Me and my fiance planed a outdoor ceremony and his mother changed his mind for a church ceremony. And i am not pleased with the wedding planning so far. And i don't know what to do about rechanging his mind?
2007-09-27 11:34:09 · 39 answers · asked by Mrs. Allen 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Stand up for what you want. This day is for you and your husband. Talk to your future husband about how you feel about the changes. Planning a wedding is a very good way to find out how the two of you will deal with conflict in the future. See if he is willing to stand up to his mother. If he is not then you can expect that his mother will be a major conflict in your marriage in the future.
Also remember that you need to be able to make compromises. If it is really important to his family that it be in a church, then why not allow it to avoid pushing a barrier between you and his family. It is just one day in the rest of your lives. You need to find the balance between what will make you happy but also keep the future in laws happy. Communication is key.
2007-09-27 11:36:56 · answer #1 · answered by Dreams 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Your Wedding and Our Wedding. This is a team sport with a supporting roll played by family. Its wonderful when people want to help. Right now this is a great opportunity for you and your fiance to learn team work. Us first then them. Your mother in law is family and creating a great relationship with her only benefits you. However that does not mean putting your needs after hers. Ask your fiance if the church is important to him. If it is tell him how you feel and find a way you both can have what you want. Maybe the reception could be outside. Do NOT get sucked into a war with family. Parties are work to plan and a wedding is a BIG BIG party. How much fun you have is up to both of you. You should pop a bottle of wine sit down and talk about what you and he need from this moment. What is important to both of you. Agree nothing is worth the two of you getting into a fight over. Make a formal promise about this. During your wedding remember HALT which stands for hungry,angry,lonely, and tired. If you find yourself getting upset take a moment and check that you are not any of those. Always bring a protein bar with you! Keep your blood sugar up. Make sure he does too. You can have this Wedding any way the two of you want it. Just make a plan a really clear plan. Know what points can't change and be easy about the little stuff. You may not know this but parents go through a lot when there kids get married and they can get a little extreme. They have a lot of mixed feelings. Just respect your needs be understanding of there's and remember they are your baby sitters of the future. Most importantly take the time to have fun. Don't just pick the flowers ..... smell them too. Best of luck and have a happy life!
2007-09-27 11:49:12 · answer #2 · answered by mavrachangawoke 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell your fiance you want an outdoor ceremony as originally planned and that it is not up to his mother to decide what your wedding will be. It's not her goddamn wedding, it's yours so do what you want and be firm.
Also, if your fiance is going to take his mother's side instead of yours when it comes to planning, then you shouldn't be marrying him. He should side with you in things like this.
2007-09-27 23:54:26 · answer #3 · answered by BTB2211 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Correct me if I'm wrong...but it's yours and his wedding, right? You and him should be deciding this stuff together and she should be respecting the both of your decisions. I think it is very important for you to talk to him about this and let him know how your feeling. For one, it's YOUR guys wedding! It should be a very happy day for the both of you. Starting off a marriage with animosity isn't a good idea!
The other issue here, is that he chose to listen to his mother rather than respecting a decision that was made with his future wife! His may be a sign of future struggles that should be addressed and resolved before you go through with this wedding. You need to know he will be backing up the decisions you guys make as a couple in the future, and not shifting his opinion if his mother doesn't agree.
Good luck!
2007-09-27 11:42:37 · answer #4 · answered by ladybug 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Getting married in a church is in basic terms classic via fact having a church wedding ceremony is classic. there is various extraordinarily homes that are no longer church homes, and as became mentioned, there is various former church homes which could be rented out. some church homes might lease the development out, yet you're unlikely to have various success attempting to have a church rite that may no longer a suited church wedding ceremony, which incorporates references to God and the pastor doing interviews with you before. it rather is achievable, yet seeing how as you do no longer attend a church, you're unlikely to understand which ones do no longer care approximately marriages.
2016-12-28 05:41:04 · answer #5 · answered by arden 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit down with him and tell him calmly that this is YOUR day -- his and yours -- and it's only you 2 who must choose what your wedding will be like. You had already agreed to something you both liked, and it's not fair that you have to change everything only bcuz of what HIS MOTHER wants. He must understand that this ceremony is only about the 2 of you and he should support what YOU want, not your mother. Be gentle but firm, because you're supposed to be happy about the whole planning thing, not unhappy!!
2007-09-27 11:41:21 · answer #6 · answered by Lprod 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It depends. Certainly his mother should butt out and let you plan the wedding the way YOU want it. However, some families feel so strongly about church services that it may hang over the whole day for his side of the family. Depending on how religious they are, maybe that is the one concession you make...as for the rest of the planning, to heck with her!
2007-09-27 11:38:50 · answer #7 · answered by eli_star 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok well why did his mother decide where you are having the ceremony? don't let her get away with it because it only takes one time for her to get her way.. then she will be living vicarously thru you trying to have the wedding she wanted. stand up for what you want... tell your fiance it really makes you uncomfortable having his mom so close to all the planning. Tell him this is somethin gyou would rather you and him do together and leave everybody else out of it.
2007-09-27 12:09:21 · answer #8 · answered by musicgrl42002 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will have to sit him down and ask him what was the planed that you and him had made and let him know that it is not fare to you if you dont have a say so in it . Because he is getting married to you and you have the right to a outdoor ceremony that you and agree on.
2007-09-27 11:42:25 · answer #9 · answered by yeller at your gril 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Happy Bride! Take control! This is your wedding not his mothers, if religion is a concern for his mom he needs to explain your feelings as a couple. Whether you want religion it can still be included outside. Don't just sit back you are the bride! Take charge and let your fiance know this is not what you had dreamed of!
2007-09-27 11:37:36 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋