I have accepted an invitation to my very good friends wedding .... in scotland .... it is a fairly big event spanning 5 days ..... At the time I didnt have a girlfriend .... but I do now .... and assumed it would be alright for her to come along with me .... But the bride is getting a bit worked up about not knowing her .... and apparently there isnt enough room to add one more person for the Reception meal .....
I came up with several alternatives like we would just go to the church and then to the drinks and canapes afterwards and not the wedding dinner ..... but it just seems like the bride doesnt even want my g/f to go to that either ......
I am caught in a real situation bearing in mind I told my g/f it would be fine and bought her two dresses for the wedding ..... I am thinking of not going at all if they are not even prepared to to see her on any level .....
I just need a really nice good way of saying that I cant now make it ..... preferably without offending anyone.
2007-09-26 23:57:20 · 34 answers · asked by Fox Hunter 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Firstly I was originally invited with my EX...... who I am no longer with and is not going .... Also I had offered to not go for the dinner ..... if there was not enough room .... and we were going to have a night on the town in Edinburgh on saturday .... which it would appear my g/f is not invited to either ....
I understand it is her big day ..... How ever it is costing me close to £2000 getting there with flights and accomodation. Not to mention it is at the other end of the country ........
So you believe I should go to a wedding that the bride completely snubbs my g/f ......
I have been to hundreds of weddings ..... If accomodation was a problem she could share a single bed with me .... or we stay in Edinburgh and drive to the wedding ..... if space at the Wedding Dinner was a problem .... we would eat else where ......
There is no reason other than the bride does not want my g/f there ..... which i find completely unreasonable .....
2007-09-27 00:44:10 · update #1
Just tell her that if your girlfriend isn't welcome then you won't be able to attend. It's not right saying she can't come just because she doesn't 'know' her. How is she ever going to get to know her. It's annoying that people think your privileged just because you've had a wedding invite! They forget how much it costs you to flipping go.I assume that it's your friend who is the groom...Can't he talk her round?
You could just be cheeky and take her to the church and the drinks afterwards ;)
2007-09-27 05:05:51 · answer #1 · answered by ¸.•*¨) Inked Barbie ¸.•*¨) 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Ok, if you already RSVP'd with a date, your ex who is now no longer attending. I dont see why you cannot fill her void with current girlfriend. I would call the bride one more time and say something along the lines of, "Hey, So N So Bride, I RSVP'd as two people when So n So ex gf was coming with me. Therefore you already have a plate and a seat for my date. However, So n So ex is no longer attending but New girlfriend is. It would mean a lot to me to be able to bring New Girlfriend, I hope that you would understand this! "
If So N So Bride doesn't agree with that then you have a decision to make. Is it worth it to you to skip out on a very good firends wedding just because New Girlfriend cannot go? If you RSVP'd to this wedding with the ex then you cannot have been dating new girlfriend for very long. I would imagine that you could live at this wedding event solo.
2007-09-27 07:51:04 · answer #2 · answered by maedaze810 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Since the invitation included you bringing someone, there should not be a problem with the sitting arrangement.
Also since the bride refuses to even let the new girlfriend attend the wedding and skip the reception, it sounds like she is objecting to the new girlfriend personally (or the fact that she is not the old girlfriend at least.)
You basically have 2 options (lying should not be included).
One is to go with the girlfriend and you attend the wedding alone and make the best of the rest of the trip together.
Second is to take the trip and let your friend know that you will not be at the wedding due to the bride's refusal to allow your friend to attend. Don't make a big issue of it, just make it simple.
2007-09-27 03:41:01 · answer #3 · answered by msbettyboop40 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like the bride was possibly friends with your ex and is maybe so headstrong because they're friends and you two aren't together anymore or something because all the excuses that she has for why your girlfriend can't come are ridiculous to say the least. Wedding are stressful, but there shouldn't be a problem if your ex was already invited, there was room for another, so it's just a different person and if this friend who's getting married is such a good friend of yours to begin with, then there should be no problem. I would just be honest about what you're feeling. Explain everything to your friend that you've explained here. They should understand.
2007-09-27 02:40:28 · answer #4 · answered by dessertrecipesqueen 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honesty is the best policy, if you really don't want to go. Speak to the bride and tell her that you don't feel comfortable about going without your girlfriend. It unusual for a bride to send out an invitation to a single person , it usually states and guest / friend. However how long have you had a girlfriend? If the relationship is very new, is it worth losing a good friend over. Explain to your girlfriend and just go for the main part and don't stay for the 5 days.
2007-09-27 00:09:25 · answer #5 · answered by Dory 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Don't complicate matters, if as you say these soon to be married folk are your friends and pressumably you have known them longer than your g/f you should go to the wedding to support them. You're not joined at the hip to your g/f and the wedding arrangements were made before she came on the scene.You surely don't have to stay for 5days.... longest wedding celeb ever me thinks! Go, enjoy, comeback. Not the end of the world if g/f doesn't attend,sounds like she would feel uncomfortable if she went. Then, you take her out to the races so she can wear the fab dresses you bought for her :-) Moral of the story, don't ever assume, check first. They'll know if you cancel the reason behind it and you've got to live with that. G/fs come and go, good friends are always there, anyway this isn't about you or the g/f it,s the friends day, you've been invited to be part of it, so enjoy! Then don't invite them to your wedding if you marry the g/f...tee hee
2007-09-27 00:25:01 · answer #6 · answered by syberbird 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
that's a tough one really; I can see both sides, although you gave the bride a reasonable compromise by saying you would skip the dinner and just go to the drinks and canapes part......
of course, you did accept the invitation single; the bride is not going to believe any excuse you give at this point, seeing has you have already told her you want to bring your g/f.
Why don't you just go to the wedding and skip the 5 days of events.....that would mean just 1 day and you can take your g/f out on a couple of wonderful dates where she can wear her new dresses instead. Then everyone is happy......
2007-09-27 00:04:35 · answer #7 · answered by abc 7 · 6⤊ 0⤋
I think you should still go. Bring along your girlfriend but have her do other things for a few hours while you are at the ceremony/reception. Stay at the reception long enough to say thank you and grab a bite to eat, then excuse yourself and spend the rest of the time with your g/f.
Don't bring her to the ceremony or reception.
The bride and groom have every right to not let you bring your g/f to their day. Not only do they not know her, but she is apparently a fairly new girlfriend. Usually only fiance's or spouses get an automatic invite.
How would you feel if you did not go, found out it was a great time, then you and your g/f broke up?
Go.
2007-09-27 05:56:06 · answer #8 · answered by Terri 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Why would you assume that wedding guests are free to bring guests of their own, to entertain at your hosts' expense? You wouldn't dream of doing this at a dinner party (one hopes), and isn't a wedding reception a dinner party with dancing? Your hosts are being kind in telling you "We'd love to meet your new sweetheart some other time, but this occasionion is only for people we actually know and care about." A less mannerly host might give you a frank "Of course not. What a silly idea and rude request."
Tell your GF the truth. (1) You allowed your wishful thinking to run away with you and lead you extend her invitation that isn't yours to extend. You might bring flowers and candy to acknowledge that you are somewhat "in the doghouse." (2) A previous commitment must be honored, therefore you are going to attend your good friend's wedding, even tho you must unhappily do so without her sweet presence. (3) It is up to you whether to bring your sweetheart to Scotland with you. I'm sure you can arrange some entertainment for her on the day you will occupied with the wedding. (4) Take her somewhere to show off her new dresses, whether at home or in Scotland.
2007-09-27 00:25:33 · answer #9 · answered by kill_yr_television 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I think you are arrogant and pushy. If you can't go to a wedding for your friend without this girl then you have problems. Why would the bride want this person there, especially when you have been so unreasonable about it. I don't see you paying for her meal at the reception, the bride and groom will. Get over yourself. You are not a friend if you miss the wedding over this. If I were them I would be done with you after all of this.
2007-09-27 01:33:49 · answer #10 · answered by Luv2Answer 7 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I am afraid I am going to have to side with the bride on this one, it is her "big day" and she is intitled to say who will or won't be coming. After all, it is her wedding day, probably the most important day of her life. You don't mention how long you have been with your girlfriend? Is it quite a new relationship? If so, then I would explain the situation to your gf and go to the wedding alone, after all, you say at the beginning of your question that it is your very good friend, and if things don't work out between you and your gf, you will regret missing your good friend's wedding day.
If on the other hand you really feel you can't go without your girlfriend, I would come up with an excuse like "I have got jury service" and can't get out of it for love or money!!!! - good luck
2007-09-27 00:08:50 · answer #11 · answered by MissEssex 5 · 5⤊ 1⤋