Did you get punished by belt, or paddle when you were growing up?

Question

I am 47.. so this question may not apply to everyone here age wise. But.. I was raised in a time when if you did not do what you ask, or if you smarted off to your parents, you were usually spanked, or given a slap to remind you that boundries exist and if you did not follow them, then they're were reprecussions for that! Disipline... Is it lacking with kids today?

Answer 1

Yes, it is lacking today. Many parents have been brought up to believe that that they should never spank their child because that if they do they will become more and more aggressive and possibly become criminals when they are adults. That is simply, not true.

Sarah Beth said that in sociology classes she has taken, she learned that studies "overwhelmingly proved", that children who were "spanked or paddled", became more aggressive as they get older.

I worked as a RN for 22 years and 20 of those years were on psychiatric units. In many classes I have taken I learned what was necessary for a study to be valid. The studies that Sarah Beth mentioned were all seriously flawed and were not valid.

It would take a 3 credit college course to discuss everything that it takes for a study to be valid, but just let me explain 1 of them that applies here. These "studies?" were done backward. They asked prison inmates and other people who chose to behave in an aggressive way, if they got spanked as a child.

They found that most of those people had been spanked as children. That means nothing! If you asked all convicted serial rapists if they drank milk when they were a child, I'm sure that 99% would say, yes. If you used the same reasoning that socialogists do, you would conclude that drinking milk as a child caused them to grow up to become serial rapists!

I'm 64 y/o and when I was growing up, almost every child was spanked when they did somethring wrong and the % of aggressive people was dramatically less than it is today. This would indicate that NOT SPANKING your child caused them to become MORE aggressive!

The only way to do a "somewhat" valid study would be to ask people at random if they were spanked as children and then see how many of the ones who were spanked, were aggressive versus those who were not spanked.

Even that is not enough to make a "study" valid but hopefully it shows 1 glaring fault with the "studies" that have been done.
Actually, to really have a valid study, you would have to choose married couples, without children, and have different control groups to control for different amounts of income, status, and other factors that might affect the outcome of the study.

Then you would have to "randomly" choose from each group 1/2 of the parents and "order" them to either spank or not spank their child. You would have to also order them to only have 1 child to eliminate the factors that their siblings would introduce to the study. Then you would have to observe evrything about the family for at least 20 years.

Then you might have some idea if spanking "influenced" people's decission to act in an agressive way. Obviously you can't do a study like that as, thank God, we are not the Nazi Germany of pre WW2.

Why do sociologists say these stupid things? Because they have an AGENDA! Part of their agenda is to have more power and influence over how things are done in the country. They want to be able to have the culture and laws be what they want them to be.

If they tell people that the social milleau CAUSES people to behave in certain ways rather than just being an INFLUENCE, and the people believe this, then they have much more power to persuade us and the government, to do things the way they think we should.

The other thing that sociologists ascribe to is the philosphy of Determinism, which causes big problems. One of the main tenents of Determinism is that people are UNABLE to make CHOICES in how they behave! This philosophy says that every action a person makes is "determined" by their enviornment and that the individual is UNABLE to CHOOSE for themselves, what they do!

In this case, it says that a person can not choose whether to act in an aggresive, violent way or in a peaceful way. Wow! Don't you and I do that every day? There are a lot of things I would "like" to do but doing those things brings negative consequences to me so I choose not to do them.

Anyone who is an adult and can reflect on their own life can realize that the philosophy of Determinism is RUBBISH! If they reflect on what I've just written, they can realize that the idea that spanking CAUSES their children to act in aggressive and violent ways, is equally RUBBISH!

Answer 2

I never got the paddle. I got the belt once. Any other time, it was just the hand.

I think it is lacking with kids today. Too many people are either "too scared" to discipline their kids, they're "too soft" on their kids, or they "just don't care" what their children do.

The world is going to hell because of it. Kids and teenagers don't have any respect for anyone. And their parents, all they do is cry and ask "what did i do to deserve this?" I think parents need to be in charge again instead of the kids and teenagers.

Answer 3

i am 25 and remember getting my butt busted a coule times.... and i assure you, i never did what it was i got a spankin ofr again!! i think that is what is wrong with kids nowadays... they know that there is no physical punishment for anything they do...i mean, its no conincidence to me that since they have outlawed spankings, that kids are very disrespectful and sometimes down right evil now...

think of back in the day when it was legal to give spankings in school... and it wasnt that long ago, cause i remember ppl getting spankins at school until i was in at least the 8th grade......i mean, back then you didnt have the kind of problem you have with kids now.... i couldnt recall any school shootings or anything like that.... it wasnt as crazy and out of conrtrol as most school systems are now.....they have no authority over the students, because the government is more concerned with kissin everyones but than keeping order... i mean, parents cant even smack their kid on the hand legally anymore... there are ppl who will report you to defacs if you swat you child on the hand... that is ridiculous! the government has no place when it comes to how a parent disciplines their child unless it is clear abuse( not spankings) is goin on....

i mean, what is the "time out" bull?? i see more and more parents using this method, and very strngely, these mom are the ones that have the most unruly children... and im not being biased... i go to a play date every week with mom of children between the ages of 1-10, and i know which ones use the time out method, and which use the spanking..... the ones that get spankings are much more well behaved, and talk to the parent with more respect than the "time out" kids... i see the time out kids runnin wild all over the place, and when the mom gives a command, they barely even notice, much less listen.
now please dont take this to mean that i think spankin should be the only form of punishment, or am i sayin to spank for any little reason.. but i do believe when certain boundries are crossed, a spanking should be an option.

Answer 4

I'm 35 and never got spanked. I have a 10 and a 2 yr old. The 2 yr I have never spanked. The 10 yr I have spanked only twice

Answer 5

I got spanked occasionally as a little kid, but not often. I think being paddled or belted as a kid should be used only in extreme situations, if at all. I've taken quite a good number of sociology classes, and there are overwhelming statistics showing that people who were spanked and paddled often as children are much more likely to have aggressive tendencies as they grow older. Hitting a child is what most parents resort to when they're at a loss of what to do. It should ONLY be done in dangerous situations, such as a child reaching for the stove or climbing on top of furniture where they could fall and hurt themselves. When you hit a child often for discipline, they won't care after a while. I think that a belt or a paddle should NEVER be used, as that's getting to be abusive and causes excessive pain.

I'm not saying that you shouldn't discipline a child, but parents should try and find better ways to enforce rules. In Sweden, it is illegal to use physical punishment on children, and yet parents are still finding it possible to discipline them. I do agree that too many parents nowadays are trying to be "friends" to their children rather than parents, but there's a very big separation between hitting a child and being a wimpy parent.

Answer 6

Um yes. Lacking in a huge way. Spanking today is viewed by some as barbaric, and look at where our society is. Really effed up. I try to give my kids at least one a day, whether they need it or not. Just kidding, but I totally believe in it, and have well behaved kids to prove it works.

Answer 7

I am 23. My Dad would get out the belt, but it was really just to scare me. He never needed to take it to te next level.

Yes. Discipline is lacking today. Most parents these days would rather be seen as a friend to their child than as a parent. They want to be "liked" and "accepted" by their kids. Unfortunately, it's really damaging to the child.

I got along with my parents when I was younger. We did things, but they were still my parent. Kids pick up on it when the parent is weak and they use it to their advantage, walking all over the parent.

I belive that it's also plainly lack of parenting. I see so many parents giving their children whatever they want to shut the kid up. "Mommy is busy". Mommy is just too busy to be a mommy apparently....

It's sad.

Answer 8

A lot of parents want their kids to just be happy....blah....I learned to respect my parents and knew the boundaries so that made me comfortable....which in turn made me happy. My boys are the same way. There is a definite line and if they cross it then they get punished. We usually don't have to spank because they respond so well to the Mommy look. My two reasons to spank are 1)lying...hate it! and 2) being disrespectful. The boys know it and they know the consequences if they do either.

Answer 9

I strongly believe Disapline is lacking today. I didn't get hit with a belt or paddle.. but I do remember getting swat with my mothers hand... And I remember that I deserved it also. My husband on the other hand came from a very abusive father. He loved the Belt.

I really do think that kids need to know boundries. If it takes a swat so be it.. but most kids don't need that. They do need to know their parent is not their best friend but their parent. No mouthing off or back talk!

Answer 10

i was punished by belt, stick, shoe, being put into a corner annd slapped until my mother's arms were tired, kicked, punched,as you can tell, i was a very bad kid. i was always in truoble, and i was always angry. i never went one day without a new bruise or busted lip because i had to go and talk back to my mother. i called her names, told her how much i hated her, threatened to kill her, and started fighting back by the time i was 13. before i turned 14, i had already overdosed and been in a mental hospital twice, and a treatment center. my mother gave me to the state when i was 14, where i went to shelters, mental hospitals, and finally spent 3 years in an awesome treatment center, where i got out only because i was 18, and couldn't stay any longer. so do you think that kind of "discipline" is what kids need today? your child hits his brother, so you smack him in the face, and you think that's ok? if anyone ever treated my daughter the way i was treated, i would kill them. kids don't need to be hit when they mess up, they need someone to talk to them. if my mother had given me the time of day, i never would have acted like that. and you can't say i would, because when i was between 8 and 10 years old, my mother was married to a man who did not let her spank me. i acted up twice. each time, my mother sat me down and explained what i did wrong, and how i could fix it. i felt bad because i knew i had done wrong, but my feelings were not hurt, and neither was my body. during those 2 years, i was very happy. i did everything i was told, i kept my room clean, came in before dark, went to church, and never talked back. my life was good, and that's how i entend to "discipline" my daughter. kids these days are so messed up, because everything else is so much more important for parents. they would rather go to work, go out, and then come home and yell at their kids for crap that happened while they were out instead of giving their children the love and affection they need. no, discipline is not lacking for kids today, it's lacking for PARENTS!!!