Hear me out before judging: Isn't it (most of the time not all of the time) pathetic that people take their ex's back? I mean, there are only 2 reasons you would take someone back. 1)You lacked the intelligence to realize who you really loved. You let yourself get so caught up in everything that you foolishly threw someone away. 2) You are so lazy in a relationship that rather than work through something together, you dump them and take them back after you get over yourself.
I mean I realize sometimes people just need to grow and I am not talking about them. I mean, if you are careless enough to dump someone, remember you don't know if you could get them back down the road, shouldn't that person you dumped not want to be taken back?
If someone you loved didn't want to work things out or lacked the vision to realize that they want you, do you really want to marry them and trust them for the rest of your life? They dumped you once, maybe next time it will be worse...
2007-09-26 08:36:07 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Taking an ex back is going backwards,,,always move forward
2007-09-26 08:39:21 · answer #1 · answered by iamsilvermoon 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
That's an interesting question.
People connect for all sorts of reasons, and sometimes it works; sometimes it doesn't. I think you have to look at the events and the timing before you can made a judgment call. You may meet the right person at the wrong time and need a chance to grow before you can go back and try it again.
But I see what you are saying. If you are with someone and they dump you for whatever reason, why would you want them back? Especially if they treated you like garbage. I don't think that's love; I think that's an obsession, and it's not healthy.
And if you dumped them, why would you suddenly want them back? What has changed that suddenly makes them okay when they weren't okay before? That's kind of an obsession too. You don't really want them; you just don't want anyone else to have them.
I can't think of too many really good reasons to go back to an ex after a breakup. If things have escalated to the point where you need to breakup, then I can't see what is going to make such a drastic turnaround in the relationship to draw you back into it.
Interesting question. Don't know that there IS an answer, but good question.
2007-09-26 08:48:15 · answer #2 · answered by JD 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you are wrong, I think people take someone back because they are following their hearts and not their head, although they logically know in their mind that some things do not change and that some damage can never be undone, they have love in their hearts and want to try again. And if the person comes back, the feelings are mutual. Some times the other person does not come back, whether invited or not, then there are those people who cannot live with each other, yet cannot live without each other.....another choice of the heart.
2007-09-26 08:43:29 · answer #3 · answered by KatGotHerTongue 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Be careful, this situation is not cut and dry, its case by case, under circumstances where the infraction was something small, talking it over might be all that is needed. Sometimes it cant be fixed. Its important to at least go back and figure out exactly what happened in a non-judgemental way first and then take responsibility for your role in screwing up the relationship, this is for both, because you cant fight with yourself, you gotta have two people fighting to mess up a relationship, so two people made bad decisions. I hope that most of us can at least figure out how to be friends with our ex's, learn from it and move on or fix whats ailing us. Love is what its supposed to be about. If you go to Askmen.com we dont even need partners to have mind blowing orgasms...look into tantra also...its true. :) Take Care.-Rachel.
2007-09-26 12:29:51 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Hey there Steve...
I can totally relate to what you are saying.. I myself have taken my X back several times... and you are right.. when you really think about it.. its like... WHAT ??? I can honestly say that the reason I took my X back was... because I thought that I didn't give 100 % in the relationship.. well needless to say..it didn't work.. so here I am single... out there in the dating world... learning that a relationship is all about giving and receiving....and I am having the time of my life !!!!
2007-09-26 08:55:25 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well said!!!!!! One other point that revolves around what you said is: Even though you know what you have isn't the best thing for you, you know what you have, meaning , if you go out looking for someone new you never know what you're gonna get. At least with a not so good person you know you know what to expect. Sometimes that's easier then the unknown.
2007-09-26 08:42:05 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
this is weird that i came across this...
this is my exact situation and confusion.
it is the situation where the other person did
not realize what they had till they lost it.
the reason i took them back was that I saw that
they really did love me and know me better
than anyone else. We match so well together
that It didnt matter to me that he was confused
because everyone makes mistakes.
The main reason I took them back was because I saw
a change in them, even after they were sure i wouldnt
ever be with them again.
2007-09-26 08:42:09 · answer #7 · answered by maci 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
People change. My ex and I broke up because we were having differences, and after a little while we got back together. We are still together to this very day, things are going great... and since the break up it has been almost 3 years!
2007-09-26 08:44:45 · answer #8 · answered by ♥Infatuation 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I have taken back ex's before... But yeah on guy was totally desperate. I broke up with him 3 times a week and HE would BEG AND CRY... But it was a free ride for me... Finally my mom had to run him off...
2007-09-26 08:39:11 · answer #9 · answered by angel2005_2001 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
To be honest, taking back ex's really isnt like that.
maybe it is for you.
usually when the dumper breaks up with the dumpee its for a dumb reason and they realize that later. So the dumpee still has feelings for them and gets back together with 'em.
im with my ex right now.
and its not because we're lazy or anything
2007-09-26 08:46:47 · answer #10 · answered by Elly 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋