2007-09-26 16:48:04 · 18 answers · asked by Atom 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
*** I meant, what is the stupidest Christian doctrine you've ever heard a Christian try to explain.
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While I was on my mission, we talked with a minister's wife who insisted that once you're saved, you can never sin again.
I asked, Well what if you do?
She said, You can't.
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THAT was the stupidest thing I've ever heard...
2007-09-26 17:19:41 · update #1
***Reader's Discretion Advised*** This is just a means of joking around. Just seeing if the Fundies can take what they dish. Please understand much of what is in here is not my actual perception about Protestants. It is an EXAGERATION of much of their common beliefs (just as they do to ours). The difference is my intention. I'm not posting this in MALICE towards anyone. Please don't take this seriously...
THE 13 ARTICLES OF SILLY FAITH
1. They believe in God the set of conjoined triplets (or the one with multiple-personality disorder, depending on which one you ask).
2. They believe that man shall be allowed to blame Adam and especially Eve (That evil witch) for their sin. It just isn't their own fault.
3. They believe that through the crucifixion of Christ all Christians (murderous & pious) WILL be saved by claiming to be Christian and lying about other faiths.
4.They believe that the first principles and ordinances of the gospel are first, Faith in Lord JAHEEZUS, second announcing such faith, third calling all other faiths cults, fourth lying to achieve any of the aforementioned.
5. They believe that a man must be called by choice, be desire, and by a degree or "PhD" issued by a loosely accredited "Bible College" to preach the Gospel and call other people names.
6. They believe in the same organization that existed since the Reformation, namely independent churches with no central authority, in disarray, separated, out of communion with each other.
7. They believe in the gift of tongues... um, yeah just the gift of tongues as so long as the gift is manifest in gibberish and that it doesn't contradict what they think the Bible says.
8. They believe the Bible to be the word of God. Period. End of Discussion. They also believe science, common sense, logic, reason, etc to be the word of God as long as it doesn't contradict the oh so inerrant Bible.
9. They believe all the God had revealed in the Old & New Testament times, except for what they didn't agree with. They believe that God does not now reveal, and that he will never again reveal anything important pertaining to the Kingdom of God.
10. They believe in the figurative gathering of Israel and in the spiritual gathering of the 10 tribes; that Zion will be built upon the Jews (if they believe as they do) that Christ will personally usurp all the "true believers" into the sky like a UFO right before the earth receives its hell-fire.
11. They claim the privilege of worshiping Almighty God according to the dictates of their own thinking, and do not allow all men the same privilege. Let all other men worship how, where, and what Born-Again, fundamentalist Christian, Republicans say.
12. They believe in being subjects to kings, presidents, rulers, and magistrates, as long as HE is a White, Anglo-Saxon, Protestant. They believe in obeying, honoring, and sustaining the law, except when the Bible doesn't say to do otherwise.
13. They believe in being honest (except about religion), true (again except about religion), chaste (unless the person is already "saved"), benevolent, virtuous, and in doing good to all men (except Mormons, Jews, Muslims, Buddhists, Jehovah's Witnesses, Gays, Lesbians, Bisexuals, Liberals, Democrats, Scientists, Free-Thinkers, Archaeologists, et.al). Indeed they may say they are FAR from following the admonition of Paul. They believe some things, they hope for others, they have forced many to endure things, and hope to continue to be able to do such. If there is anything virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy that didn't come from a Bible believing Luther Following Fundamentalist Born Again Cult Hating Christian they seek to destroy these things.
2007-09-28 09:57:28 · answer #1 · answered by Feelin Randi? 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Life is full of Challenge, as a human we constant has to stand up to what is right.
The worst one I have ever heard is that the members of the Church of Jesus Christ (LDS) are not Christian, because we believe in a different Christ!
What low can a so called Christian go?
Our Doctrine stats, We believe in God the Eternal Father, and in His Son Jesus Christ, and in the Holy Ghost.
Keep up the good work with a blessing from God the Eternal Father
Sometime I wonder how many millions have been members of this Church since it was organized 6 April 1830.
Current membership is about 14,3 Millions, how can so many people be wrong!
2007-09-26 23:54:16 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋
Since we, religious or not, are all dummies where the bible is concerned, yes it is very appropriate. How boring would this world be if we were able to unravel all of life's mysteries?
2016-05-19 21:34:14 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Once saved, always saved.
There is no guarantee, unfortunately...unless the Savior personally visits you and tells you you will have a place with him in the Celestial Kingdom!
My dad, who is a very dishonest person, just goes on and on about how the Lord has blessed his life so much and blah blah blah...my dad changes churches like he changes his socks. My dad lies and cheats in his business, yet he sees all his business as a "blessing" because he is "saved"... I do not believe the Lord blesses us in sin. That is just so contradictory. He always tells me how worried he is about my soul because I am a mormon, but that at least I have the Lord in my life.. It's pathetic. What is really sad is his currect church passes out pamphlets about mormon "truths" exposed. I looked and it and put it where it belonged - the garbage.
Satan is rearing his ugly head and these people are so blinded by his craftiness they have no idea. It's really sad.
2007-09-27 07:05:29 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
I have not heard anything stupid from a Christian Bible Zealot. I've heard stuff I don't understand, stuff I don't believe, somethings that are a little strange to me, and some things that I have a slightly different view on. And sometimes they don't approach things they don't understand the best way, or they don't accurately represent other's beliefs, but stupid? No.
They're beliefs aren't stupid at all.
2007-09-26 17:32:24 · answer #5 · answered by Lex 7 · 4⤊ 1⤋
The trinity, that satan was an angel that sinned and pride was in his heart and he fell and was cast to the earth.
Here are the ones that the mormons hate from saints alive site, that mormons build their stiples to stop the second coming from coming, that the hand shakes in the temple change a person's sexual well being, that mormon in japan means something demonic, that mormon in levey's satanic bible is a demon, ect.
2007-09-27 06:08:15 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
--that the Antichrist will come out of the Middle East.
--the the Rapture will happen in the next 5 years.
--that 666 is a tatoo on your right hand or forehead.
2007-09-27 06:12:22 · answer #7 · answered by Andre 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I agree with Dionysus. We tend to get defensive when our beliefs and explanations are questioned. How can we expect to be respected if we sink to this level and not only get defensive, but offensive (in both senses of the word)?
I'm sure you're asking in innocence, but I think we should show more respect.
2007-09-27 06:05:21 · answer #8 · answered by Senator John McClain 6 · 3⤊ 2⤋
Some supposed minister was making a protest claiming that God hates homosexuals
God doesn't hate
2007-09-26 16:54:05 · answer #9 · answered by sanitysane 4 · 3⤊ 1⤋
That God is a Spirit but has no form...He is in all of us but not really, because He's God...and He created us in His own image, but not really because He has no real image..he's just this nebulous incorporeal floating blob of perfection...that kind of hangs out above the clouds listening to classical music all day...
I really don't get the Born-Again version of God. Never mind that I believe that Jesus and Satan were once brothers...it's much easier to hold, believing that God is physical, tangible, and real.
2007-09-26 17:56:31 · answer #10 · answered by Fotomama 5 · 3⤊ 3⤋