I've said since day one that he wasn't to have sweets or cola, but I still catch her giving it to him on occasion. It really pis$es me off because I feel like she's not respecting me as his mother. If coke with take RUST off of a screw, what is it doing to my baby's stomach? My question is.. what do I say to her to get her to finally stop? I don't want to keep her away from her grandson, but I don't know what else to do.
2007-09-26 14:23:48 · 22 answers · asked by ... 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
MIL= Mother in Law
2007-09-26 14:24:48 · update #1
I threw my mother-in-law out of the house once. It made a lasting impression. Try it.
2007-09-26 14:32:18 · answer #1 · answered by steve.c_50 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give her an ultimatum. This is NOT her child.
Depending on how often the MIL gives your child sweets could be bad. Coke is a no no. I know that my son is hyper active enough w/o the added caffeine.
If it is just a once in a blue moon type of thing, I would let the sweets slide. Every grandmother deserves to spoil their grandchild...as long as it does not happen too often.
But the coke...and other sugary/caffeinated drinks are a major no no.
But like I said, you are gonna have to give her an ultimatum. It might be too difficult for your husband to do:)
Good luck
2007-09-26 14:32:11 · answer #2 · answered by Melanie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My 2yo twins are not aloud to have coke full stop. I had this same problem with my grandparents spoiling their Great Grandsons. My boys go mental on coke, the get a real caffeine high and become unbearable to be around.
You really should be very firm with her. She needs to know that the occasional sweet is okay, but coke is a no-no. Tell her that you feel like she is disrespecting your right as a mother. You could threaten her with no visits if she doesn't abide by your rules.
2007-09-26 14:32:34 · answer #3 · answered by *Charli* Mamma Di Gemini's 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would polietly talk her about it. I am sure she thinks she is spoiling him, not hurting him. I would tell her that there are other things she can spoil him with that can be a special thing between him and her. Suggest something other than Coke and sweets. Just tell her that you feel like she doesnt respect you and it hurts your feelings. If she cares about you, especially as the mother to her grandson, then she should respect this. If she doesnt, then tell your husband to reinforce your decision. This is your child.
If all else fails, Tell her that the sweets hurt his belly and it makes him cry later in the night. That should pull her heart strings, if she has any.
2007-09-26 14:38:36 · answer #4 · answered by Mystie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You dont leave her alone with the child....that is the bottom line and your child should be your first concern...not her feelings and not her situation. IF she really wants to continue to see her grandchild she will realize you are the mom NOT her. I would tell her that she is not respecting your wishes and there for cannot be left alone. If things dont get any better for you after a few months of that I would accept that she simply cannot be trusted and THAT is sad. Sorry that your MIL is being so disrespectful it is hard and I understand.
2007-09-26 14:29:37 · answer #5 · answered by akhoney 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You are going to have to put your foot down and say if you continue to feed my son cola and candy then I can't leave him alone with you anymore.
And then you have to follow through.
There is no other way around this, you have tried being reasonable. However you might want to give her a list of "treats" she is allowed to give him. Like my husband's grandfather always had "poppa cookies" (the ones with cream in the middle and that fruit jam circle on the top cookie? I forget what they are called). I'm not saying it has to be THAT sugary, but maybe something like graham crackers, ginger snaps, canned fruit even. Something special for her and him alone.
2007-09-26 14:34:20 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If it bothers you that much and she is doing it all the time then tell her that you will keep him away if she can't respect your wishes. Just know that she will likely do it anyway when you are not around....to be the "good Grandma" that your son will like and go to because he knows he will get a treat. Its a catch 22 because I'm sure you want your son to know his Grandma, but she has to be told now before it continues. Good luck.
2007-09-26 14:28:55 · answer #7 · answered by wife2denizmoi 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry that this is happening to you.... How does your DH feel about this? I think what you need to do, is to sit sown with your MIL, and your hubby...but not your son, and tell her straight out...NO more sweets or Coke, or she can't see him without one of you there also. She has to build your trust again...just like a child who doesn't listen. Please be sure that your DH is on your side with this....otherwise there will be nothing but problems!!
Good Luck
Momma P
DH---Dear Hubby
2007-09-26 14:40:55 · answer #8 · answered by Momma P 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't keep her away from your son, just don't leave her alone with him. Explain to her that her lack of respect for you when it comes to raising your child and giving him the things you have asked her not to is hurting both you and the child. Children need to see peace in their home lives and when you are angry with another family member it effects them too. Also talk to your husband and get his support on this.
2007-09-27 04:46:02 · answer #9 · answered by nykate_winslow 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you keep her away from your child unless you are there to keep an eye on everything. That is the only way. Be honest with her, you can't trust her to not give these things to him and you will have to monitor her time with him. He's your child, you put him first.
2007-09-26 15:02:21 · answer #10 · answered by Pandora 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋