How do you suppose that we enforce rules and responsibility without being able to spank or yell at a child. Time out, grounding,take things away, not buying them things that they want? Come on these thing don't really work? at least not in my opinion. But then we all gripe about the kids getting worse in this day and time! Whats wrong with a butt woopin' every once in a while (ages 4-11)? What are we supposed to do after this age? CPS says we cant spank or yell at them. But when they dont stay in the room, walk out, laugh in your face, and do what ever the hell they want to do. What can we do as parents in this situation? what do ya'll think?
2007-09-27 03:06:27 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I think that being a parent now is harder than it was 20 years ago. Now people tend to think that every child who gets spanked is being abused. Time Outs do NOT work for every child, sometimes only a spanking will. I spank my child, but only in a situation where the choice they made was dangerous. I do not abuse my child, there is a very big difference between them. But at the same time, I spend a LOT of time with my children, they know they are invaluable to me, and I fully respect them at the individuals they are. They are completely different personalities though. One will stop doing something just because I ask her to. One has to lose privileges, and the third doesn't care what I take away, so he occasionally gets spanked. They are all raised exactly the same. To raise a kid right, you have to instill it in them from the beginning. If they don't respect you when they are young, it will only get worse.
What annoys the crap out of me is those moms who dress and act like their teenage daughters and try so hard to be liked by them. Then they turn around and complain because those same daughters have no respect for them or their rules. Being a parent does not mean that your child has to LIKE you all the time. But they will love you always, and respect you and thank you for guiding them later.
2007-09-27 03:20:43 · answer #1 · answered by Kelly C 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I don't think a spanking works every time... no... sometimes yes... once my son raised his hand to me, and my husband spanked him.. well, my son was SOOOO embarrassed (LOL) because he was never really spanked... but i guess my husband decided it was time to spank him anyway....
what i used to do with my kids was -- if they did something wrong, we would sit at the kitchen table and talk about whatever it was that they did. If i was really upset at the time, i'd go outside or into another room for a bit and blow off steam first... anyway, I'd ask them if they realized what they did was wrong and what they planned to do in order to avoid the misbahavior again? I'd also ask them how they felt about it. I think this was a fate worse than spanking. I didnt yell and scream, either.
At that time, i'd decide on a punishment, but i didn't ground them forever, or take things away forever, just for a few days at the time, and i was consistent and stuck to my guns. or i'd tell them they weren't allowed to do things with friends for a week or so... whatever worked.
My kids were also expected to help around home. If they failed to do what they were supposed to do (which wasnt a lot), then they didn't get privileges. it was simple as that.
I also expected my kids to pay part of their car insurance when they learned to drive... so they had to get a part time job. Even if it was only $30 a month, it seemed to have taught them some responsibility.
another thing i did with my kids was to let them know i made mistakes, too and i admitted my mistakes to them... parents really NEED to present themselves as human, not some super hero who thinks they are perfect.
being "friends" with kids? well, we can do things with our kids, give advice when asked, encourage them and be supportive... i think a good parent is also a good friend to their child... and does things with and for them.. spending quality time...
buying a child instead of spending time with them isn't right. some families can afford the "gadgets" and some can't. but regardless of the income, i see there are a lot of parents out there who neglect the emotional needs of their kids.
that's my best answer.
2007-09-27 03:26:21 · answer #2 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Children are a result of their upbringing. Humans are habitual animals and they learn from what they see. With that being said, it is also said that humans learn over half of what they will ever know before they are 5 yrs old. So, I would come to the conclusion that those first 5 yrs will have a major impact on their lives.
What do they see everyone around them act like before they are 5? What kinds of examples do the parents play when they think their babies arent paying or are too young to pay attention. After they are 5 yrs old its too late. if you didnt do the RIGHT THING when they were young, then what more can be said, except that
They are a product of their upbringing.
Parenthood starts before they are born!!!!! Not in their teen years
2007-09-27 03:31:18 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I was never spanked by my father nor yelled, or belittled. Yet I turned out perfectly fine. I own my own home, never have been in trouble ect.. My father was my friend and I trusted him more than my mother who yelled and belittled me. I also considered my father more of a man and an adult, and have no respect for people who are adults, by age only, that spanked and act more like children. To me the people who does that type of"discipline" and treat their children like property-are lazy and don't want to be parents-real parents.
2007-09-27 05:14:11 · answer #4 · answered by Autumn S 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
its all in your own judgement!!
Damn what cps thinks!!! im NOT saying to go out and beat your child to death. Or keep them in a closet eating poop and endin up on tv. but you use your own judgement on how to discipline your kids, I personally dont want to spank my daughter when she gets older, but she's only 5 months now, i have years to change my mind, i see her as my little ange right now and that she can never make me angry, but i know that will change, because she will become a kid and kids always get into things and test your last nerve!!! but i refuse to be one of those parents whose kids run all over them and i really really hate to hear a kid telling a parent ' get out of my room!!!" you little rugrat, this is my house!! my roof, i pay the damn bills hepher!!! so go by my rules, and if you dont like it than tough!! (id never say get out) so i just say "tough". but yeah i get what your saying, its just different nowadays, teenagers especially have no respect for their parents, and thats cause parents had their kids at such a young age, they are still growing up themselves, and try to be young and cool and as you said, their friends, well a kid doesnt need that **** man, yeah there should be a line drawn from where the parent plays the 'friend' role, a child should feel comfortable enough to come tlk to their parent about little problems in school. But a parent should not preach against what they themselves did as a younger person, ESPECIALLY when they are preaching what they themselves did, b/c that makes them a hipocryte, and we already know when we are told to not do something we are going to go do it simply b/c of the fact that we were told not to.
2007-09-27 04:48:37 · answer #5 · answered by I DONT CARE 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that is why the world is sooo scarey today! I don't think that spankings work for each child but for some just one spanking can set them on the right track, SOO yea I agree that the law's and the ABUSERS have made it rough on us parents that want to teach our chidren how to live a good life.
2007-09-27 03:14:31 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
A parent is a parent They are not meant to be your buddy or your best friend They are meant to teach right from wrong enforce rules and regulations curfews teach manners teach morals they are there to keep you safe from drugs alchol and people you should not know or be around They should be there to listen too console you laugh with you cry with you and for you teach you to ride a bike interview your friends ask and care what where why when when you walk out the door
2007-09-27 03:22:39 · answer #7 · answered by chameleon 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
After the age 11 its difficult to discipline children but not impossible.Actually in this fast life we don,t have much time for them.try to find out their interests and give them company in that even if you don,t like it or think it a foolish idea but try it once .u will come up with good results.Actually you can not rule any one by force but winning ones heart and gaining respect as well.
2007-09-27 03:19:56 · answer #8 · answered by Tehseen B 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Amen, sister...spare the rod, spoil the child. The time to become a buddy with a child is in the later teen years or early adulthood.
2007-09-27 03:10:26 · answer #9 · answered by ~ Floridian`` 7 · 4⤊ 1⤋
I think you're an ignorant, power-hungry complainer who sees children as an opportunity to express rage and pass on the violence you received as a child.
Why, oh why, do people have the antagonistic , us vs. them, tyrannical attitude that you demonstrate? It's awful.
Why not actually behave toward your children as though you LIKED them, and respected them as human beings? Wow, what a concept!
2007-09-27 03:11:25 · answer #10 · answered by Matthew O 5 · 2⤊ 2⤋