i mean for stuff like bad words and coming home 4 hour late each night this has benn going on for about 39 days so should i spank her if she is late tonight if u dont spank dont answer
2007-09-26 11:22:01 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Hey, guess what? Yahoo says I can answer any question I wish to.
If you are going to play in Yahoo yard, you have to play by Yahoo's rules.
NO CHILD SHOULD EVER BE SPANKED.
And why the hell haven't you done something about it long before now?
2007-09-26 15:13:56 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋
Spanking is definitely not the answer. Take it from Abby M. DUH!
Don't allow her to close her bedroom door for 1 week for each occurance (kids at that age value their privacy). Also take away all privileges for 1 week such as cell phone, telephone (both incoming and outgoing calls), use of a computer and also tighten up on the curfew hours (require her to be home 1 hour earlier for each occurance).
Believe me this method will get her attention and put her actions into shape much quicker and more effectively than a spanking. Even if you did spank her the effects only last for a few minutes and she needs much longer to think about whether or not it will be worth it to repeat her wrongdoings. Someday the 2 of you will look back and laugh rather than have her always carry with her the fact that you caused her physical pain which is inexcusable....... think about it, she is your flesh and blood and I'm sure the most precious part of your life. Whatever you do, do it with love and lots of hugs and kisses.
2007-09-30 13:57:09 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Spank her if you want, youre the parent. You should have done something about it by the 2nd day, take away the kid's cell phone if she has one.
Also lock her out and tell her to hit the road if she comes in like that, but warn her that you are going to do it first , then do it.Reduce her privileges big time.
Make it clear that she has no right to be out if you say no.
At 39 days and counting, she has made it clear that she will not listen to you. It will get harder before it gets better because it was not stopped long ago.
Pick her up right after school and get a counselor from school involved in getting to the problem she has with authority.
2007-09-26 20:32:54 · answer #3 · answered by Capsaicin 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I grew up old school and I believe in a good ol' fashion spanking. But I don't know how effective it will be on a 14 year old. She may turn around and beat YOU up!
I saw on the news this one lady had the same type of issues with her daughter (maybe a little worse) but she used public humiliation to take care of that problem......and I was "HELL YEAH THAT'S A MOM!!!" But that's just me. She made a sign that read "I am an irresponsible girl because I ditch school and have bad grades" (or something to that effect) And made her stand out on a street corner for everybody to see. A few weeks later they followed up with her and her daughter was doing muuuuuch better in school.
I know this may sound a little extreme but you get the idea.
I just recently started working at a police department and we get Runaway and Missing Persons reports all the time and it's tireing. They have to bring the kids in here after they show up so they can be removed from the system and I just about want to slap the crap outta them. Kids this age staying late and not coming home are not "just hanging out", they are doing drugs, having sex, breaking some kind of law (graffiti, property damage, etc). I just saw a report with 6 kids breaking into a home and destroying it, they are all going to Juvy Jail for Burglary of Habitation.
You need to take care of this problem NOW before you have to go see your daugter in jail, or have to pay for an abortion.
Good luck!!!
2007-09-26 18:37:12 · answer #4 · answered by texicangirl 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I don't agree with spanking any 14 year old. Its going to compound the situation. I think you have lost control of the situation, I am sorry to say. Somewhere along the road of life her friends beat you to controlling her. I have 5 ground up daughters. Early on in life I got control of the situation but that was done though alot of talking. One thing I do suggest. Don't ever try to be a friend to your kids. Be a parent. I am sure that the majority of people here will disagree with me, but I speak from experience. Win her over through conversation and resist the tempation to cut her down or her friends.
2007-09-26 19:00:47 · answer #5 · answered by Tinman12 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Spanking her obviously isn't working if you are still having a problem for, an amazing 39 days, are you marking it down on the calendar? Take away privlieges and ground her, spanking her at 14 isn't working and probably never well.
And yes, it's wrong to spank her.
2007-09-26 18:39:08 · answer #6 · answered by Zyggy 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I think 14 is a bit old for spanking. It might shock your child, but be careful. Now days it seems like way too many kids are freaking out over punishment and calling the police on their parents. I am a spanker, but were I in your shoes, I'd have a serious talk. In a gentle, but very serious tone about what is going on. Tighten the leash.
2007-09-26 18:31:05 · answer #7 · answered by mama 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
No! Spanking at any age is dangerous to your child. hitting is too. What are you teaching them by doing that? A good punishment when your angry at someone is hitting. Why do you thnk a lot of kids hit and stuff when they are young? They were punished that way, so now they punish that way.
You need to ground her in some way.
I agree with the above, Why are you only doing this now? As a parent, you need to take care of things as they happen. Kids will push limits, and it's your job to set them right.
EDIT: I love the amount of thumbs down I'm getting because I am not for spanking or hitting. I beg you ,please use logic and think it through. Kids are taught to hit others when they get hit.
2007-09-26 18:57:05 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
If she has a live-in mother, let the mother (who likely worried a lot when she comes home so very late) ... let the mother take your work belt to her bare backside -- in a very memorable way.
Likely, as her father, you would be safer and it probably would be better for you to impose some very significant restrictions.
"Dad, I want ...."
"Dad, I 'need' ..."
Really, though, it would seem you need to get to the bottom of the problem -- and I do NOT mean HER bottom!!
Why the change in her behavior?
Why has her language became so "bad" ... and is it just "teen-age slang" or is it profanity or blasphemy?
Likely she is too old for a dose of the Dove in the mouth.
But perhaps you need to try to find out what has happened to all her 'religious' training and upbringing of the last 14 years!!! And "why" it happened.
.
2007-09-27 00:05:04 · answer #9 · answered by Jim 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It's simply not proper. Spanking no longer delivers the message like it did when they were younger. Your punishments must attack the inside of your child. I am NOT supporting doing so, but if it is necessary then start by giving her limitations she can't really get out of or avoid.
2007-09-26 18:58:50 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes, yes. Sometimes, no.
It depends on the child. Incidentally...a single (moderately hard) smack *should* be enough. Taking her over your knee, pulling her drawers down and laying into her would be mucho excessive for most kids. Additionally, in the VAST majority of cases it would also be classifiable as assault.
Ground her...take away privileges (tv, phone - including her cell if she has one, etc), etc.
Incidentally...you should have done this on day #2, not waited almost 7 weeks. Tell her that the next time she does it you will take additional steps - a girl's boot camp for one.
2007-09-26 18:51:42 · answer #11 · answered by jcurrieii 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋