My soon-to-be-step sons are 11 and twins. They baby-sit a little and me and my fiance told them to be home by 10, it was a school night, and the parents were coming home at 9:45 and they live a few blocks down.
They came home at 11:30. My fiance and I were very angry. They didn't even call! We called the parents and they said that they came home earlier then they had expected! When we asked where they were they said, "Chill dad, Taylor, we were just out."
We are stumed on punishment. Besides taking away TV, computer, video games and they have to do extra chores. My fiance has this idea to treat them like a baby because lately they have been acting like big babies. He wants to diaper them, feed them, give them bottles, put them in cribs the whole thing including pinching cheeks and embarrassing them. I am totally behind them. Should we do it? They're mom is dead, so we aren't worrying about that. Is it fair? We plan to do it for a few months.
2007-09-26 13:14:07 · 19 answers · asked by Jasmine 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
If you have any ideas, on how to baby them, please tell me.
2007-09-26 13:29:33 · update #1
They baby-sit only for families we know and they don't baby-sit often.
2007-09-29 07:59:18 · update #2
I would definitely take away all adult privileges: no babysitting, no picking your own clothes, no nothing! You idea sounds great! Maybe even walk them to class or shadow them for the day since they cant be counted on to do what they should.
2007-10-01 12:24:08 · answer #1 · answered by billie b 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, it is a problem that you let 11 yr old children babysit until 10pm and then walk home by themselves!! When YOU are acting so irresponsible in the first place, I don't know how do you expect THEM to be responsible. At 11, children must be supervised, not let walk around in the middle of the night and then expect that they do everything as if they were much older. As for your punishment, it's just crazy ! I don't know what's wrong with you people, maybe you, the parents, need some help.
2007-09-26 13:47:37 · answer #2 · answered by Lia 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First of all, YOU two need some discipline yourselves- and probably some parenting classes. After you've learned a lesson or two or three about how to parent properly and what YOUR responsiblilities are to your children, then maybe yo'll know what sort of discipline your children need. If you want them to learn to behave in a more grown up way- and remember, they are just 11 and still learning- then the discipline should encourage that- NOT hinder it with a punishment (notice- punishment is very different than discipline- look it up) that will just cause further rebellion and possibly hate for you and their dad. And I wouldn't blame them. That is the most bizarre concept of a corrective procedure I have ever heard.
2007-09-26 14:46:38 · answer #3 · answered by nanny411 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Why are 11 year olds out babysitting until 10 at night? They should be home and tucked up in bed, especially on a school night. This is just stupidity in its purest form. 11 year olds are not mature enough to be left on their own at night let alone looking after someone elses children. And as for treating them like babies, well that is just ridiculous. Treat them as 11 year olds. On the one hand you expect them to babysit and take on adult roles and then you say they are being babies. Maybe you should keep them at home, only let them go places when you are going and BE AN ADULT yourself.
2007-09-26 13:26:57 · answer #4 · answered by the man 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would be furious too if I were in your situation and I totally understand the need to punish the boys. I agree to taking away their belongings and increasing their household jobs but treating them like babies and taking it to the literal sense I am not sure about. You cannot put 11 year old boys in nappies, there is no way they would sit still long enough for you to feed them with a bottle and putting them in cribs??? Surely you know that this is not a normal situation and that the boys have legal rights that they probably will use in order to protect them from such obsurd behaviour. If you and your future husband decide to go ahead with this punishment, it is your progative but be very careful...I don't think that you will get the desired response.
2007-09-26 13:24:28 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
My question is where has the discipline been before this incident? Mis-treating the children isn't going to teach them anything other than the fact that the parents aren't worthy of the respect they are demanding. Discipline starts from day one with house rules and privlieges, taking away things that are handed to the kids at whim isn't discipline. Children should EARN time to play on game systems, children should EARN television time. So what you are are going to accomplish is having two soon to be teen aged boys who disrespect and resent you and who no doubt will be in more and more trouble as they get older because they don't respect you.
2007-09-26 15:18:09 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would definitely take away privileges and traet them younger than what they are but I am not so sure about the diapers and bottles. When friends call I would tell them that they can not come out and play because they are being irresponsible. The boys are 11 so treat them like they are in kindergarten and that should do the trick. Good luck!
2007-09-26 13:23:01 · answer #7 · answered by llamma2006 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Humiliating them will make them HATE their step mom forever. FOREVER.
Your fiance is nuts. They are acting like babies because children regress sometimes when they are faced with adults making choices that affect them but that they cannot control - their dad's getting married, remember. They used to share the #1 spot with dad, and now they don't. This is what kids do.
That said...
No more babysitting. They clearly lack the maturity.
2007-09-26 14:54:45 · answer #8 · answered by tweedropjes 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No, that's going to make your kids rebel even more (and it's just weird, honestly, and unduly harsh).
If they don't come home when they're supposed to from babysitting, then they're not allowed to babysit anymore. Bye-bye extra cash. Nor are they allowed to go out for a while without your supervision, since you can't trust what they're doing.
They'll be plenty unhappy with that, I'm sure, and it's a consequence that follows naturally from what they did.
Then talk to your kids when you're not fighting with them and figure out what they were doing. They may be in more trouble than you realize.
2007-09-26 13:29:20 · answer #9 · answered by ... 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No, that is just stupid. It's not going to work. Besides, in no state is it legal for an 11 year-old to baby-sit, so they should not even be doing that in the first place. Just ground them. No friends, phone, computer, DVD player/TV for 2 weeks, and everythime they whine about it add another 2 days.
2007-09-26 13:20:40 · answer #10 · answered by Ryan's mom 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋