My wife works and she is workaholic. She had miscarriage for 3 times because of work. Finally blessed with baby girl, I wanted her to take care of the kid and enjoy at home. I have hired a care taker, cook, maid etc. She wants to continue work. She does not tell me reason why she need to go for work, upon insisting she said she need to work for financial stability, That was not problem for us. Then she said she need friends I said for that reason she need not spend long hours in office. She likes work and she enjoys it. She wants to send my daughter to my in-laws place which I don’t like because we need time to spend time with our daughter. We are having difference of opinion. I focus on personal relation and happiness, she focuses on work. How do I convince her?
2007-09-27 02:46:47 · 11 answers · asked by Friend 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
women all over the world want to have carrers and want to work ...it not only keeps them away from the home pressures but makes both the spouses spend time away from each other and helps build a helathy marriage.......it is important to have friends outside of your marriage.......it is just healthy....but when it comes to the child carrer must be put on hold of course there are so many women today who don't want to hold back themselves because of a child as they too invest alot of time and energy in their work and to come up.......ur wife is one of those hard headed carrer women..... she will not give in easily for the child maybe for her work is important.....but the child will suffer....u need to make her understand that she needs to juggle between the two....because u want both of them in ur life and ur kid too is important ....u need to make her feel that her carrier is importantto u too and she need not totally leave it but she atleast needs to give her child the attention he deserves....tell her u will help her bring up the kid and it will not be her sole responsibility...choose an appropriate time to have such a discussion.....show her that u care for her and need her support....don't fight understand her point of view also listen to what she has to say....also i would advise u to c if she is having an affir with someone in her office.....it is a little unlikely but there is no hrm in checking it out....all the best to u!!!!!
2007-09-27 05:15:07 · answer #1 · answered by sasha 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's not a big thing and also it's not sure that your thinking should be like your partner. You don't want money, want relation, where she want money, career, friends.
I think she should understand this because she find baby after 3 miscarriage and she is very important for both of you but may be she is confident about her parents that they can take her care well just like her, after all they are her parents and your in laws, you can think wrong but she can't.
Just give her time to realize that nobody else can child care well than mother. Just suggest her that when she is at work to instruct her go and see child as you feel bad today in positive way. Give her some time instead of fighting with each other. See some movies together which shows motherhood, greatness of mother, sacrifices for child etc. Be cool it necessary for both of you child is a strong bond between both of you not a reason of fight ok.
All the best for your work and pray to God for your success.
2007-09-27 18:45:01 · answer #2 · answered by MEENA M 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You really can't change your wife... apparently, she feels fulfilled with her career, and it's part of her life which is important.
You could ask her if she'd take out family time a couple times a week or so? Plan an evening and a weekend day for that maybe? See what she says.
Tell her how you feel about family time. I think that's the best you can do. take care.
2007-09-27 02:55:06 · answer #3 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your wife needs to work for financial stability. Let her do what she is good at. Get a maid to take care of baby.
2007-09-27 02:51:00 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You need to look into her past and especially her growing up.
I read a very interesting book called "The father factor". It is about how our father affect us in the workplace but I think it is more than that. Not enough space to explain here but it is a very interesting read.
Ask her to read it. Maybe she would find some insights there an shy is so attached to work.
Good Luck
2007-09-27 02:52:18 · answer #5 · answered by Dimitar A 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
why dont you quit work and take care of the baby. if you are financially stable or can be on her salary, take off of work. she probably wants her independence and doesnt want to lose it even if it means having someone else take care of her kids. it is good she is determined but because of your difference of experience i would just quit my job and provide the love for my child i feel they need.
2007-09-27 20:33:55 · answer #6 · answered by mayami 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't. She has told you how she feels, and you probably knew this before the baby was born. You will just have to make the best of it and give all the attention you can to your child. Good luck.
2007-09-27 02:50:55 · answer #7 · answered by NAN G 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Since she loves work, maybe you can't convince her.
Have you considered staying home with your daughter?
You say "we need time to spend time with our daughter" but you seem to mean "SHE needs to spend time with her daughter."
As I say, if she loves working, then you probably can't convince her to give it up.
2007-09-27 05:38:15 · answer #8 · answered by tehabwa 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell her how you feel and that you think she's ruining your relationship and parenting.
Workaholics are too hard to let go their work.
Bottom line: Tell her you love her, you need her, and so does your baby girl.
2007-09-27 02:59:19 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
talk to her & tell her to choice you & your kid or the work
she need to know that family is very important than work
2007-09-27 03:46:52 · answer #10 · answered by maya 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋