Should a 20 year old F have a curfew?

Question

college student, live at home
dont party, drink, smoke etc
all I do is study and yet I cannot go to gym at night

Answer 1

Ouch, that's got to hurt to admit.

Well, as much as I'd like to say that your parents are caring people who simply want to avert any possible harm that this increasingly dangerous world might bring upon you, there is a significant part of me that says something is wrong here.

Whether it be simply a case of over protective parents, or some serious control issues, I'd say that it may be time to "spread those wings" and leave the nest.

Surely a daughter like you would be any parents dream child, but you have to allow that child to realize their own dreams on their own.
I hope that happens for you.

Good luck.

Answer 2

I have two friends that are in college one living with her parents, the other with her aunt. Both have to put up with rules. My one friend however is allowed to spend the night with her boyfriend because he lives so far from her and the other isnt allowed to meet her boyfriend for dinner sometimes! DINNER, maybe the guy is bad news I've never met him. But from my opinion, its a bit extreme.

I was 16-17 and allowed to stay out till 12- 1:00 on the weekends on special occasions, of course i was just at my friends house nothing too crazy. My usualy curfew was 11 tho.(but i'm from the country, so if you are in a city i could see your parents concern)
Maybe your best bet is to try to reason with your parents. Personally I could never go to a gym i hate being sweaty around other people, even if they are sweaty too. So I would be someone who would go to the gym at night as well, for self esteem reasons.

Answer 3

I myself am 20 and have an unofficial curfew of between midnight and 1AM. I live with my parents for a number of reasons but living with my parents is my choice. My curfew is my choice as well for the most part. Its a respect thing for me. I respect them and am grateful that they allow me to stay at home. Being home by 1AM on a Friday night is a small price to pay. Besides I avoid the 2AM exodus of drunks from bars attempting to drive home or to another place to get more alcohol.

I don't however understand their refusal to allow you to go to a gym at night. That doesn't make much sense to me.....unless you are trying to go to the gym after 11PM or so.

Answer 4

ha we must be twins.
im a 19 year old college student that still lives at home and i dont party, drink or smoke either but i have a 1:30 curfew!!!!!!!! isnt that ridiculous?! I always ask to go to the gym at nite time to (to avoid the crowds) but my parents always say NO because its too late and theres "crazy people out there"

=[
SOmetimes i wished theyd just let me grow up!
i mean, i understand im still living underneath their roof, but cmon, im an adult!!

Answer 5

i believe if your not paying rent you should have a curfew. Most colleges have a gym on campus so you should go there before you go home. There are a lot of scary people out there. Maybe if you had someone to go with you your parents might feel better about letting you go.

Answer 6

You should have the liberty of going to the gym. I find it hard to believe that your parents do not give you some freedom. You are twenty, not 18. If you were my child (I am 59) I would ask that you be home by midnight on weekends and 10 on weekdays. If you have never betrayed your parents trust, they should give you some freedom. It is not healthy to hold a twenty year old to the standards of a high school teen. They are repressing you. If they relent and afford you some freedom while you live in their house, do not betray them by coming in later than required. Good Luck.

Answer 7

I don't think that the fact that you do not yet earn your own money gives your parents the right to treat an adult like a child. I appreciate that they worry about something happening to you, but the risk would not be different if you lived in your apartment. So I think it's more a power thing on their part. If there are serious safety issues in the area where you live, there are ways to deal with them, but it should be your choice how to handle them, not your parents'.

Answer 8

As the parent of a 20 yr. old, I think it's unreasonable and unfair to hold adults to the same standards as children. My son had proven his responsibility by the age of 18 and we took away the restrictions we'd placed on him when he was a child. Our 15 yr. old has very strict rules and abides by them well and I think that knowing that there will come a day when we trust him really helps with that. My 20 yr. old has never let us down or made us feel like we made a mistake by letting him grow up.

I think it's time for an adult to adult talk.
Ask your parents what they are trying to accomplish with the rules that are making you feel untrustworthy and childish.

Ask them what restrictions they lived with when they were your age and how it made them feel if they were being treated in a way that made them feel like you do now.

Make sure you have all of your arguments and rational written down beforehand and don't get angry or upset if you can help it.

Good luck with this :)

Answer 9

For all of you who said yes she should never speak again.

Shes a 20 year old college student who if shes still at home isnt making enough for an apartment, which doesnt give her parents rights to tell her what to do.

All of you think back to when you were 20, would you like to have your parents telling you, you cant go somewhere?

Answer 10

well you live with your parents so yeah. Think of it through their eyes... would you want your daughter to be able to come at all hours of the night and go as she pleased? I'm guessing they are putting you through college too so, double yeah to the curfew!
It's their house their rules...it's awful nice of them to let you stay there while your in college to begin with....I'm guessing you will be moving out with in a few years anyway...don't burn your bridges now just because of a curfew.