One day two very loving parents got into a huge fight, the man called the women a "b**ch" and the women called the man a "b***ard".
Their son walked in and said "What does b**ch and b***ard mean?" and the parents replied "ladies and gentlemen".
The next day the parents decided to have s*x, the women said "feel my t**ties" and the man said "feel my d**k".
Their son walked in and asked "What does ti**ies and d**k mean?" and the parents replied "hats and coats".
On Thanksgiving the dad was shaving and he cut himself, "Sh*t" he said, the kid came in and asked "What's that mean" and the man said it was the brand shaving cream he was using.
Down stairs the mom was preparing the turkey, and she cut herself, "F**k" she said. Once again the kid asked "What's that mean" the mom said that is what she calls stuffing the turkey.
2007-09-26 21:57:21 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Then the door bell rang. The kid answered the door to his relatives and said "Alright you b**ches and ba**ards, put your d*cks and t**ties in the closet, my dad is upstairs wiping the sh*t off his face, and my mom is in the kitchen f**king the turkey!
2007-09-26 21:58:16 · update #1
hahaha
your asking for trouble now......................
2007-09-27 01:35:43 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you care about him and trust him, then you should talk to him about it. Let him know that you need to try new things, or do things differently. Not that I know much about your sex life, but as Jamie and Adam from Mythbusters always say, "when in doubt, lube it!" For five bucks at K-Mart you can get a pretty sizable bottle of water-based lubricant, which does the job when my boyfriend and I need a little more moisture. And if you're looking for something more sexy than petroleum-smelling jelly, then there's always astroglide, or flavoured lubricants at certain specialty stores. As for being more turned on by porn, I would say that it's neither good nor bad. Some people really get turned on by watching other people going at it. Not that I'm licensed to prescribe such things, but if you're interested, you should see if your boyfriend would be willing to watch porn with you. It might be a nice bedroom activity to help you two get where you want to be. Some couples get off by emulating porn and what the porn stars do, and some voyeurs like it when they watch other people or are being watched. I'm not saying that any one of those options is right for you, simply that you should consider trying something different if the same old-same old isn't working. After all, Einstein said that insanity is trying the same thing over and over and expecting different results. Good luck and I hope this helps.
2016-04-06 03:18:50 · answer #2 · answered by Marie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Predictable.
2007-09-26 22:37:07 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thats good.
2007-09-26 22:04:25 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
okay, everybody - got the lecture?!
never tell your kids such a darn sheet!
*rofl*
2007-09-27 01:00:44 · answer #5 · answered by Nova 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hahahahaha I love it.
2007-09-26 22:00:26 · answer #6 · answered by **** 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hahaha thats pretty funny
2007-09-26 22:32:01 · answer #7 · answered by dan123 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Excellent ones. lol
2007-09-26 22:10:16 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
funny
2007-09-26 22:47:58 · answer #9 · answered by blackcat XIII 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Awesome!! I just can't stop laughing at this one!!!
2007-09-26 22:04:02 · answer #10 · answered by nice_libra_guy 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sooo funny, loved it
2007-09-26 22:06:05 · answer #11 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋