i have 18month old girl, she is my angel.
my new ,man of 3 months told me that he doesnt know what to do, because no matter how hard he tries, she will never be his daughter.
what are your opinions, experiences ect. about step parenting.
i understand that it is hard for him- but it is also hard for us girls too.
he wants to fall in love with 'me' as a person, not as a mum or whatever.
i am confused as to how he is feeling..
i do love him, but havent told him.. everytime i go to, he does something that makes me back away.
help.
i know he wont replace my girls dad, but he doesnt think he will get any respect or enough love like a 'real' dad does...
2007-09-26 18:52:04 · 7 answers · asked by Queen-Bee 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
hang on... he loves her.. is very good with her..
he is scared that she wont love him back..
she does love him, but sometimes hits him or wont hug him when he asks..
2007-09-26 19:03:52 · update #1
Well Im not a guy but I do have a blended family. I have 2 kids from a past relationship and been with my partner for 5 yrs. My kids were 3 and 18 months at the time we got together. It was an adjustment at first but he loves my kids like his own now and my kids respect him and love him as stepdad.
Of coarse your man will never be your daughters biological father but that doesn mean he cant be her dad. Its up to him if he wants to allow that to happen.
He needs to fall in love with you as a person and as a mother and partner, not just as a person. My partner tells me he loves the way I love my kids and tells people what a great mum I am and it warms my heart. He also says that at least he has had a preview of what Im like as a mum so he knows if we have a child together I will do a good job... lol cause we are having our own now
I was also raised with a stepdad and biological dad and I love and reapect them both and feel lucky because I had 2 men looking out for me growing up.... I never would disrespect my stepdad and he came into my life when I was 12.
Anyway I dont want to take up all the room so best of luck :)
give your daughter time. you have only been with this guy for 3 months. do you want her to get attached then feel abandoned if the relationship doesn work out? You need to take things slowly
2007-09-26 19:10:14 · answer #1 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dump him he is not worthy of this childs love or yours. he should automaticly love this child becouse it is an extension of you. she is not even 2 years old. he sounds like the 2 year old. my daughter is almost 15. the guy that i am seeing always asks about the baby...yes a 15 year old baby....lol and he is kind and considerate. i dated a man like yours at one time back in 96 threw 98 and he said my kid hated him......he married a woman i knew so they could have kids together. found out about 2 years in the marriage that neithor of them could have kids. of course they wont adopt becouse it wouldnt be their own kids.....those 2 40 and 50 year old people are the ones with the problems. not your kid or mine. so drop him. God will send you the right guy at the right time. the best thing is not looking or trying to force it.
2007-09-27 02:01:40 · answer #2 · answered by Ida 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he dont love your little girl now, he has no love in him, he has no compassion and he is not a kind person. So beware, he wont love you truly. People who are kind and compassionate and caring cant resit loving a little infant and if he really loved you he would love your little one too. But he is no good. He will never change, he will just get worse. Dump him, find a loving caring partner.Your child will love you forever take care of the little one.
2007-09-27 01:57:50 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Any male can contribute sperm to be a father.
Not just anyone can be a daddy... that is special.
The daddy is the one that rears the child... gives guidance & discipline, puts band-aids on boo-boos, reads bedtime stories and all that other stuff.
Spell it out to him like that.
You have found an ideal qualifier... if a guy can't deal with the kid, he can't deal with you. Consider enrolling in playgroups for single parents.
2007-09-27 02:01:52 · answer #4 · answered by revsuzanne 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My mom had a step-mother and she never treated her like a mother because she was afraid she was replacing her mother (her sisters and mother told her that). However, they made up 30 years later and became good friends. Let him know you love him and spend time with him and your daughter. Try Daddy/Baby classes where he can bond with her and feel like a dad.
2007-09-27 01:57:00 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband is a step. He loves my son. It sounds like he is asking you to choose between your daughter and him!
I would proceed with utmost caution!
2007-09-27 01:56:34 · answer #6 · answered by soundproof 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
drop him
2007-09-27 01:55:43 · answer #7 · answered by kcracer1 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋