how come when some guys find out that you like them..they just stop talking to you and ignore you....when they can just say that they dont like you..and still be friends with you??
2007-09-26 12:36:50 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
i dont know
it just feels awkward
but youre right we should man up
and just try to be friends
2007-09-26 12:40:35 · answer #1 · answered by sayian_98 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's because women have a way of turning this into an uncomfortable situation. Although women claim they have the right to ask a guy out, they won't. Instead they "send messages" as if we were psychics. Since you have usually given us nothing to act on, there is nothing that we can reasonably do to open a dialog about it. Compare it to this:
I asked a woman out about a month ago:
"Would you have dinner with me sometime?"
"I'm sorry, I can't. I have a fiancee."
"Good for you!"
"Thank you."
Smiles on both sides, all open and aboveboard, nobody's feelings got hurt. If she was lying about the fiancee, she's entitled to do that. We still chat when we see each other. In fairness, I WAS once asked out by a woman. We dated for a while, it went nowhere, and we'll talk if we see each other.
It gets worse, though. When women DO decide to express themselves, they seem to go overboard. I once got a message on my answering machine from a woman that I met only a couple of times at a friends house. She declared her belief that we were "soulmates" and please don't simply ignore this message. First, if I never hear the term "soulmates" again it will be too soon. She knew nothing about me and the term "soulmates" has come to mean "horny woman." Second, one has no right to demand a response to something like that. An answer to a clear invitation is expected as a matter of politeness; putting your heart on your sleeve and then demanding a response is completely out of line.
Right now, I'm sitting on a letter that I'm not sure about answering. It runs at least four pages, both sides, and I only had to skim the first page to get the gist. This is a person who I knew fairly well but hadn't seen for years, and now she's telling me that she "felt" that I wanted to reach out and kiss her. So now SHE'S claiming psychic abilities. If I wanted to do that, I would have. I wouldn't even consider answering this letter if we hadn't known each other for so long.
This could be condensed into a few rules:
1. You have every right to ask a person out but no right to start by asking how that person feels about you
2. Never ask for a date by declaring how you feel about that person. Compliments are not only alright; they are positively welcomed.
3. If you're turned down, you may be REASONABLY persistent. You have no right to second guess any reasons you're given as to why you were turned down. You don't really have a right to a reason, either. You may not want to hear the real reason, so accept whatever you're told graciously. This other person was nice enough to spare your feelings, knowing how difficult this all is. Only a jerk would disregard that kind of considerate treatment.
4. You are not psychic. If you think that you can send messages or determine what others are thinking, a psychiatrist can turn you onto the best meds currently available to treat this.
2007-09-26 23:54:44 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It does so not work like that. A shy guy would never say anything, even if he knew you liked him(though he would never know for sure). Most other guys would not believe it so they will ignore you. And the ones that do, still don't know what to say or do...the safe thing to do is nothing.
Most guys can't be 'just friends', especially with a good looking girl....
2007-09-26 19:40:55 · answer #3 · answered by null_the_living_darkness 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋