My boyfriend cheated on me but theres this thing ..?

Question

My boyfriend and i have been together for almost a year now. I honestly thought *maybe still think * i am in love with him .. and i know he is with me .. but yesterday he told me that he had something important to tell me . He said two days after he asked me out he cheated on me .. he claims you know "he didnt know what was happening it was sudden " blah blah .. but he didnt want to tell me because he knew i wouldnt trust him and id break up with him. Now that he tells me i feel like ive had 50 blows to theheart and i dont know what to do because im in love with him, but i hate him so much at the same time.. he wants me to forgive him but i know the whole "cheat once they'll prob do it again" thing, but i dont think he would .. i just dont know what to do.

Answer 1

let me guess your mom or someone told you about "once a cheater always a cheater"
Not true .
Guys can change .
listen he cheated on you two days after you two hooked up .
He wasn't in love with you then
He is now though .
You need to forgive and forget .
I mean think about life without him .
It would be dreadful right.
And at least he was man enough to admit it .
Its called an open relationship
You need to trust him


You say you love him stay with him .
He didn't tell you that so you'd break up with him .
He told you that because he wanted you to know the truth
and he doesn't want no more lies .

Trust him , don't leave him , and love him like he didn't even tell you that ..


Good Luck hun .

Answer 2

I mean to me the make it or break it point would be the time.. was it reallyyyy 2 days after he asked you out? Or was it more like 2 months.. I mean it's a huge difference ya know?

My now fiance (then boyfriend) and I were exclusive for 6 months before we actually gave ourselves the "bf/gf" title and for this exact reason. For some reason once you are calling each other boyfriend and girlfriend all of a sudden these invisible "rules" are put into place.

Listen to your heart. If you trust him and have never had any reason to not until this minor thing, then forgive and move on. However don't forget it.. I'm not saying paly 20 questions every time he leaves your sight.. but you know.. just be aware. I would say it's totally forgivable if it were done within in the "week" you first started dating. Really.

Good Luck.

Answer 3

Cheating as defended in the dictionary is (V tr) To deceive by trickery; swindle (v intr) To act dishonestly; practice fraud, or Informal To be sexually unfaithful So depending on which definition you would like to chose technically say he didn't cheat. But he was dishonest about it and if nothing was " going on" between the two of them he should have told you in the first place. Sometime people can see the errors of their ways, but if you do give him a second chance be-careful because if you forgive once what is there stopping him from doing it again and saying Sorry it'll never happen and then you are stuck in a repeating trend. I think what the relationship needs is communication, but sometimes that is not the case. Also some one once told me once a cheater always a cheater. I have a friend who now lives by that rule. poor thing was cheated on so many times. Me I would boot him to the curb.

Answer 4

I think you should have a long, honest talk with your boyfriend, and figure out what kind of a relationship the two of you want to have.

It sounds to me like you're saying that he told you this voluntarily -- that he didn't just tell you because he'd already been caught. If that's the case, then that alone tells you he's pretty serious about you.

I totally don't agree with the "if he cheated once, he will again" school of thought. It sounds to me like he's really suffered, and that he's sincere about wanting to be with you.

I'm also a little confused about the logistics of all this. Did he "cheat" on you two days after he went out with you for the FIRST time? It doesn't seem like you'd hardly be in an exclusive relationship that fast, but what do I know?

Anyway, I think the solution to your problem is communication. LOTS of communication.

Answer 5

Hes probably telling you because he thinks the information is going to get back to you now somehow. Maybe the other girl is trying to get with him and is bringing up the fact that he messed around with her while he had another girl.

To be honest tho, its really at the beg. of your relationship. You guys werent committed if he just asked you out a couple days before that. Anytime you are a good looking person or are dating one, you will find they are always in a relationship. so dont feel bad cuz of some bimbo he fd around with when he hardly knew you.

If you are going to be paranoid about it, then you shouldnt be in a relationship. the guy WAS honest and did tell you give him some credit for that right?

Answer 6

In my opinion, people cheat when they are insecure and don't think that they belong in a particular relationship. I mean, if he didn't like you he wouldn't be there. So, he cheated because of something going on inside of him. Even if you forgive him it doesn't seem that the effort will resolve his internal issues. Since you are attracted to him I can only assume you also have some insecurity issues you're wrestling with. Also, why wouldn't you find someone that will never cheat on you? Probable because he seems like the best you will get (no offense). Sometimes you have to kick them to the curb and work on being happy when you are alone. Tough to do, but sometimes necessary. Go to the movies by yourself. I bet love will find you...

Answer 7

Even though the "cheat once..." thing is usually true; sometimes a person makes a very bad choice and regrets it. This cheating was two days after he asked you out? When he asked you out, did he ask you to be monogamous? If not, how was he to know that yours would develop into a long-term relationship. It might be worth giving he one more chance - but ONLY one more.

Answer 8

Sounds like this happened very early in your relationship and he was afraid to be honest with you at the time as he knew he blew it and didn't want to lose you that early. Fact is that he admitted his indiscretion to you, although a little late, and is trying to make amends. Now the decision is up to you on whether you want to believe that it will be a one time fling. A lot I suppose has to do with how old you are at present and likelihood that he will repeat this. If you feel confident that he learned something from this it is alright. Basically your instincts should guide you and if you are pretty in tune with them then allow them to dictate to you the proper thing to do. It is also very natural your feelings of love/hate at the present as you feel betrayed. Best of luck in making a good and healthy decision that you will be happy with.

Answer 9

hey if he didnt tell u earlier he was afraid. but now wen he told u then he's not afraid coz he has faith in u, in ur love. he loves u a lot n he told u dat as he's sure dat u'll understand him n forgive him. im sure he didnt cheat on u purposedly but im sure he'll not do it again. he didnt want 2 hurt ur feelings n he didint tell u this coz he thought u might wronged him n break off wiv him in a rage.cme on understand his feelings!! n anyway the fact dat he told u dat proves that he loves u n value u in his life- how? no relationship can b based on lies. so he told u the truth coz he really loves u. plz forgive him n u'll see u wont regret it

Answer 10

my grl did the same to me.....it has been a year and he confessed of what he did in the beginning, u both built a relationship with each other within that yr and he told u the truth...i was mad at first but it was a mistake in the begin so trust him and in time ull get over it...the reason it hurts is cause u love him but if he cheated after that time then u gotta get outta of there