If you child can home from their other parents house in underwear that reaks of stale urine and/or has chunks of feces stuck to the inside and outside, would you consider that neglect? Or very poor parenting skills? The child in question is 7 years old, and has been potty trained for well over 3 years.
2007-09-26 21:18:49 · 13 answers · asked by usmcbrat0 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
The child has a disorder that results in short limbed dwarfism and is unable to reach her butt to wipe it properly.
Sorry, forgot to add this information.
2007-09-26 21:24:28 · update #1
The disorder that causes the short limbed dwarfism also causes developmental delays.
2007-09-26 21:25:50 · update #2
This has been going on for quite a while now, over a year. I've tried to talk to the other parent, but I get ignored. It's the fact that the other parent doesn't see a problem with it that leads me to the neglect... But, it very well may be just bad parenting skills.
I don't want to cause problems for the other parent, yet I know it is unhealthy for a child to sit in underwear that is so filthy.
3 years ago there was a problem with the child coming home in such a state, that it actually looked like she had possibly been abused. We went to the hospital the next morning, and it was found that it was poor hygiene problems that caused the redness and swollen parts.
I don't want to resort to calling CPS. I don't think it would be necessary... I will again try and speak to the other parent and let them know what I have found.
2007-09-27 04:46:32 · update #3
Given the special circumstances, it could be a combination of neglect, poor parenting skills, and the child not communicating to the other parent about when he or she has been to the toilet. If the child is unable to reach their parts to clean properly, then it's the carers duty to help them.
Remember though, that even when children are this age, they tend to be "slap-dash" about wiping their parts after a visit to the bathroom, and I was always finding bits of faeces on my sons pants at that age.
It's a tricky question!
2007-09-26 22:06:36 · answer #1 · answered by Miss Sally Anne 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Hi. If the child is 7 years old, I would have to ask why isn't he or she going to the bathroom on their own. Why would the child sit in a mess and not say anything or go to the bathroom. Is their another issue involved? After that question, i still would have to say both poor parenting skills for a parent not to notice the situation, and then neglect if the parent has noticed and has failed to do anything about it or has straight up ignored Chucks and smells the other parent had to notice, so my last question is what else is going on with the parent?
i just read your edit, and now i understand the child's problem. I agree that it is a very important detail u should have not forgotten becuase u know people are going to wonder. However, everyone is saying call child protective services. Tha's crazy for right now. I got the impression that you are the other parent, if so, it's not like their isn't someone else who is taking care of the child. I agree that you need to talk to the other parent and see what the problem is first. That's what parents do. The parent shouldn't be uncomfortable wiping it's own child's behind, 7 years old or not. And if he or she is incomfortable, they should be able to talk to you about it. Now if this all fails and they are not willing to work at it or talk about it. then u may just have to stop parental visit's. That would be sad, but what is calling child protective services going to do besides make them question YOUR parenting skills also.
2007-09-26 21:33:58 · answer #2 · answered by SaraiGlamour 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Something is definitely not as it should be. Presumably the other parent knows about the disorder and its related problems? surely in thr light of that knowledge a check could be made after bathroom visits to see that all is well? Stale urine and chunks of faeces? no way. Faecal smears on the underwear possibly, as a result of incomplete wiping, but not chunks. Could not clean underwear be made easily available after each bathroom visit, and the soiled pair either washed, or put into a plastic bag for future washing ? You need to speak to the other parent ASAP. Hope this helps
2007-09-26 21:52:33 · answer #3 · answered by SKCave 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would first question what is causing the child to have accidents at this age. Is there alot of stress in this home that could be causing the child to be undergoing alot of tramatic things...because I couldnt imagine. I had my sister living with me at 7 years old and she properly took care of herself in everyway like this and I never had to tell her how to wipe anything and she never needed me to tell her to. Is the child sick? I would look into some of these things, because it is not normal for a 7 year old child to be having these type of accidents.
OK, your additional details really change things alot. Does the other parent realise this child obviously needs more help with the bathroom? Maybe the other parent is very uncomfortable with helping in these areas. I suggest you confront the other parent as nicely as you can and suggest they hire home care attends to help out if they cannot handle it themselves. I wouldn't consider it neglect, I think the parent is either unaware or very uncomfortable with it. But I dont know your story. The other parent should consider attending some sort of group to help them to understand the disorder, or take time to learn about it and what they are facing. Parenting in itself is enough, but to have an afflicted child is also even harder to cope with, especially when its obviously a split family. Work with what you can. But I wouldn't be calling the child services before you take time to understand the other parents feelings on these matters. To be honest, I dont know how comfortable I would be with wiping and cleaning at 7years old and I would probably be hiring a help nurse.
2007-09-26 21:27:10 · answer #4 · answered by Azaliah 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take the underwear off the child immediately after taking photos of their condition, put them in a plastic bag, and CALL CHILD PROTECTIVE SERVICES! Neglect doesn't even BEGIN to describe this abusive behavior on the part of whomever is making this child wear clothing in that condition!
2007-09-26 21:26:02 · answer #5 · answered by kathi1vee 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I would assume that a child of 7 should be able to ensure their own bottom was clean after going to the toilet. If I were looking after a 7 year old no way would I ask the child if it had wiped itself properly....thats something that should stop at around 4 or 5 at the latest.
Having read your edit....I'm not sure I believe you now.....how could you "forget" to add this? Very strange!
2007-09-26 21:23:17 · answer #6 · answered by Daisyhill 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well yes neglect and poor parenting. I mean I could see like the child forgetting once but if it is as bad as what you are describing, why haven't the parents noticed.
2007-09-27 00:48:38 · answer #7 · answered by his wife 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sense your child has special needs and needs help in making sure her bottom is clean, and no one obviously helped her with this, then yes, that is a form of neglect. No person should have to walk around in their own waste.
2007-09-26 21:55:09 · answer #8 · answered by Zyggy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask your child why he/she wets/soils his underwear at the other parents house, there could be something more to it.
Is it just a 1time occurance or does it happen each time?
Confront the other parent next time it happens.
2007-09-26 21:24:17 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should have child services interview the child, it is possible if the parents were not allowing the child to use the restroom it would be considered abuse!
2007-09-26 21:25:43 · answer #10 · answered by titanlady062404 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋