My son's father and I have been separated for about 10 years now, our son is going to be 12 in December. My son's dad , Jason, is on his second marriage and has 4 other kids by 3 different women since we split ( we are both in our early 30's) I have only my one child by him and remained single up until recently. When Jason found out that I am in a relationship again he said that he was jealous .
Jason only picks up our son when it is good for him,(I have control over visitation because he would either not show or cancel all the time. I ALWAYS let our son go with him whenever he and our son agree on it.) Jason lives about two hours from us and uses that as an excuse but picks up his one daughter all the time, she lives 15 minutes from us. He pays child support whenever, pretty much when I say that I am tired of him not helping and mention court. Last night I said that he need to pay child support again and that I am tired of him not being there for our son.
2007-09-27 09:18:56 · 7 answers · asked by kellylee 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Today he called and emailed me and said that I was only concerned with money and that I was pretty much a terrible person because I have stayed over at my new boyfriends home and These are his exact words "that it must have taken a long time for me to get over him and that even with a new boyfriend, I'm still in his business. ( I don't even like to talk to him , I will be civil if on the phone or in person) My new boyfriend thinks that Jason is upset because I have proved that I have moved on , I really did long ago and that He is saying things to make me feel bad and guilty about asking for child support( We go though a collection unit already they are doing what they can) What do you think about the situation and any advice ? Hopefully I didn't ramble to much, just a little upset. Thanks so much!
2007-09-27 09:27:36 · update #1
I live in N.Y. and He lives In P.A.. He doesn't hold a job hasn't had one in months . His wife is a cna and works double shifts. ( for the most part I like her, she is very good to my son.)
2007-09-27 09:36:51 · update #2
Hey there... I am not sure what the question is....you are stating a lot of facts.. but what would you like to ask?
Sounds like you already have an established routine ..even if the father is not in the picture as he should and is not 100 devoted as he should be... the routine has been in effect for so long now...son is now 12.
Do you want this routine... to change? If so... I think it has gone on so long now that things will be difficult to change and this may put pressure on your son as a consequence.
I would just take it as it is... talk to the father about the child support and get mediation for that... absolutely...
However... don't try to make him into a responsible dad now...it is not worth it.
Put more energy in your new relationship... that is priority now.
Hang in there... soon your son will be old enough to make up his own mind about visitations.
2007-09-27 09:30:04 · answer #1 · answered by Say 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1.) HIs being jealous. Not his business, not his problem. Ignore it.
2.) His not paying enough attention to your son. You'll probably never change this. Just be as good a parent as you can be, yourself.
3.) Not paying child support. Illegal. You don't say what state you live in, but here are links to all the states's child support enforcement websites (below). You need to get this enforced, and the government will help you.
http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/cse/extinf.html
2007-09-27 09:31:25 · answer #2 · answered by Diane H 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take his butt back to court and force him to pay for his son. It's not your or your sons fault he can't support all his kids. I'm sure he's having more to do with the child who's mother isn't giving him heck. It's not the point. He's a father to all of them, no one is more special than the other, or that's the way it should be. Don't let him get away with his little game he's playing with your son. As for his jealousy, never let him know you see it. Be happy yourself cause he chose his life, now make him live with it!!!
2007-09-27 09:31:08 · answer #3 · answered by Needtoknow 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to get the child support payments enforced, and
let visitation continue. Jason is only hurting his own relationship with your son if he doesn't show up. Of course
you are tired of it, he is playing games with your son to get to you, and it will probably get worse now that you have another manin your life.
2007-09-27 09:24:20 · answer #4 · answered by M S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take him to court, sue him for child support, and ask your son if he would like to continue visitation with his dad. He's at (or close to it) the age where the court will take his feelings on the matter into consideration.
2007-09-27 09:24:24 · answer #5 · answered by belle 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My advice would be to get a lawyer and have his wages garnished.
2007-09-27 09:23:49 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have a real problem in here somewhere, but you don't have a question.
2007-09-27 09:24:24 · answer #7 · answered by nursesr4evr 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋