Did I did the right thing?

Question

I did something that i usually don't I have a five year and a three year old son. My oldest has ADHD but the medicine isn't working right. He been totally not behaving and giving me a really attitude. But he kept hurting his little brother. He got a bump from the first time for him pushing him and his little brother hit his head on tv stand and then another one from throwing his belt that he wears on his brother head got another brother bump and bleed a little bit. So i sent my oldest to bed for hurting his brother and not stop behaving. Because he hurt his brother. And let my youngest stay awake. I thought this might help my oldest not to hurt his brother by going to bed early. Thanks

Answer 1

Yes you did the right thing.. As for ADHD and the medicine?? If it's not working then he doesn't need it.. It's obviously due to the fact he's just a normal active 5 year old.. Show me a 5 year old that is an angel..???? The medication could actually be making him worse...

Answer 2

Try this with your "ADHD" son. Get him to drink a cup of coffee witha bit of milk but NO Sugar in it. Watch his behavior afterward. If he gets even more hyper, he's not ADHD. If he calms and mellows out some, he is ADHD. Crazy I know, but I had to do this with my oldest daughter. If he is ADHD then he needs to have almost all refined sugar removed from his daily diet along with a few other things (ask Dr. for a dietary list). Save the sweets for treat early in the day when he has time to run it off.

As for punishing him for hitting his borther, you did the right thing. But on the same token, remember that he really really needs you to reward the good things he does. If he can sit still for 5 minutes in the grocery store line or something like that, then find a small reward that he likes and reward him. If he is going nuts on you and not settling, then yes, give him a time out. But these kids don't do well with a time out that's hours long. Everything, punishment as well as rewards have to be taken in small doses.

And it'll exhaust you, mom. Trust me I know. But keep at it. Also, speak to the Dr. about his meds. He may need a different kind, a change in dose, a time change as to when to take it, or maybe none at all. But it's your job to tell the Dr. what's ahppening at home and school so that they can help you and your son. Ask your son if he's happy when he's going crazy and can't sit still and has to hurt his brother, he may well tell you no, he's not happy. Ask him if he's happy after he takes his med and can sit still and listen for a few minutes.

Good Luck

Answer 3

Of course you did the right thing! My kids are 8yo and 6yo and nothing makes them behave like an early bedtime knowing the other one is up and playing. We use the 30min rule. Every bad behaviour starting with the first offense is 30min no matter how bad or what they did especially if they have been acting up all day. One night my 8yo went to bed at 6:30 right after dinner and the 6yo was up till 9pm like normal. The medicine could be making your son worse. You should call the doc and find out what can be done or just stop giving it to him and see what happens. He sounds like a normal boy just keep an eye on his behaviour and keep a firm approach to the punishments.

Answer 4

I'm hardly a psychologist (if you look at my previous answers, they're mostly cars and computers :) ) but I think it might be better to try and find the root of the problem, rather than treating the symptoms. I was a *very* active child growing up (I went through a spitting phase, a shin-kicking phase, a biting phase...) and several teachers recommended medicine. My parents refused, however, because they knew I was just bored at school and needed more interaction and stuff that interested me. 5 may be a bit young to test it this way, but the common thing I've heard is that if he can do something he truly enjoys for hours, be it video games, playing outside, watching TV, etc. then he probably doesn't have ADHD.

What finally did it for me was a teacher that recognized why I was acting out and went out of her way to give me extra work to do, sat down with me after class when I needed help instead of making we wait for the class to catch up later that week or month, and generally found unique ways to keep me interested. I ended up doing algebra in 5th grade because of it. If he's even in school yet, you might want to try and see what he's excelling in, and what he's falling back in, and try to nurture both. Make sure to find things he enjoys doing and working on, and also try to find out why he's falling behind in certain topics and see if you can engage him in other ways.

That said, violent behavior can't be tolerated, especially if it's leading to injuries like that. I'm not going to advise on specific punishments since that's often a very personal and controversial topic, but I remember that I loved being sent to my room because I had all the toys, games, books, and other stuff to keep me busy in there. Even when I was sent to bed, it wasn't too difficult to sneak a light and book under the blanket. It might work better to make him sit somewhere, doing nothing or something he doesn't like doing (might be a bit young for chores yet, but maybe some dusting or sweeping places and things he can't have accidents with). Something he doesn't like might be more reinforcing than being made to do nothing, or even something he doesn't mind much.

Answer 5

yes! maybe even a stronger punishment is in order... you need to teach him against violence strongly. I worked as a daycare teacher for 2 and 3 years olds and most of the kids had been through foster care and been adopted so some of them were angry and violent. The worse one I remember, who is 3 and adopted behaves just for his mom and no one else, she makes him pull weeds in the yard if he gets a bad note home and of course she sits outside with him and watches him, but its something he doesnt want to do. Find a punishment that isnt violent (like spanking) and if the treatment gets worse then up the punishment

Answer 6

nothing wrong with sending the boy to bed for misbehaving like that. when i was younger, that's what happened all the time. plus a spanking. i have been where you are. my oldest was the same way with his brother,2 yrs younger. jealousy and a constant need for attention was alot of his problem.

Answer 7

Yes you did the right thing. Just make sure you explain to your son that its not acceptable behavior to hit people, especially family members and thats why hes being punished.

Answer 8

I am a firm believer in rewarding good behavior as well as punishing for bad behavior. I would have done the same thing!

Answer 9

IF his meds aren't working correctly then you need to return to the doctor and discuss it with the doctor, it is not the child's fault that the medication he is on isn't doing it's job. However it is YOUR fault for not bringing this to the attention of your child's doctor.

Answer 10

i would have done the same as you need