would you get mad if someone called you a sex toy?

Question

okay if you and this guy was only haveing sex and nothing more, just out for a good time on a regular base. if you told thim that everyone thought you was more then just friends and they called it friends with french benefits and he asked you what would you call him and you repley with your my sex toy. should he get mad b/c you called him that whenever you both understood that it was all about the sex nothing more... just some great sex. what do you think about it. i think that if he was all about the *** then why get mad over something stupid.

Answer 1

yes I would get mad
that is putting my name to shame

Answer 2

When I was 12 I started masturbating using my fingers, about half a year before I got my first period, so to me it's normal. I've since read plenty of teen magazines and teenagers from about 12yo onwards stick all kinds of things up there as a "sex toy", some of which are fine, others which aren't (can break, get stuck, etc). This obviously can lead to very embarassing doctor's trips or worse. I could mention what I've used (never had problems, luckily), but I think you can use your own imagination. Explain to her that even if she washes other people's sex toys, there's still a small risk of her getting an STD from them, so you'd like her to not get into the habit of using other people's, including your, sex toys. Then, ask her whether she wants her own. If she gives a positive response to that (she might be too shy to blatantly say "yes"), ask her whether she wants it to be that size or smaller, and hard or semi-hard. Like someone else said, it's safer than her fooling around with boys. Let her know that though you're cool with her using her own sex toy, that that doesn't mean you're cool with all sexual activities, that you still believe in "no sex before marriage" or w/e you think is appropriate wrt to that. Edit: Hm... while I was typing my reply some other people wrote some stuff I want to reply to... I regularly masturbated from when I was 12.5yo using my fingers and a variety of other items and I didn't have real sex until three weeks before I turned 20 (with the person I'm married to now), I didn't get my first kiss until I was 17. So relax...

Answer 3

First of all, it's Fringe Benefits not French. Sorry, had to say that. Next if you two have already established that you are only in this thing for the sex, neither of you has the right to get angry if that's all you are in their mind. However, it is possible that it might feel demeaning on some level to be "labeled" as a sex toy. I can see how that might make you feel put down a little. Just ask him not to use terms like that. Tell him that you guys are having sex, yes, and it's fun, but you don't have to belittle me for it. Remind him that you could stop giving it to him at anytime if he isn't sweet to you. ;)

Answer 4

Well I personal would not get mad and would probably call it the same thing you did. I think that since you both are under the understanding that you just have sex and thats all you want from each other then you kidding around and calling him your sex toy is fine. If he does have a problem with it just say sorry I was just being cute and ask him why it upsets him.

Answer 5

Because it's never just about the sex. Casual sex is an attempt to get intimacy without all the messy complications of relationships. And, believe me, I didn't see this on Dr. Phil or read it in a book somewhere. But it never works quite as well as hoped. Attatchment feelings automatically develop after sex and can't really be turned off. You called him a sex toy and this statement pierced through his denial and got to him. Time to have a few drinks or find another sex partner to convince himself that all he needs is sex.

Answer 6

I don't think I'd get that mad about it. Seems to me that a lot of guys might like being called a sex toy. But if he got offended, explain to him that you didn't mean it in a degrading way, you were just trying to define the nature of your relationship in a fun or silly way, or what ever it is you really meant.
Or maybe try to play it like you were trying to talk dirty. Everyone likes a little dirty talk now and again.

Answer 7

Not at my age! :-) A woman can call me anything she wants! To answer you question I don't think he should get mad at all if you had a mutual understanding that the get together was just for sexual pleasures. Obviously he was getting more attached than you had originally anticipated and because it was on a regular basis it started to seem like he was expecting you to say he was your serious boyfriend and that you were falling in love with him. Just give him time to get over it.

Answer 8

First of all there is no reason for him to get mad about that. I dont know a guy that wouldnt want to be just that. Now. if its understood by both of u and thats all it is. he has no right to be mad. he obviously wants it to be more. so you have to either make it more or end it. its that easy.
thats wierd normally its the girl that gets the feelings and would get upset about that. good luck..

Answer 9

I think this sounds great--bang up the patriotically system.. Guys are always looking at their girl fiends as sex objects. Or so I heard.

On a more defining note--you two need to talk--is it just sex or does he think theres more there? Tell be honest.

Answer 10

Maybe he was hoping for more? Very rarely do two people who are attracted to eachother carry on a relationship with no aspirations of a future together to some degree. Even if that future is just dating.

Sounds like he was hoping for more and you popped his bubble.

Answer 11

it's demeaning...i guess i wouldn't like to be told that...it just seems human to me, if you're having good sex with someone, you'd like to think feelings are involved, even with the understanding that "it's just for the sex".

a sex toy sounds like a plaything, an object...a person having great sex with someone, no doubt, wants to be thought of as a Person...