How do you keep your minds off what's going on? Does the sad feeling go away eventually?
2007-09-26 18:57:06 · 14 answers · asked by Snape_Lives_Forever 2 in Politics & Government ➔ Military
Yes it goes away eventually, there's always moments. Keeping your mind off of what's going on is not the answer though. He doesn't get to turn his head the other way. You should be right there with him in mind and spirit. However coming to grips with reality and seeing that there's nothing you can do about it but be supportive is something that will help both you and him.
After awhile your life kind of picks up without him, life goes on, you don't love him anyless, it's just your job to hold down the fort so to speak. Do stuff around the house, finish up the yard, repaint, buy that new couch, if you have kids, do things with the kids, send him packages, write to him, ALL KINDS of things to do that are productive but that do not turn you into a sobbing blob. Each time you hear of a death, just be thankful it's not yours. I personally pay lots of attention to what's going on because my husband IS involved. I can't help that life still moves on, I just choose to also move with it.
Keep your head up, it's your job back at home.
2007-09-26 19:08:56 · answer #1 · answered by xuliganwhit 4 · 7⤊ 0⤋
I don't keep my mind off of it. It never leaves my mind, and most days I'm very nervous and depressed. I pretend that I'm fine on the outside, and go about business as usual, but I want him home more than anything. I even miss him while grocery shopping. I see things he likes and I want to cry. I write to him and only say happy positive things, never complain, never moan. I want to scream " I love you so much, I want you home now. Why do you feel you need to do this?"
I go out for dinner with friends and feel guilty. I come home to an empty house, empty bed, and turn and look at my cat and say "I miss Kris" My cat purrs we go to bed and start the day again tomorrow.
I love and adore my soldier. I knew what he was when I met him. I know how important it is to him and I will never ask that he change what he wants as a career. I will smile and bite the bullet. Army wives, girlfriends are all also tough soldiers.
Go Army...Hooah.
2007-09-26 23:00:11 · answer #2 · answered by Black Kitten 5 · 5⤊ 0⤋
My Boyfriend started his Deployment one week ago. People tell me it will get better after a couple of months....
I am sad, lonely and worried like never before in my life. Staying at home is the worst thing. It seems like time has stopped sometimes and I can't believe how long a day can become. I think the best thing is to find another spouse in a similar situation and spend time together, get out do things with your kids. Get involved with your Family Readiness Group. Find local Army Spouse Groups online and meet once week.
I find things like that help a little.
2007-09-26 19:17:14 · answer #3 · answered by Jeannette A 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
My boyfriend is graduating from basic, and I've been out of contact for 6 weeks, I'm not ready for him to get deployed, but when he does I'll be ready, I have to I guess. My best way of coping without him is being with friends who can relate to the situation, cause the ones that can't sometimes tell you to suck it up and get over it. Like someone said, the support groups or something. Also, watching really hilarious sitcoms once a day. You need to laugh, he needs to know you are going to be strong without him. ALSO CHOCOLATE!!!! The second best cure for depression, hands down. What's the first best cure, well you know, just being with him is the best cure, but we have to deal with what we've got right? ALSO I carry his picture with me everywhere (people say I'm stupid but hey that's love for ya) and I have countdowns everywhere, in my planner, on my calendars. OH And going to something like a fitness class (I took boxing) GREAT way to relieve depression and stress. And finally writing a letter EVERYDAY even if you can't send it yet or he won't receive it soon.
I really hope this helps, especially coming from a crazed teenager's perspective. Good luck!
2007-09-30 18:57:50 · answer #4 · answered by Bageese 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I try to keep busy, so i would not think about him so much. Yes, it hard but I known that he will be home soon. Also just try to keep myself busy. By going back to school. You can go to school, work part time, do something fun. To keep your mind busy. Write out military wive and u can talk about life and how it is being a wife.
2007-09-27 18:41:57 · answer #5 · answered by sexy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I go through stages during deployments....
1st week... horrible pity party, miss him terribly.
Week 2 ... realize the laundry is now 1/2 what it used to be, the girls and I can watch girlie shows and eat things he hates!
Don't get me wrong... we miss him and want him home, but life goes on.
Month 2... something breaks... it has to.... just to irritate me and to make me a little stronger. We've all settled into a routine and it's really not too bad.
Month 4... I'm sick of taking out the trash and cleaning the kitty litter and he needs to come home to take care of it!! Just one hour... do the chores, give me a hug, and then he can go back!
Month 5... I'm done.... I want him home. I want to snuggle. I want to hold hands. I want to look at him for hours on end. And the sadness begins again.....
Month 6... numbness sets in.
There are good days and bad days, try not to think about the bad days. Try to stay strong for my girls and for myself. Get out a lot with my friends and their kids, especially if it's during the summer. Once a month we have a girls night.... just the wives going out to dinner and relaxing. I don't count down the days till he's home... it's just too hard. Dates change too often and it just aggravates. I offer support to the younger spouses... helps me take my mind off of him being gone. Do a lot of volunteer work, keeps me busy.
As for the war itself... I avoid watching the TV news. Only read the papers for news. He's not allowed to tell me when he goes into Delta.... in my little bubble he's always in Charlie, never Delta. That doesn't mean I'm in total denial, it's what I have to do to stay sane. But, at the same time, everything is in order if the worst happens. I've got the wills, the notifications, the contact numbers, everything. And key people around me have names and numbers as well.
The life of a military spouse is not an easy one, but we do carry on and we remain strong and faithful. Talk to others who are going through the same thing and work together. And it's ok to have pity parties and days you just want to do nothing but cry. But know you can always get help if those days come to often.... there are people out there for you!!
hugs!!!!
2007-09-26 23:07:52 · answer #6 · answered by usafbrat64 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
The first couple weeks are rough. Getting use to your new reality and getting down a new routine without him there. You dont really get over your spouse being gone ( if this is your question) but you find new ways to cope with it and it can get easier in a sense. When mine was gone on the days when i thought i cant do this anymore i remembered..yes i can ive done a deployment before and many many many spouses have done it so toughen up and survive. Have to be strong on this end to keep his morale up on that end when he calls.
2007-09-26 23:51:27 · answer #7 · answered by hlboin_2005 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't know if this will help or not.
Maybe it is best not to completely take your mind off it. Stay informed, but don't become obsessed. Maybe take a cooking class or a class in something else you are interested in. Maybe take up a hobby like sewing. Focus on your career or doing fun things with your children.
2007-09-26 19:13:33 · answer #8 · answered by Laura in North Carolina 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't. My husband's been gone long enough now that I'm not sad anymore, just empty. We're at that point in deployment where he's been gone long enough that it's a little better, but not long enough that we can look foward to his homecoming. There's still that aching pain every day, but you learn to deal. Time won't stop for you to catch your breath, so there is no choice but to keep going.
2007-09-26 21:17:12 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 6⤊ 0⤋
Q Cumber - how disrespectful are you? Do you get joy out of hurting people? You really need humbled. You are pathetic!
Keept your head up girl. It gets better. Just pray for him and all the other brave men and women. Send letters & packages all the time. It makes their day.
2007-09-27 01:54:59 · answer #10 · answered by BuckeyeGirl 2 · 4⤊ 1⤋