that i'm an atheist? she's a full christian, and i'm really not sure how her response would be. i told my boyfriend (who's also a devoted christian) and he accepts it as who i am....i'm just not sure how to bring it up to my best friend though? any ideas? because i want her to know, i don't want to keep any secrets from her, but i don't want her to bug out or anything either. i'm jsut tired of pretending to be a christian just so she won't find out. like every now and then we'll get on the subject of god and i have to try to keep my mouth shut. and PLEASE for those of you who are going to be like 'just tell her' or 'stupid atheists'......i really don't need that. this is just a simple question, for those of you who are going to bash me please just keep it to yourselves. well thanks in advance!
2007-09-26 11:08:22 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
no this isn't something i've jsut discovered. i've been best friends with her for over a year, i turn to her for everything and i know she'll be there no matter what. but i'm jsut scared she might look at me in a different way if i tell her. i've been an atheist for almost 3 years now, but it's just not something i tell everyone. people either figure it out or i eventually tell them...which i'm trying to do right now.
2007-09-26 11:15:24 · update #1
Since she's a christian, be ready for her to end the friendship.
2007-09-26 11:11:04 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 4⤋
First of all, if she is your best friend and really a friend ...she is going to want to know why you have been "pretending" to be a Christian when you are indeed an Atheist. But, before you do anything...are you sure you are an Atheist? Maybe, you just don't accept all the ideas in your friend's religion and you haven't given this enough study yet. I would encourage you to write down what you definetely don't agree with, any ideas or thoughts you do, and see where this leads you. You might still be an Atheist, or maybe you were/are uncomfortable in your friend's religion. It doesn't necessarily mean that you don't believe. Did something or someone say or do something that caused you to "suddenly" decide to tell your friend 'the truth' about you?! It may not mean anything to your boyfriend right now, because you are not in a serious relationship with him(meaning planning on getting married). If you were/are in this type of relationship, then believe me...your 'lack of the faithful' will start to work on him and it could become a serious issue. But, really...for now don't stress about it. I hope this helped. Whether your friend is a full Christian or not, she should still be your friend 1st and leave the religion out. If you two are close enough to talk about religion, then talk about it and see where it goes. If you don't believe as strongly as she does, you should realize that it is "ok" and doesn't make you less of her friend. If this does affect your friendship in a negative way, then guess what?! She really wasn't your friend. Guard Dog
2007-10-02 18:02:39 · answer #2 · answered by guard dog 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
This site is really an eye opener to me daily!
My life time I have had close friends of different faiths, jewish
people, some other people who never attended a church
regular as children, people who did not believe in God,
people who wanted to believe, people who did not know what to believe. We just accepted each other the way we were! It certainly would be a better world if it was that way now. I guess it is this era every body wants to a know it all
every body wants to be right and want the last word. All it does is make things worse. I believe in God but I do not force my beliefs on any one, and I don't want anyone to force theirs
on me. I like discussion if one is open to discussion, But care less if you believe what I believe, It works for me, and that did
not happen over night, It has been a long journey and the journey is with out an end. No body can force love or God, It
is a choice. Whatever! Blessings
2007-10-04 04:59:58 · answer #3 · answered by jenny 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you're right, you can't "just tell her." if she's a hard-core, bible-toting, choir-singing christian, you'll lose her no matter how delicately you put it. If she's you're average christian, bring it up in stages. Like when she's talking about God, you can express a little bit of how you see things differently/don't fully believe that.../gee that's weird, etc. Expect her to go all out and hold a vigil for you or something, at first. But touchy subjects like these are best determined by actions, not words. Always show her that you are her friend, no matter what. You guys believe different things, and that will be respected (that means noooo converting either way!), but it will not be used as an excuse to be lazy and close off somebody simply because they see things differently. You can still do things together. You can even go to church with her, if that's what she likes doing. Not as some "masquerade," but because you respect her and like spending time with her.
Yes, there's always a possibility of losing a friend, but if she's a real friend, she's worth fighting for, don't you think?
2007-10-04 11:10:26 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It must be hard living a lie and faking it.
I don't know any xians or even any christians let alone Christians but then I'm in Oz and we don't do religion like USians do - it's a sorta private thing some people do with their 'god'.
With the little understanding I have of xians and or fundies they do hypocrisy well - especially when it comes to Jesus' 'love one another' commandment.
All I can say is, be prepared to lose a friend; there's no getting round the fact you're gonna have to 'just tell her' or you can fake it but eventually that'll start to wear thin but ... if you've managed to fake it for one year with your 'best friend who would do anything for you' why not keep on with it?
It must suck to live in a place where everyone seems to judge you on whether you’re religious or not – it doesn’t seem very free let alone tolerant to me.
Good luck.
2007-09-26 12:33:44 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Why you have chosen not to believe in God is beyond me. There is more proof today of a Creator than ever before, have ever considered that in all the years of recorded history man has never created one thing. Never. we have invented but never created. Doesn't that make you think?? Ask yourself this, why is Isreal the vocal point of the whole world, a small country the size of Rhode Island, why does every nation in the world have something to say about this little country. I mean I would say go see your Pastor or Priest but its obvious that if you are going to church someone is not reaching you. You can honestly say deep down in your heart there is no God? Did you know the Bible says we are all sinners. Are you saying you do not sin, Only thru the Bible does anybody sin, if there was no Bible you could do anything, there would be no laws. Think about it!!! This country was built on the Bible. No state could become a part of the United States unless it believed in God. So now because of technology you believe they have proved there is no God. The Bible has always said to be saved you must have faith, From the very begining the Bibles about Abraham, and Abraham believed God, and it was accounted unto him for righteousness. With all our Technology we still have created nothing. All the parts where all ready here. God spoke the world into existance. 2000 years ago he sent his son Jesus Christ to die on a cross for us, to wash away our sins. Romans 3:10 says none is righteous, no not one. You and me are sinners. The only way to Heaven is thru Jesus Christ, Here is a simple sinners Prayer, I ask you to consider its words. Dear Jesus, I know and confess that I am sinner in need of salvation. I believe you died on a cross at calvery and arose from the grave to wash away my sins, I ask you right now to come into my heart and save me, I pray this Prayer believing in the name of Jesus Amen. If you prayed this prayer with a sincere heart you are now a child of God, rejoice that your name is written in the Lambs book of Life. Jesus will now send his Holy Spirit to come and live in your heart and guide you into all truth. If you have any questions just send me an email, God Bless YOU!!
2007-10-04 08:59:02 · answer #6 · answered by victor 7707 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It is always best just to be yourself. It can be hard at times. If your friend is a true Christian, then she knows she should love everyone for who they are and not discriminate.
You should also ask your friend to respect your beliefs as you respect hers. But there is no way to know the outcome of the conversation without having it.
I am Christian, but my son is agnostic. I love him the same regardless.
I wish you the best!
2007-09-26 11:16:53 · answer #7 · answered by photography nut 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i think that if she is a true christian then she wont judge you, and she will still love the same. of course she will worry about you, i know because i have friends that i'm not to sure what they believe, because they aren't even sure themselves, and it kills me to believe in my heart that if they died right now that i would never see them again and they would spend eternity in hell. i'm not going to lie, i pray for them regularly that they will find god and get saved, and i can bet that when your friend finds out, she will do the very same thing. it will only be because she cares so much about you, not because she wants you to be someone else. but if you 2 are such good friends now then that shouldn't change later. just tell her exactly what you believe and why, tell her your sorry for lyting all this time about your own beliefs, you just didn't know how to tell her and you thought that you would lose her friendship if she had found out, give her time to process it, and let her know you still want to be best friends. i'll pray for you, even if you don't believe, i do, and i truly believe that prayer works, i have seen it work so much in my life, and i believe that if i pray for your friendship then it could definitly help. i'm sure you don't want to hear this but have you thought about why your best friend and boyfriend are both christians, how does that just happen, i believe that god has placed these people in your life for a reason, he is reaching out to you and trying to get you closer to him through his children. i think you should really consider that, god has a plan for all of us, and he places certain people in our lives for certain reasons, to fulfill his plans. if he wants you to be with him, then this is why he has blessed you with these wonderful people at this time in your life. god bless.
2007-10-04 04:30:47 · answer #8 · answered by ? 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know you didn't want to hear "just tell her." But...
The next time she begins a conversation about God, be honest and tell her that you don't share her beliefs and why. Don't be confrontational, just be truthful and open to her responses.
You might not be able to stop her from "bugging out." It'll probably be a shock to her, and she *will* worry about you and 'saving your soul.'
I don't think you should hide it from her. If she really is your friend, she'll adjust - and you may have to do some adjusting, too.
Sorry, but "just tell her" is my advice.
2007-09-26 11:15:00 · answer #9 · answered by milomax 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Make a pie and write I am an Atheist on top then give it to her I know this seem silly but everybody loves pie. And she probably will accept you. Just make sure that she understand the eating of pie is conditional on the fact that she accepts you the way you are.
2007-09-26 11:16:05 · answer #10 · answered by deztructshun 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Don't be surprised. She may choose to walk away. She will probably feel torn, and will have to choose between you and God. I have lost what I thought were good friends because of my faith, but if it is between them and God, then there is no contest. I choose God.
"Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness?
And what accord has Christ with Belial? Or what part has a believer with an unbeliever?"
2 Cor. 6:14,15
2007-10-04 08:58:33 · answer #11 · answered by byHisgrace 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋