when is it TOO MUCH and when does it cross over from pretty to tacky?

Question

my friend is getting married and her colors are turquoise,white and bronze...the colors are very shimmery(even the white..very pretty) as far as decor goes..she wants candles or lights that give the illusion of flickering candles cuz it will look good with the fabrics and matching decorations color wise but where do YOU personally draw the line between decor thats beautiful and color coordinated to way to much going on, tacky, too matchy matchy?

also she has an idea the place she wants to have the reception..does the staff at the place do the decorating or does she hire someone seperate to do that? its in a ballroom of a country club

another question..is it ok for her to hire an outside caterer even though the country club has a kitchen staff that usually does functions? she comes from a large puerto rican family and she wants some of the food to be very culture oriented and wants someone else to do it other than the C.C staff

how do i sound jealous? im her MOH and am busting my behind for this. she wants everything to be the same color scheme but also doesnt want it to be sooooo color coordinated that it looks tacky and over the top..i am not jealous in the least bit!

she hasnt hired anything or anyone yet..shes just going around getting an idea so she sees where she can splurge and where she has to keep a tight budget so she wont lose any money

I AM NOT CALLING HER OR THE WEDDING TACKY!! all i asked was IN YOUR OPINION when does it cross the line into tacky territory thats all...all we have is her colors and an idea about the food and some decorations she wants..the wedding isnt for another year. if i thought she or the wedding was tacky i wouldnt be in it

Answer 1

It sounds like she is on the right track with the color choices. Using those colors wherever possible in the room will help to create a cohesive look. I think you will know if too much is going on, if you walk in the room and the color jumps out at you and slaps you in the face! Lets say the tablecloths and chairs are all turqoise- now thats too much. But lets say the tablecloths and chairs are white, with turquoise napkins and turquoise&bronze centerpieces- now that would look very classy. You want to look around the room and see bursts of color, not have everything covered in it.
As for the decorating, you will have to talk to the Country Club since each operates differently. It might also depend on how involved (man hours needed) it is, so she should let them know specifically what she wants done.
In my experience, most place which have a kitchen do not allow outside catering, but you never know unless you ask!

Answer 2

Hi. You must be a real good friend!! I will address the "color" situation in a minute.....

But, your friend can get all the answers to her questions by simply calling the Country Club.

USUALLY.....no, they do not do the decorating. Some places may put out your favors (let say you had little bags of mints to set at each place), they probably would do that. But, no, they will not set anything up. She probably will need to hire that out. But, have her call and ask! That is the easiest way to get your answer.

Same things goes with the food. And I can be 100% positive on this....she will NOT be able to bring in an outside caterer. That is how these places make their money. Again, have her simply call the country club and ask.

Colors: Yes, my opinion is that brides go a little overboard with being too matchy matchy....but, there is nothing wrong with her idea of candles. That would be elegant!

Hope this answered some of your questions. Good luck!

Answer 3

Honestly, having a color scheme is a great way to begin wedding planning. Everything you choose will need to be based upon on some sort of theme and colors are a big part of that. Having a color scheme does not make things tacky but the choice of favors, reception decor etc. can make it so. It just depends.

If the club is providing the linens or chair ties, then they will do that part. BUT if she is, again, getting outside linens then she may need to hire someone to do that. It just depends on the venue she's chosen.

Every venue is different when it comes to what will be allowed. She needs to take a look at the contract. Typically, venues with a full staff, like a country club, do not allow for outside caterers to come in. And if they do, there might be a hefty fee. The person she needs to talk to is the one helping her to coordinate her event at the club.

Answer 4

If she has already hired the venue she should have asked these questions. If they don't do those things and she has to have them (ie go somewhere else) she might not get her deposit back.
On the positive side they are usually quite flexable. Perhaps she should think about having a trial of the foods she wants made by the country club kitchen to see if they can make then as she likes it. Or she can just ask if they allow outside catering and whether decorating is included.
As or the matching I don't see the problem. The idea of the colour theme is that the colours match. Get her to use more of the white with turquoise and bronze only used as highlights.

Answer 5

I am not much of a decorator, so I can't help on that. But typically, it's best to keep it simple.

As for decorating, you have to work that out with the venue. Typically, you do your own decorating. For ours, we had to go in the night before - - after midnight cuz they were using the room - - and decorate it ourselves. SO you want to find out WHEN you can decorate. If it's too elaborate, then you won't have enough time to do it all.

As for food, any place that has a kitchen is most likely NOT going to allow outside food other than the cake. If you have requests, see if they can make it for you.

And FWIW - I didn't think you sounded jealous. That was a weird interpretation. People on here can be so judgmental and petty sometimes.

Answer 6

I think the colors sound just lovely. I don't think it sounds too overdone at all. I think asking the guests to dress in those colors would be too much, but other than that, it should be fine...

About the food, it is highly unlikely the CC will allow any outside catering. They can possibly prepare some dishes that she'd want, but bringing in outside food probably won't fly. Usually, the bride's representative (meaning family, wedding planners, etc) will do the decorating. If she has floral centerpieces, the florist will set that up.

Answer 7

It's her wedding, she can do what she wants and can afford, as far as dresses, decor, etc go. This sounds like a cultural thing to me, but I wasn't raised Puerto Rican, so I don't know what's tacky or accepted by that culture. You and I and the limo driver might think it's tacky, but it's not up to any of us.

She's a friend - let her be herself. If it bothers you, you can ask "Is that a little too much?", but only one time. If it REALLY bothers you, make an excuse that you can't be in the wedding party if she asks.

As to the decorating and catering, that's between her and the hall, and she needs to ask the hall management about that early on, so she can plan accordingly.

Answer 8

too much----if you get to the point where you look around and you think ..... hmmm, is this too much?---then it is and take some stuff down. my recommendation is to focus mainly on the white and use the turquoise and gold as accent colors.
white linens, white flowers, etc, but have the blue and gold as accents, like maybe white table clothes, but gold or blue napkins....use them as accents in the centerpeices....
less is more. those are some bold colors that shouldn't be in large amounts anywhere.....maybe most of the table cloths could be white with 1-2 blue or gold...just to add a splash of color.

as for the caterers...she needs to discuss that with the club. some may allow caterers and some may not.

decorations may be done by the club staff or the florist....OR extra stuff may need to be done by you or someone else before the ceremony....these are things that depend on what the venue offers.

hope this helps....and i don't think you sound jealous at all:)

Answer 9

Ok, the first question is completely a matter of taste and not something you should particularly be worried with. It's up to the bride to have what she wants, if you are friends like I am with my bff then once you get to the point you feel it's over the top you can bring it up, but again it's all about perception.
She will have to ask the country club if they do the decorations of if someone needs to come in and do it.
Some places allow outside catering, some do not, again she will have to ask the facility manager what is allowed.

Answer 10

It's her wedding so she can do what she wants but if it's that bad, she might look back in five years and be like "Damn, what was I thinking?"lol. Other than that, you really can't do anything if something is way tacky maybe you can drop a little gentle hint like "Hmm that's bright, you wouldn't want to draw attention from yourself on your day would you?" But really, it's her wedding and she or her family is paying for it.

As far as the food if that were me for example, I wouldn't want some country club people cooking soul food! It just wouldn't be authentic. Puerto Rican food is a special tradition to her so I'm sure she wants Puerto Rican cooks who know how to cook the food because it is also a tradition to them.
Just be a friend and support her on her day. Also be careful who you talk to about your feelings because things have a funny way of getting back to people and she would really be hurt if she knew you talked about how "tacky" you think her wedding will be.