What can i do to help my daughter?

Question

I have a 12 year old daughter that does not like being away from me for very long now her grandma just passed away almost 2 years ago and she does still get upset about it like every fews days she will get upset now me and her father been divorced since she was a baby and we take turns for having her ill have her for a week then he will have her for a week then its back to me now he just got out of jail few months ago and he was there for 5 years now it was his mom that passed and i was putting on a play for a week so my daughter hardly seen me and cause i was so busy with my play i do plays like grease and my daughter was really missing me and she use too could handle being with her father for a week but just last week she only lasted 4 days with him then she really wanna be with me she told me not to leave her again i have tryed telling her im not gonna leave her for a very long time but its not working how else can i help my daughter?

her grandma use to singer she did concerts just in town and someone made a cartoon show about her and she pretty close to her grandma now her cartoon show came on dvd and i got all of them and found some of her grandma's songs on bearshare and i donwloaded them and made a cd for my daughter and she will look at one of the cartoon pictures and will try to copy by drewing it now i think knowing her grandma is gone she thinks im gonna go next now the dvds and the songs does help her feel better about her grandma a little bit.

Answer 1

You need to start talking to your daughter about death. Even yours. You would be misleading her if you were to tell her you will never leave.

My mother used to tell us (my sisters & I) that. Then she was killed. First, I said my mom lied to us. Then, I felt she abandoned us.

I have always made it a point to tell my children about death. They know now that EVERYONE dies - one way or another - even moms, and have accepted that as a true, fact of life.

Answer 2

ok well you can tell your daughter you are healthy and if she questions that then tell her that if you do pass away you will still be in her heart and that you go to a better place of ultiment happiness of god's love, take so trips with her to her dad's house. you may not get along, explain its for you daughters sake. stay with her most of the day there, let her adjust to her enviorment then stay until bedtime, have her fall asleep and then go back to your house, she will beable to enjoy her father's house more if she has a sense her mom is there too.

Answer 3

Wow, that was one really long, hard to read sentence. Your daughter is 12 years old and old enough to survive without you for a week especially to see her dad. Tell her that she can call you if she needs to during the time she is with her dad but that you will not pick her up early and he will not drop her off early. I know this sounds cruel but she needs to learn how to be independent of you and she also needs to spend time with her dad. If that doesn't help, take her to a counselor to see what is going on.

Answer 4

When you ask questions on here, please, please, please use punctuation. That was very hard to read. As for your daughter, it sounds like she's having severe separation anxiety, and she's also feeling uncomfortable around her father. She hasn't seen him for five years, mom! Yeah, she's going to be upset when she's there for four days. He's a stranger to her now. After all, the last time she saw him she was seven, and that's a -very- long time to a kid. You need to sit down and talk to her about life and death and reassure her that you're not just going to flip over dead. It sounds like she's been very coddled and hasn't had to face death before. You need to have a long, heart-to-heart conversation. Maybe buy her a pet, too. Help her feel more secure and self-confident.

Answer 5

I know this isn't the point of the question...but wow... There is only one punctuation mark in that whole sentence. Lucky question mark must have won the race or something.

It sounds like she has a very unstable family life and as her main caregiver you need to do something about that. Jailed father, mother gone a lot, etc...etc... Your daughter is number one, you better start treating her like it.

Answer 6

I think your daughter could use proffessional help. There are some things in life which we handle and some others which we can not.
It sounds like she is going trhough one of those. If she gets help she would be able not only to deal with what has and is going on, but also understand the situations.

Answer 7

I'm be gonna blunt with you so please don't get mad. You guys ruined this kid. Shes going to have these abandonment issues probably for the rest of her life. Therapy will help but the sooner the better. have you thought about how this is going to effect her personal life when she gets into relationships ? She'll probably only find guys that leave her and then your really screwed. I'd say your only option is Therapy. Again I'm sorry for being so Harsh.

Answer 8

Wow. That's a long sentence. But it seems she has had a pretty hard life. She wants to be around you because of life. Girls need to talk to their moms about stuff. And she might not be used to being around her father. He was gone for 5 years! Try councelling. Good Luck!

Answer 9

Call with any problem, Anytime:
Girls and Boys Town National Hotline
Phone: [phone]
Email: [e-mail]
They have the trained professionals to
help your daughter, and it's just a call away. <}:-})

Answer 10

i have been a child in this position before, my mom died when iwas young and i clinged to my aunt and begged for her not to die all the time,

i'd really like to talk to you thru an e-mail about this, i feel like i have alot of information that can help you and your daughter.

please e-mail, i've been in your daughters shoes before and its painful and hard for her.


hope things get better.