Any parents out there who can tell me how to deal with my teenage son rebellious attitude?

Question

We are a united family, we dont drink, smoke or do drugs at all. I kind of understand this as a stage in his develpoment, but sometimes it gets so hard to deal with him. Besides, my wife seems to take sides with him, in other words, I'm ALWAYS the wrong one. What to do?

Answer 1

You sound like my husband ,, I have a 17 yrs old son. Who has a mouth on him and yells and screams all the time .. comes is late , ect. I keep telling my husband that this is normal some kids are sneaky and quite and others are loud and vent .. my daughter she sneaky and quite and I never no what she is up to but i do with my son he wears it on his sleave the best thing i can tell you is back off let your wife handle it one it makes a happer home and to your son will not see you as the bad guy and when he need to tell you sometime or ask you a question about something that is bothering him he will come to you. Mommy mean business, and Daddy are fun, But if he draws the line you step in. This is what we have been doing and it seems to be working. If your wife is a stay at home mom like me or not think of it this way she was there to tell him no no when your out making a living to support your family little boy listen to there mothers .. . hope this helps..

Answer 2

I wish you gave us more details. My son just moved out (he'll turn 19 on Monday) and is living in an apartment with 4 other roommates to attend culinary school. We've battled with him for years over everything. We couldn't tell him to do anything without him blowing up. He's kicked holes in the walls, broke numerous things in the house, etc. etc. This was beyond our control so we did get him into counseling. He was eventually sent to a psychiatrist and was put on medication. Up until the minute we took him to his new city, I had no idea if he would even go because he was having one of his moments, cussing us out, etc. I finally had to tell myself that I've done everything I could to teach him properly in life and now it's up to him. His new job (he transferred) is only giving him 13 hours next week, so now he's realizing that he can't have a $90 a month phone bill because mom is not there to bail him out. As for your situation with your wife... I used to be caught in the middle between my husband and son. I tried to be neutral, but I wouldn't hesitate to speak if I felt my husband was handling something wrong. Sit down with your son and ask him straight out why he acts the way he does. When I ask my son these types of questions, he'll just get real quiet. Ask him what is bothering him and what you can do to help, if any. Tell him that you'll always be there for him, but he does have to respect you. You in return, need to show him respect too. Then have a talk with your wife about your concerns. Maybe she doesn't realize what she's doing. Mothers have a different way of trying to solve things. If you two can come to a mutual agreement on what to do when your son gets rebellious, then you'll be able to handle him better. I feel for you because I definitely know what you're going through. Good luck and just remember that one day this will end.

Answer 3

You need to get together with your wife, and have a calm discussion about discipline and your son.

You both need to be on the same page... so if one of you says "no" the other needs to join forces, even if they don't feel the same at the time.

As a unit of two, you are giving your son mixed messages... and when one of you takes sides with the child, it isn't good.

I think this is an issue you and your wife need to get past.

And as far as your son's rebellious attitude? Kids go through this, and as parents we need to get a handle on it... you might do a yahoo search for COPING WITH A REBELLIOUS TEENAGER or something similar. lots of self-help websites out there for good, free info.

Answer 4

what is it that he's rebelling about? have you tried talking to him when he is not in one of his funky little moods? that could help, as foryour wife taking sides, try talking to her bout it as well, not during an argument or anything, but at a calm moment, just bring it up to her and see whats th edeal? maybe spending a little time with him alone would bring the two of you a little closer together n that way, you will understand him a bit more, remember what it was like to b his age??? just be patient, hopefully its just a stage he's going thru.

Answer 5

Have you ever said, you may be wrong?

If you ask them how you are wrong without blowing up, they may see you are trying to see things from their point of view ... and teenagers ALWAYS feel misunderstood.

If your teen can't talk to you now when there are no problems, he'll lie when there are problems. Be an easier guy to talk to with a New Halloweens Resolution ... don't wait till the New Year.

Answer 6

Watch Supernanny! Talk to your wife and show a united front. He is still your child! It doesn't work if 1 parent is the only one to discipline and let him know if he wants to be a jerk, he can be a jerk when he pays his own rent and takes care of himself

Answer 7

Do not fly off the handle at his every action and be able to bend without breaking, firm rigidity causes breakage. Allow him to talk and truly express what is on his mind without jumping down his throat. You ride him like a pony and he will tell you nothing. Let him know he is loved. Tell him you love him and give him hugs. Do not be afraid to hug him, I still hug my 19 year old. I hug and tell my sons I love them everyday. I tell them they are winners and I am proud of the fine young men they are. Our sons have always crawled between us in bed and talked about everything because they knew we would not go ape crazy and start putting them and belittling them. Also, they are more open to listen to our suggestions without taking it as us trying to control them. Sometimes he will do things to piss you off just to see how you will respond. We wanted to know what was going on in their lives and we wanted them to have that open, free forum to talk and be heard with respect, even though we may disagree, just as I want him to respect what I tell him. Stand your ground, be firm, discipline him, and mean what you say and your son will respect you for that because he knows the limits. Like the Lord says in Proverbs: A soft answer turns away wrath. Best of luck.

Answer 8

spend more time listening and understanding them. this doesn't mean you have to change your ideas. just pursue empathy and reflective listening or active listening. it is diffucult. i recommend marshall rosenberg's "Nonviolent Communication" you need to change how you are dealing with the situation. and i think empathy is the best method. it doesn't mean giving in or changing your mind or the rules. it does mean really understanding other people.

Answer 9

Remind him who brought him into this world and who will take him out of it.