This is my fiance's second wedding and my first. His sister and I are the same age. I don't like her. His mother is apparently mad that she is not in the wedding, but has said nothing to me about it. I don't want her in the wedding. My two sisters are my bridesmaids and they are both in good shape. I picked a dress that flatters them. My fiance's sister is... well... fat and would look horrible in the dress. I know that I will have to bear the brunt for her not being in the wedding -or- have to hear about how inconsiderate I am for making her wear such an unflattering dress. HELP!!! She is such a spoiled brat and gets whatever she wants. I'm ranting; I know... I just need some backup here.
2007-09-26 15:52:45 · 13 answers · asked by tinars02 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I should clarify that I am NOT discriminatory against her because she is overweight. My fiance and I discussed this early on and decided that it was my decision. I decided not to have her in the wedding. Hence, the reason why I picked the dress I did for my sisters. It has just recently become a problem for my future in-laws. My fiance's sister was not in his previous marriage either and it turned out to be something that his mother STILL gripes about. I just don't want to hear about it for the next X amount of years. I also don't want to hear about how bad she looks in the dress (if she were in it) either. Again, I don't have anything against heavier people. I understand I should have worded that better, but I am just at the end of my rope with this issue.
2007-09-26 16:48:29 · update #1
it is your and your fiances wedding. if you both agreed it was fine to not ask her then don't feel bad or let anyone push you into it. this will only happen once in a lifetime and don't change how you want it for anyone else. if the future mil says anything to you about it simply tell her that you are not that good a friend with her daughter yet and wanted only your closest friends standing with you. If she still continues saying anything look her straight in the face and tell her "I will have no more discussion of this now or in the future" and subject closed.
2007-09-26 17:12:32 · answer #1 · answered by Southern Belle 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
While the bride does get to pick the bridesmaids she wants, it's good family politics to ask the groom's sister(s). But in your case, not wanting a fat bridesmaid apparently trumps family politics. The dress excuse is bogus b/c had you asked the groom's sister, you could have selected a dress that flatters all of them.
I hope you always stay in good shape, and never lose a limb, a breast, your hair, or your looks. Because what goes around, comes around.
2007-09-26 16:34:01 · answer #2 · answered by Ms. X 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Expect there to be hurt feelings for the duration of your marriage. You are marrying his family, as he is marrying yours. You should involve your fiance's sister in some aspect of the wedding. Perhaps she could do a reading, or mind the guest book or something. When my brother married, the bride's sister was int he wedding, I was not. Her brothers were not in the wedding either. I was alittle hurt, but I got over it I was asked to do a reading. My husband doesn't have any sisters, so that solved that issue for me. Both of our brothers were in the wedding party however.
2007-09-26 18:05:32 · answer #3 · answered by M S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My fiance's family and my family do NOT get along (see my other questions, lol). Luckily, he doesn't have any siblings or any close family members close to us in age. I, on the other hand, have two brothers who fully expected to be in my wedding, but with the situation we have now, they understand that that's probably not going to happen. My fiance has his good friends who he wants in his party. Similarly, if he had sisters or cousins or whoever wanted to be in my I would have to say "tough nuggies." I have my sisters and friends. It's your wedding; don't lose sight of that.
2007-09-26 16:20:24 · answer #4 · answered by Amber L 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
how does ur fiance feel about u not having her at the wedding? i think u two should come to an agreement to where she is maybe not allowed to the church or where u say "i do" but maybe let her go to the recetpion. to be honest there will be alot of things going on and to many people to be happy for u that u might not even notice shes there. so that maybe ur mother in law wont be all upset that shes not going. or it can be the other way around invite her to the "i do's" and not to the party if u think shes going to be a hasle
2007-09-26 16:17:37 · answer #5 · answered by amber h 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I think it would be a strong, unifying gesture to include your future sister-in-law in the wedding party. She will be a part of your life for (hopefully) the rest of your life and the sooner you and her establish god relations, the better.
It would reflect well on you, and your matruity, to rise above your current dislike of this woman and include her.
2007-09-26 17:44:53 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's your wedding, but just note that this family is going to be your in-laws. Maybe this is why this is your fiance's second marriage?
Good luck, and I wish you all the best.
2007-09-26 16:14:56 · answer #7 · answered by SBCaptain 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's YOUR wedding, do what you want. However, be aware of the consequences and weigh them carefully. Is one day really worth creating ill will between you and your in-laws?
2007-09-26 16:00:54 · answer #8 · answered by Caitlin 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
You do not have to have anyone in your wedding that you don't want there. Keep in mind that it is YOUR wedding!! You are the only one whose happiness matters on your special day (well yours.. and your finacee's) His mother's feelings are not your concern. How does he feel about it?
2007-09-26 15:57:30 · answer #9 · answered by Shelly J 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
If I was her i wouldn't want to be in someone's wedding who is as shallow and cruel as you anyway.
2007-09-26 16:13:16 · answer #10 · answered by wilo_chick 4 · 6⤊ 0⤋