Im 21 and there is a man 33 years old, that wants to date me! will age be an issue?? He is also just going through a divorse i have a son who is 1 1/2 and his daughter is 11? should i try it out??
2007-09-27 06:35:48 · 35 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You are both adults, so the choice is yours. However, I would URGE you do wait until he is divorced.
2007-09-27 06:38:15 · answer #1 · answered by kja63 7 · 6⤊ 1⤋
If you really like the guy, I don't see anything wrong with the guy being 12 years older than you. I don't think age should matter, you can always try it. Then if it don't work out, you know at least you tried. I hope everything works out for you best of luck.
This is something I got off of the internet: I
think if two people find love and passion in one another the age should not be an issue. I have heard many excuses on why the age gap is such a big deal, ranging from, "yall would have nothing in common." " The sex would be un compatible" (do men and women loose there sexual organs as they get older?). or there is the occasional older woman who says " you need to stick to men your own age instead of taking all the ones in my age group".
Me, personally have always dated older men. I get criticized on it often. "Oh she's just dating him so she can have a sugar daddy". I didn't realize just because men were older they were rich. I am fully capable of supporting myself and my future husband even if that means paying for his nursing home bill... (Joke people chill out)
I think older men were raised with much more morals then the younger generation. They have work ethic, they believe in family's, they still tell they woman shes beautiful, (Hot gets old) No, im not saying there's not the occasional 20 something to 30 something year old man who doesn't have values imbedded in him. It's just a rare things now days.
Im not necessarily saying I only will date an older man, I still date men my age, it just never works out. They want to party, and do college and immature activities. That's just not me, I grew up fast, maybe a little too fast even.
I just don't see why age is such a relevant issue to some people. Should it really matter? I know the same standard is done to men as well, they get labeled as cradle robbers, pervs and other such nuisance names. why should it matter if both people are happy?
2007-09-27 06:50:12 · answer #2 · answered by nana 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
We'll normally I would tell you Yes because Im 32 and my Wife is 21 I have been with her since she was 18 I didnt think it would work in fact I broke up with her lots of times cause of the age issue.. We now have a daughter and she is much more maturer than she use to be.
My answer for you would be to try it out but be aware that there are children involved. So you two should date and leave the kids out of it for atleast a year this way they want feel so unstable. Cause when you break up with him or if you break up with him it affects the child too.
2007-09-27 06:41:22 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
With some people, 12 years (even at your ages) could be too much of a difference. Other people can handle an even larger age difference. It's just up to the individual couple. Age may not be an issue but you need to wait until your divorce is complete.
2007-09-27 06:42:33 · answer #4 · answered by migrainegirl1 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No steer clear of that drama before it starts. A man who is 33 has nothing NOTHING in common with a 21 year old! Also his daughter is 1/2 your age, that wont make for a happy house. and you deserve someone your age to go out with do to the things that you like to do and want to do. Stay away from that old dirty man who is just temporarly using you to fix his own issues!
2007-09-27 06:39:32 · answer #5 · answered by Pammie B 2 · 3⤊ 2⤋
If you believe the Novel "Little Women," the ideal age for a mate is he should be seven years less than twice your age...
Therefore, he's too young for you... ;)
Seriously...wait until AFTER his divorce is finalised, and check the courts to see if he is indeed undergoing a divorce (once filed, unless sealed, a Divorce is a public document, and anyone can see it, or atleast confirm it's existance with little to no trouble).
Until YOU are ready to begin something serious with him, keep it light, platonic, and the kids out of it. The last thing you want to happen is your child bonding to someone who will not be there in a couple of months. In short, be friends first, but not necessarily "Friends with Privileges."
2007-09-27 07:02:01 · answer #6 · answered by jcurrieii 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You're an adult - you're old enough to value your own opinion and to demand that others value it also. Others may disagree...fine...respect them, they are your equals.. but don't let them diminish your own opinions or side-line them as less valid than their own.
Don't ever live your life based just on what others think or feel. consider their feelings and thoughts but realise you're entitled to your opinion too.
The amount you let other peoples opinions over-ride your own desire to do whatever the hell you want should be equal to the amount that those other people are involved directly in the issue they have opinions on.
When it comes to YOUR love life, it's entirely 100% your own...so no one else's opinions matter on this subject.
so...the question is...forget everyone else, does his age matter to you? Forget what other people think/worry about. There is no reason why his age will be an issue.
If you have no specific worries, go for it!!!!!!!
alternatively, if you have worries..be specific with yourself eg. "I'm worried he'll be dull and want to sit home in front of the fire with a pipe and slippers and talk about the old days while i want to be out partying" then weigh up the evidence you have from this individual to support that worry. (if you have no evidence, write it off as JUST a worry)
if you've reached this stage and you've written off all your worries then ...date the guy!!
If there is evidence to support any of your worries, realise he may be willing to change his behaviour and being in a relationship with you will naturally change him. (eg. if he IS a lazy sit-at-home type, perhaps that's because he doesn't have a 21 year old girlfriend on his arm to show off and be proud of!)
once you've got down your specific list of worries and you've considered how important each is, and how likely it is that things will never change, you then are left to make a personal judgement call...
...go through this process and you'll KNOW you can stand by your decision however life goes...because it's a logical balanced decision.
best wishes to all involved.
2007-09-27 06:54:45 · answer #7 · answered by fai_ling 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Thats a rough situation to be in. My cousin was 21 when she started dating this guy with a kid. He ended up putting the kid on her and making it her responsibility. It was totally killing her and it ended up really bad. No one can tell you yes or no. Its really your decision but just make sure you thought about it. Also guys coming out of divorce will really just be looking to get a short term relationship, obviously they just came out of one and dont want to jump right back into another long term relationship. They are gonna want to play the field now that they have the oportunity.
2007-09-27 06:41:24 · answer #8 · answered by curious cathy 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
age will not matter that much.he is going through a divorce , so be careful some times a person needs a shoulder to weep in a bad time noting else,.....let him go through it then u will need a lot of time together to know each other very well to decide such an important matter because u both have gone through a bad relation ship already.Don,t take a chance with two children,s lives also.
2007-09-27 06:52:30 · answer #9 · answered by Tehseen B 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Well, there is no clear YES or NO answer.
Maybe answering some of these questions may help you a bit:
- How long ago did you meet?
- How do you spend your time together?
- What are your expectations from life?
- What are his expectations?
- Does either one of you want more children?
- Are you content with where you are (home, work, family environment)? Is he (after his divorce)?
etc. etc.
I am separated (getting divorced by the end of this year), 41 years old - my girlfriend (with 9 year old son) is 29.
And NO, in our case age difference does NOT matter. We do not want anymore kids. We are happy together. Spend a lot of quality time together as couple as well as a family.
2007-09-27 06:46:08 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
I have a 7 year old boy and my husband has a 21 year old daughter I am 24 he is 41 and he gets along great with my 7 year old..... I am the happiest I have ever been.... I also have 2 grand babies ( well he does )
so no age has no factor in the relationship
2007-09-27 06:45:44 · answer #11 · answered by oh_jo123 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋