Í want to be social and I want to know how to approach a person ,how to talk and avoid taking things personally
2007-09-26 22:12:16 · 7 answers · asked by Rohini N 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You need a job or activity. When I have a party, I ask the person who doesn't know anyone to flip burgers on the grill. That is the ideal opportunity for them to have small interactions with a lot of people. You need to do something similar. It's a lot easier to meet people when you have a task. Find an organization that needs volunteers or take a class. Not a college class, but a class put on by a gardening group or a writing group or something like that. Preferalbly something with multiple sessions. It's okay to be the person who doesn't say much until the fifth or sixth meeting. Just keep going.
As for the taking things personally, I'd get a therapist to help deal with that one. A therapist doesn't have to be someone to help deal with deep personal crises. Think of them more as a life coach offering helpful pointers and giving insights into yourself.
Have a plan for what you are going to do if something says something that bothers you. For example, you'll smile slightly, go get a drink of water, and think of something sweet your child has done recently or something else that gives you pleasure. Then you will focus attention back on your work for a while. A therapist can help you sort out to what extent your reaction was justified, to what extent it was an over-reaction and what to do about either.
Also, realize you are being brave for your child. You want to set a good example. My mother--I have now learned--is terribly afraid of spiders. But I did not learn this until I was an adult because she did not want to pass the fear along to me. We can often do things for our kids that we have difficulty doing just for ourselves.
Search the web for "[your town] volunteer opportunities" or "[your town] gardening glasses", etc.
2007-09-26 22:34:46 · answer #1 · answered by Millie M 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If your small circle is made up of good friends then don't worry about it. Good friends are more important than many friends. If you circle of friends consist of your mother, brother, and cat, then you need to expand your horizons a little bit.
First understand who you are. What do you like, what do you like to do, etc. Then go out and do them. You'll meet people with similar interests, you'll have easy conversations because you'll have something in common. The conversations should get easier as you get some practice and clarify your own thoughts and learn to express them. As far as avoiding taking things personal, everything is personal and nothing is personal. There are a lot of thoughtless people in the world. There are a lot of people who talk without thinking, there are some who are just mean and look to hurt other people. The more comfortable you become with yourself and who you are, the less what other people say to you will matter. Be a good person and hold your head high, the rest should fall into place.
2007-09-27 05:28:18 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you are shy and sensitive. It might be easier for you to meet people if you get involved with groups that share your interests like a hiking club, church group, or whatever you're into. That way you'll be more focused on the activity and not so worried about how you look or what you say.
2007-09-27 05:22:31 · answer #3 · answered by Wintergirl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It will really depend on your mental ability to communicate. You see, communicating with a person depends on his or her own knowledge of things. If you are a wide reader, you should be able to talk about several topics which would make you comfortable in talking to people. Unless you have a good knowledge of what you are talking about, it would be difficult to make a conversation fruitful. I suggest you stay friendly and smile a lot. This way you will attract people to converse with you.
2007-09-27 05:21:41 · answer #4 · answered by Reycen 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Grab lunch, find an attractive girl sitting at a table that doesn't look busy (Not on a cell phone, if she's reading something it's fine then) and ask if you could sit there. Most likely, she won't say no then get to know her better. That's it.
2007-09-27 05:16:39 · answer #5 · answered by Class 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no need to be self-conscious. Believe me, you are probably your worst critic. Besides, who cares what others think. No one else has the right to judge you. We are supposed to be individuals. That is what makes the world so interesting.
2007-09-27 05:17:42 · answer #6 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
live and dont allow things people to stick to you allow them to roll of your shoulder
2007-09-27 05:17:11 · answer #7 · answered by mother love 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋