Here's the dilemma
he cusses and yells as loud as possible at my daughter but never yells and screams at his two boys in the same way or as loud as he does her. She's his step daughter and he says he dont like her ways. But seriously, she is so sweet and would give her right arm to anyone even him if needed. She can just get on his nerves just by talking to me and he blows off at her. I'm afraid that one day she will either hate me for it ( for not leaving) or she will eventually run away to my sisters or possibly grow up to be a miserable, sick minded,suicidal person. I'm telling y'all this because I really want to know what your opinions are as to helping him control this anger. His sons can tear stuff up(lawn care equipment: serious stuff), not mind rules, dress like thugs, not do their chores or help around the house and he wont say anything but if he does it aint yelling! Now he does cuss at them every once in a while but not like he does her over little things.
2007-09-27 04:39:37 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
he hardly ever raises his voice to the boys. Now me I dont raise my voice or dicipline the boys unless I feel like dad missed a point on the subject. I dont cuss the kids either. I have talked & talked until I'm blue in the face and it just seems to be getting worse. If she wants to talk to me he doesn't want to let her and when she pursists he really gets ugly! I have threatened to leave and that still hasn't helped. what's your opinion on this one? I know he needs some counseling, as a matter of fact we all do but we just cant afford it!
2007-09-27 04:43:59 · update #1
He is even rude to me like this sometimes when hes upset or just wants to be. He has no respect for women in general. We are just worthless pieces of free *** in my opinion. This is how I think he thinks of women.
It would be hard for me to leave because I have two 4 yr olds and a 12 yr old that I would have to take care of on my own, not to mention that if I left he would stalk me until I lost my job. But I've talked about all this before so I wont go into it again.
2007-09-27 04:54:30 · update #2
I grew up in an abusive house and your daughter is not being treated right at all. Your worst fears will come true as you have described exactly what kind of life your daught is facing. She is depending on you as her mother to protect her from harm because she can't. She is being taught by your bf that she doesn't matter and is going to have no confidence, low self esteem, she is facing a miserable life and it has to stop. Leave him I think he is even abusing you too which is why it seems harder to leave him but it is not worth it to stay you can do better. He is not a good man and it is your responsibility to protect your daughter from harm including from him. Please I can't tell you enough how important it is to save your daughters life as that is what you are dealing with she is not going to have much of one if this continues.
2007-09-27 11:56:22 · answer #1 · answered by stacey b 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This sounds familiar to me as I've heard others talk about this...and you know what? It's disfunctional. If this man takes the liberty of treating your daughter like that especially while letting his own children run amuck, you need to tell him to get a grip or leave. Plain and simple. The only person who can change him is him and he has to see the problem and want to change, which it doesn't look like he does. How happy does this situation make you, let alone your daughter?
You can make it on your own, you do NOT need him or his attitude. You are a great person, and you have the opportunity to show your daughter how great you are. :) The best part of this is you didn't already say "I do" to this guy, you can just go ahead and kick him out. :)
2007-09-27 04:56:36 · answer #2 · answered by Jill S 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your husband does not care in any way for you daughter and that is very clear from his actuations towards her. He favors his two sons because they are his. I pity the little girl because of the maltreatment she is getting. I agree with you that she will grow up to be miserable person unless this thing comes to a stop. If leaving is not an option for you, then you will risk the future of your daughter. You have to get husband to make a fair treatment or else, you will make your daughter's life unstable.
2007-09-27 05:03:12 · answer #3 · answered by Reycen 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
With my little experience there is not any superb anti-dote than to talk and communicate and communicate approximately issues and matters which you think of are there. there is two issues costly - if he's into something else (like an affair which i'm hoping no longer) then the artwork is little demanding yet otherwise if the matters are which you the two are loosing the spark there are in all hazard thousand of issues you're able to do. yet initially attempt to appreciate the place the concern is - is he under pressure at artwork? does he superb you much less captivating? does he think of you have much less time now which you have a newborn? are there economic issues? discover the concern first.
2016-10-09 22:24:38 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really think you have already answered your question just in the first few sentence of what you were describing. No one ever wants a relationship to end, but that little girl deserves so much better and you as her mother should see to that. And trust me when I say she will grow up having all kinds of issues growing up. I wish you and your children the best but I would run and run fast away from him.
2007-09-27 04:48:16 · answer #5 · answered by Sheila C 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your daughter is not his step daughter since he is not your husband. The truth is most men can not accept another man's child. In this case this man does not even really want you.... just your live in services housekeeping/laundry/babysitter/lover) Don't you deserve better?
How sad your daughter is being brought up in a dysfunctional family. This will impact her ability to relate to a man latter. Do yourself a favor and her... find a real man and marry him.
2007-09-27 05:09:14 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
U need to really stand your ground! If u threatened to leave and he's still doing it then leave! only for a couple days to see if he gets the point! He needs to learn how to be fair. But he needs some anger management.
2007-09-27 04:50:01 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
if you and your boyfriend can't sit down and come to a conclusion about this yourselves, and if you are SERIOUS about continuing the relationship, then consider therapy to help you both cope with this issue...
if it were me and a man was yelling, and especially cussing, at my daughter, i wouldn't tolerate it for 30 seconds. NO ONE deserves to be emotionally abused... it hurts.
take care of YOU and your daughter and do what is most sensible and "safe".
take care.
2007-09-27 05:18:57 · answer #8 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
best option is to leave
maybe he did something to her & now is afraid that she will tell you???? just a guess
either give your daughter to your sister or leave your bf for good, it seem like he hate her & don't want her around his house
its serious your daughter may face some prolemsin future, you can't see it but its affecting her mind & brain
2007-09-27 04:55:50 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
hey you used to answer my questions ...i only wish you follow it too...coz you know whats right.
I am sorry to say but your bf doesnt sound right...he is immature .I know its soo hard to leave .Even if u want to solve this by talkin it out with your bf or controlling his anger i seriously dont think people ever change ...
and i know u dont wanna listen to this too...but leave him..you would have to one fine day...
coming back to your question i think you shd sit and talk to him...thou i really don t think it will help...
2007-09-27 07:11:43 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋