I run a home daycare and need advice on picky eater....?

Question

I have a 2 (almost 3) year old boy in my daycare that refused to eat anything besides fruit. I supply breakfast and lunch and 2 snacks every day for the children. I make up a menu and give to the parents the week before. Well this particular boy will usually push his plate away and tell me he doesn't like whatever it is and get upset. I do serve fruit with breakfast and lunch which he will eat. So if he doesn't eat the rest of his meal he will go hungry. The mom tells me she usually serves him whatever he wants sepratley from what they eat for dinner. I refuse to do that because than the other kids will want what he has and besides I am introducing foods that he will not eat at home. Do you think I am doing the right thing by serving him what everyone else is having and not catering to what he wants. By the way he is fine weight and height wise.

Answer 1

Don't cater to this kid...your life is busy enough with the other kids. If he is hungry, he will eat what you've made for him. You are a daycare provider, not a cook at a diner. Now, get off the internet and go take care of the kids. **kidding**

Answer 2

I have been a child care provider in my home for 20 years. There does always seem to be at least one picky eater in the bunch, doesn't there? I very much agree that you are doing the right thing. Your job is to plan, prepare, and serve healthy meals and snacks and it is the child's job to chose whether to eat it or not. While it is not always possible, I do try to serve at least one component of each meal/snack that I know most of the kids like. Sometimes, though, one of the kids simply won't care for or want anything on his/her plate. I, too, provide breakfast, lunch, and 2 snacks throughout the day. Personally, I feel the mother is making things worse by being a short-order cook for her child. He has already learned not to worry about eating at your house because he knows mom will give him what he wants when he gets home. Early in my career as a child care provider, I used the "try one bite of everything on your plate" rule, but it was very hard and often made for a stressful meal time. Over the years the rule has evolved into the "this is what is for breakfast/lunch/snack, eat what you want, make sure you are full, because there isn't anything else until the next meal". You are right that you can not make special food for one child without opening it up for all to want something different. That is the main reason I prefer that children don't bring their own food as some child care homes do. One child's PB&J pales in comparison to another child's can of Spaghettios! It works OK for school age children, but toddlers and preschoolers inevitably want what someone else has.

Answer 3

There are going to be foods that some children dislike at times, but that doesn't mean the provider should make something else. Children should learn to eat things even if they don't like them, if they are hungry they need to eat what they are given. But even if they do refuse lunch, usually the time between lunch and snack is just a couple hours so they don't go hungry. Besides, daycare usually have anywhere from 3 to 12 children, and the provider can't possibly make different foods for each child. I have a daycare and I teach the children that you eat food because it makes you healthy, not because you like it. And if you do like it, that is a special treat :) but if a child is picky to the point where they refuse food on a regular basis, then they probably aren't ready for daycare and need a babysitter our nanny instead. Hope it helps :)

Answer 4

My oldest daughter is a picky eater. I give her a choice...she can eat it or not eat it. What is on the table is what she is being offered so if she doesn't eat it she wont have any other options. If she is being stubborn Ill cover the plate with plastic wrap and it stays in the fridge until she says she is hungry. It usually works...shell end up pouting...but shell eat it. You could also make him sit until all of his food is gone. Or, you could tell him after he eats so much of whatever else you are serving he can have some fruit. I dont agree with the mother giving into the child and letting him have whatever. I think you are doing exactly the right thing. If another child sees him getting something else it might cause them to revolt and try to get their way also. I send my daughter to daycare and I would be fine if my day care provider did the same things I did. If she starved, it is her fault. You offered the food to him...it is his choice to eat it. It must be hard to deal with the food likes and dislikes of all those children...good luck to you!!

Answer 5

My wife and I are daycare workers too.
We have the parents provide lunch and snacks. That way the kids will eat what they are used to. The parents also provide an allowance in their childs bag that we can use if we buy them an ice cream or an apple whilst shopping.
With picky kids it can be a way for them to get control over a situation. We let the child go hungry. It seems cruel. And we notify the parents what we are doing.
After a couple of days they tend to eat.
One child was very picky. The child left our care and happily ate with the other carer. My wife and I don't know what it was about our home. or the other under 4year olds that upset her....but were happy to see she was eating. We also have a healthy eating policy. The children need to eat the healthiest thing in their lunch box and we work our way down to crisps if they have been provided.

Answer 6

If all he will eat is fruit when he's with you then let him have his fruit. Kids go through phases just offer him more fruit so he "wont go hungry"

Better yet have the parents pack a sack lunch or bring you foods he will eat if they do this reduce their enrollment fee's. My son is now 16 months old and most of the time he eats exactly what we are eating but there are times he wont so he gets what I know he'll eat. He's also big on fruit. However with my son its generally spicy foods that I make that I will not let him or he wont eat. With my SD she's just all into nothing but junk food and the rule is (shes 7) if you dont eat whats made for dinner/lunch you go without and that means no snacks until the next meal.

Answer 7

My daughter is a very picky eater, I give her a choice to eat what I fix or don't. Kids will not go hungry. When they are hungry they will start eating. She is 4 now and she is starting to try new things. When I had to take her to a Home Day Care the lady that was watching her would fix her peanut butter sandwiches almost everyday. I told her that she would not eat it. So I tried to pack her a lunch. The lady would leave it by the door and not give it to her. So I just took her out of the Day Care. I think you should tell the Mom to pack a lunch for him on days she knows he is not going to eat what you fix. Then, when she don't pack a lunch, He needs to eat what you have made. He will learn. Good Luck.

Answer 8

One of the most interesting thing about children with parents who constantly give in, is that they will absolutely follow the rules of somebody else, when they fully understand that they have no choice. I think you are 100% right to serve him what the other children are having. He knows that he can get what he wants, AT HOME. He needs to understand now, that the world is not always going to cater to him. This, of course is a small lesson, but consistency with this type of lesson is crucial. He needs to know that when he is with you, and at your house, it's either this (what you are serving) and afterward he can enjoy some fruit, or nothing at all. I agree, that if he chooses nothing, it will only be for so long. Stick to your guns!

Answer 9

I've had this problem before. I don't cave. He gets what you serve! If he doesn't like it he goes hungry. If he complains to his parents that he's hungry, explain you are not a restaurant and offer nutritious meals, but can't individualize. If they don't like it, they will send him to grandma's where he can be spoiled.

The kids I had were just plain spoiled at home, but they eventually caught on at my house. And, I was even thanked by one parent for all the help I was. They learned to not let their kid steam roll them.

One thing to consider though - does he have gut issues that are causing his pickiness. That is possible. You may suggest to the parents that they have him tested for some things, like phenol intolerance and others. They should discuss the issue with a naturopathic doctor (not an MD) and make sure that it isn't truly health related.

Answer 10

Yes, you are doing the right thing. The mother is just creating a huge problem for herself later. Let him eat the fruit and go hungry. Tell the mother that she can send more fruit if she feels her son isn't getting enough and you can add that to his plate at meal time. She can also start giving him vitamins to help with his nutrition. Good luck!