lot of brides-to-be post angry questions about pregnant bridesmaids, so she's not the first!
I've also personally had a lot of kind, unselfish friends morph into bridezillas right before my eyes.
Point being, brides-to-be aren't always at their best. You should tell her frankly that she is asking far too much of you. You have no way of knowing if you'll truly be pregnant (or showing) at the time of her wedding, but if she is that serious about it, you will step down now.
2007-09-27 12:08:22 · answer #10 · answered by eli_star 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋