How long does it take to get over the shock of a parent dying?

Question

My father passed away on Sept. 21, 2007 from pancreatic cancer. He was diagnosed with stage 4 on Aug. 8th. He lived only 6 weeks. I continue to look at his obituary and it is unbelievable to me that he is gone forever. It all happened so fast. I keep expecting him to walk through the door any minute. How long does it take for the realization that he is gone forever to set in? Or will it always be like a shock to me? I am missing him so much.

Answer 1

I truly am so sorry for your loss.
It will take a long time, as I am still missing my mother and its been over 2 years. Every time I am alone and just drift off in memory. Sometimes I can still hear her talking to me.
This site has helped me. I made a tribute to her that will last. Just putting all of it down relieved a little of the hurt.
Please take care of yourself, you know that your dad is watching over you now.
God Bless

Answer 2

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss! My father also passed away, a year ago from prostate cancer. He lived 9 months from the time he was diagnosed & it was a very aggressive cancer. I'm sure it must be harder to accept when you have less time to say goodbye to the person you love but I can tell you that the next few months will be really tough but one day you'll just realize that you're starting to accept it. It took me a few months to really realize that my father was gone for good. I still miss him terribly though & I don't think that will ever subside for me. I look at his picture & obituary often & talk to him sometimes.

Just try to think how happy & at peace your father is now that he is with God. He is no longer in pain & doesn't have to suffer anymore. Whenever I start to get depressed I think of my father & how happy he must be & it gives me great comfort. In time, you may be able to do the same. Just don't isolate yourself to much, even though you probably feel like it but the support of close friends & family is really important at a time like this.

I'll keep you in my prayers!

Answer 3

I believe when a person dies, there spirit lingers to make sure the ones they left behind are ok.
My dad died in January/2006 and I was heartbroken. I lost my best friend and the only person who has been beside me forever. He knew me better than anyone else and was the person who gave me my name and stuck by me thru thick and thin. He knew my soul.
I feel his presence around me sometimes. I see things or hear something that reminds me of him so much. I walked into the garage today where he stored all his stuff and I could feel his presence in the room.
I believe when a person dies, there spirit lingers and they are still here even though their body is gone.
I am sorry for the loss of your father. Its going to take time. Its ok to grieve and cry and feel sad. Your just dealing with a tremendous loss. Remember all the good times and think of your dad when he felt good and was healthy and what a great person he was. He would not want you to remember him sick. He would want you to think of all the good stuff.
I hope my thoughts on this make you feel better.
Peace.

Answer 4

Hello:

I am so sorry to hear that your father passed away,you have my deepest sympathy and condolances. Both of my parents have passed on,my mother passed away at age 47 and my father passed away at the age of 56 years old. My mother died from brain,bone,and breast cancer,and my father died of a sudden heart attack.

No matter what anyone tries to tell you,time does not heal your hurt and heartache,I don't care what anybody tries to tell you,it just feels like you miss the person who has passed on more and more with each passing holiday,special occasion,etc... My mother passed away before my daughter was born,and I would have given anything for her to be there with me after I had my daughter. My dad only lived until my daughter was two years old,and even though they couldn't put a broken heart as a cause of death,I truly believe that is what he died from.

Holidays and special occasions are very difficult for me because while everybody else is celebrating,I just don't feel like celebrating,but I keep a smile on my face for my little girl,because I don't want her to know how sad and lonely I really am without my parents. My daughter doesn't have any grandparents,so it is really difficult having to explain to her why all of her friends have grandparents,and she doesn't have any.

I just want you to know that you will be in my thoughts and prayers. It has been nine years since my mother passed away and six years since my dad passed away,and I still miss them and think about them each and every day.

Answer 5

I am sorry about your father ( God rest his soul ) I still do the same wait for my father to walk in, he passed away over 8 years ago. There are many times when I am doing something either at work or a project, I ll hear his voice telling how it should be done, strangely enough hes always right.... I think alot of that depends on how much Love was shared between the two of you. My Grandfather passed away about 7 years ago, honestly I only think of him rarely, and when I do they are not that pleasant, he use to get so drunk and beat on my grandmother. And my Grandmother I think of here and there.

Answer 6

Approx 3 1/2 years

Answer 7

Bella, I'm deeply sorry to hear the news of your Father passing away. There is no easy way to get over it .
My Father died when I was 9 and I'm now in my 50's
and still remember every detail of that day. The passing of time will help you with the "shock" you mentioned Bella ,But you will always miss him - it's just natural to feel that way over the loss of any family member or loved ones.
Take care.

Answer 8

I will give the shocking part later....My dad was wonderful. He knew me like a book. He very much loved me. He died after collapsing in a local mall. Heart trouble which could have been fixed if he would of went in for surgery. He died in 99. I have mom waiting to join him. She still gets around but is almost eighty. We get along great. I hate like hell to have to break bad news to her and recently I had to tell her I, her oldest daughter, has cancer.
When we were at the cemetary for the service-my sister requested a flower from the spray. The colorguard personnell bent down and asked if we wanted any as a remembrance...They gave me a flower and took my dad...my dad would not of let that happen and I have been trying to fix this problem in my mind (shock)...

Now the bad news: I have a sister in law that lives for herself-her thoughts are inside the box of thoughts of herself only. It was mentioned that when her brother died she told her parents that when one of them die the other goes into a nursing home.. nice daughter huh?
That is the ups and downs of accepting death.

Answer 9

My Mum past away sept 7 from liver, lung and kidney cancer. She was diagnosed in May this year it was a very aggressive cancer. I know exactly how you feel. I still am in shock that this has happened. It doesnt feel real even though i know she is gone. I dont cry much, i just feel numb. I was Mum carer so i saw alot of horrific things when she was sick i just watched her fade away. I know your situation is different, your dads was alot quicker. please contact me if you want to.. the more support the better.

Answer 10

I don't think I would ever get over that. It's going to take a very long time. It may be best to just think that he's in a much happier place. My oldest sister once had a near death experience. She almost drowned but she said the moment she almost died she felt complete peace and happiness. So he's most definitely not suffering, he's probably feeling more amazing then he has ever felt. It's possible.