I lost my mom two years ago. 9/11/05 to breast cancer.. I was 15 at the time... Yes I was torn when she passed, but it wasn't like her death was a surprise. Six months before, my mom was incapable of moving that we sort of lived living without her help. I live with 3 other guys in the house and although none of us really get along, we tried our best to be happy in my mothers eyes; for its wat she wanted. Many people now see me and have always asked me if I'm doing fine; I tell them I am and they think Im lying or some crap like that. It's as if because I don't cry when they talk about her, I'm tryin to say to others that I really dont think she died at all or that im hidin all my true feelings.. I dont cry, one because in my house of men, there really never was reason to. Two, because me as an individual, I don't feel like emotion should overcome a certain situation.
Anyway, wat should I do to let others know.. I'm FINE.
2007-09-27 03:24:45 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Are you really doing fine or are you hiding your feelings. If people are making you feel uncomfortable just tell them you do not like talking about the situation. If you really are fine just tell them you have dealt with the fact your mom has passed and you have accepted life the way it is now.
2007-09-27 03:27:39 · answer #1 · answered by LOVELY LADY 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, thats just a question your bound to come across, she was your mother for Gods sake!!! me if i were to loose my mother God forbid ) I would be torn to pieces!!! if i were to lose anyone of my immediate family members i would just lose my mind!!! although life does go on and everyone is entitled to show their emotions their own individual way.. So, more power to you if this is how you show yours. No one has the right to judge you. I think that it shouldnt bother you when they ask, they are simply concerned. within time they will eventually ease on the ?'s. and accept that you are doing fine, and the way you show your emotions is different than they do, but hey to each his own. Meanwhile, i guess they expected you to have a breakdown, (like i probably would) but i have a cousin n a similar situation who happens to be pregnant and lost her mother to cancer, back in march, and she didnt cry, or anything, at least not in front of us, and its strange, but hey, maybe it hasnt hit her yet, or maybe she deals with it privately, whatever floats her boat. as well as yours. You deal with your problems your way, and do what makes you happy, im sorry for the loss of your mother, and i hope things get better for you, the way you would like them to.
Good luck!!! N best wishes!!!
2007-09-27 11:29:05 · answer #2 · answered by I DONT CARE 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think people are probably concerned because you are only 15 and without a female role model in your life... but if you have gotten throught he grieving process, then let people know "yes i miss my mother, but i have gotten through my grieving and am moving forward with my life" (or something similar). Because that is really what you seem to be doing, hon.
I don't think you are lying... no. My mother died too, and although i miss her, i have been able to move forward with life.
I'm glad you're doing ok right now. Take care!
and P.S.... i'm sorry for your loss, but glad to hear you have adjusted.
2007-09-27 10:30:36 · answer #3 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just continue to tell them you are fine. They will soon stop asking and since you don't show any emotion they should just let it be. However, people to act like everything is fine when it really is not. If you really aren't, but don't want people to know, you need to see a therapist or counselor to help yourself before depression hits. Take care and I'm sorry for your lose.
2007-09-27 10:32:02 · answer #4 · answered by Butterfly 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm glad you're doing fine. Some people can only imagine how they would feel in a situation like that. They're being empathetic and just want to show that they're there for you. They only thing I could think of is just keep telling them you're okay. Eventually, they'll stop asking.
Just wondering if there is anything else that you could be doing to make them think you're not?
2007-09-27 10:30:55 · answer #5 · answered by Phoenix 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do something they may think is a "therapy" to deal with her passing. Tell them you are writing a book about her.
If the writing part of it is tedious, get those friends that bug you to write their experiences to be included in the book. That will keep them busy. If they bug you more, ask for more stories from them.
After collating enough anecdotes, write a preface that thanks the contributors and burn them a CD each.
They now have proof you have delt with it, but you got them to do all the work.
2007-09-27 10:53:08 · answer #6 · answered by wizebloke 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have met this problem myself. My answer is, "Yes, I find that I can cope very well until someone asks me how I am doing." That usually ends the conversation.
2007-09-27 10:39:35 · answer #7 · answered by jcf6865 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Remember one golden principal- If you weep you weep alone and if youn laugh the people laugh with you.
2007-09-27 10:33:12 · answer #8 · answered by jittender k 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
THE BEST THING YOU CAN DO IS JUST THEM AND SHOW THEM BY GOING ON WITH LIFE. I AM PRETTY SURE THEY ARE JUST BEING CONCERNED, BUT IF YOU ARE TIRED OF THEM ASKING THEN TELL THEM YOU WOULD LIKE IT IF THEY DID NOT ASK YOU ANY MORE. GOOD LUCK.
2007-09-27 10:29:30 · answer #9 · answered by CNT 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
change the town...lol...
well am sorry but its soo natural people are concerned abt U...why shud that offend U....when asked just tell them U r fine and that shud be it...
2007-09-27 10:28:47 · answer #10 · answered by dimple 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋