How young is too young to spank?

Question

My friends husband is spanking her 2 month old twin babies. Everything on here says to start spanking early, but to me this is just plain sick and abusive when they are so tiny. I dont think they are old enough to even do anything deliberately wrong, so I dont think this is right and I plan on going and giving him a strong talking to. They are so little, the biggest is just over 9 lbs! Their butts arent even big enough for two fingers! It makes me feel ill...I know my friend hates it and told her husband to stop. I told her to get away from there if it goes on any further, and told her she could come stay with me for a while. I dont know if I am doing the right thing, but in my heart, I am afraid for the little ones.

I guess I should have told you all that the mom is having severe physical problems due to the birth also...she has a uterine infection and they gave her the wrong antibiotics and now she has colitis along with the infection. The poor girl never gets to eat, he doesnt work...he is a horrible mate. I think that calling me was a cry for help, and thats exactly what I am gonna do...I will go there tonight and see what is most appropriate. I hate to get them into the "system" when there is a chance that I can just get him out of the picture.

Answer 1

You just pissed off about 90% of the people online, I don't mean that they're angry with you, but what you said about your relative spanking a 2month old. When are children ready for spanking? When they're old enough to walk on their own, have a vocabulary of at least 15-20 words and have already begun learning discipline. And, who says start spanking early??? You're right, spanking has no meaning to a baby except that you are causing them pain. Spanking should only every occur AFTER redirection and for the most extreme situations where safety is involved (ie- trying to get out of the car seat). Spanking is really only useful (and not just plain confusing) when used in absolute moderation and under specific circumstances. You can't spank a kid who hits another kid -- obviously this makes no sense. You can't spank a kid's hands for touching things they shouldn't be able to reach under the age of four anyway -- the things they can't have should be removed and/or protected (ie- electrical outlets). You can't spank for tantrums either because 99% of the time it escalates the tantrum. Basically, you're left with having to actually parent your kid and consistently follow through every time. Spanking isn't the problem, the problem is lazy parents. But at 2months old???!!! I'd say that guy needs a time-out, a spanking, and grounding for about 3 months.

Answer 2

So many opinions as to how young a child might be and get "spanked".

I guess a lot depends on the meaning of the world "spanked".

A common definition of "spanking" is "spanking -- a series of vigorous smacks, on the buttocks, with the open hand, or suitable implement, in punishment "

If younger than 4 years then DEFINE what you mean by "spanking"!!

Two months old ... NO acceptable definition.

Eight to 12 months old, possibly ONE LIGHT tap on the back of their hand.

The couple mentioned are in serious problems and need intervention ... probably don't even know a clergyperson, let alone a reputable one. Do the twins have any competent grandparents?

Spanking at 2 months old??
Better it be 12 year olds!!

Answer 3

I think that 2 months is a little young to spank. However I think a lot of people of the misconception that babies stay babies forever. Babies are people and if you start talking to them at a young age they will learn right from wrong by age 1. I started disciplining my children from the very start, however slapping a hand maybe around 6 months when they started crawling and touching things they were not supposed to. After age 3 I didn't have to spank because I had taught them at a young age what was and was not expected from them. I can not think of something that a 2 month could be doing that would warrant a spanking. Point babies are people and should be treated as such from the beginning.

Answer 4

Two months old?! Though I am not anti-spanking, that is too young! I think spanking is appropriate punishment for children above the age of 2 or 2 1/2, when then can learn from their mistakes and realized and understand what they did was wrong. At two months, what could the children be doing to deserve a spanking?? You should contact Child Services because that is bordering on abuse.

Answer 5

He is abusive.Call child welfare! I would say 3 is plenty young to spank.Their bottom is the only place to spank with a small switch or flat hand.Don't spank for everything.Just things that are truly wrong and destructive and they've been told is wrong.I know the new teaching is no spanking but I was a stubborn hardheaded child and time out would have been a laugh to me.If I had never been spanked I would probably be Emailing from prision instead of my apartment.

Answer 6

That isn't spanking---it is abuse, pure and simple.Spanking is an attempt to punish misbehavior.

It is IMPOSSIBLE for a 2 month old child to misbehave.

Repeat that last sentence a few times and then say it to your friend. A two month old child has absolutely NO control over their behavior. NONE. So hitting them serves what purpose? None. Unless you're frustrated and looking for a punching bag and babies are NOT punching bags.

Hitting an infant is cruel, sick,abusive and illegal and the mom has GOT to get those kids away from him NOW.

She should have her head examined for staying with him after he hit the kids just once. Please inform her that she will lose these children unless she does something immediately----because they will be dead or a social service agency will take them away from her and she will go to jail WITH hubby because she stood by and allowed this to happen.

If you are her friend, drive to her house grab her and the kids and drive away today. "spanking" a two month old baby is completely insane. Get them out before they are permanently damaged.

Answer 7

2 months? Sorry, but that is ABUSE.

The first time I spanked my son was when he was 2 years old, when he was old enough to know that no, ment no.

At 2 months what could a newborn do to deserve a spank. You may want to call Child Protective Services...they need some help.

Answer 8

That is too young in my eyes. He does need to stop. It is possible for this to lead into abuse with him starting at this age. When to spank your children at a young age is when they are old enough to climb on top of counters, run across the street, grab items and hit with them, etc..

The first spanking I gave my daughter was when she climbed on top of the T.V. , could have fell and knocked the VCR on top of her. After spanking her I let her know why, went into my bedroom and cried. It was my first child and the first time I had ever spanked one. Although I knew I did the right thing it still hurt me sooo bad. The second time I spanked her was when she took off running across the street. No cars where coming at that time, but I sat there with her until one did and showed her why she is not to do that. I cried after that one also, but the reason I cried that time was I kept thinking about 'what if I didn't see her and a car did go by' Both of these spankings was when she was 4 years old and I will never forget them. She is 16 now, and if I have to spank her for disrespect I still to this day have to go into my room afterwards and let myself know I did the right thing, not the wrong.

Answer 9

2 months old is definitley too young to spank! Those poor babies! A child that age certianly does not know what they are doing and are not doing it on purpose.

I am borderline about spanking to begin with, but I would say it should never start until the child truly understands what they are doing and can understand that spanking is a consequence to their actions!

You sound like you are a good friend, your friend is lucky to have your support.

Answer 10

Children don't have the memory and the concept of right or wrong until they are about 2-3 years old and even then it's sketchy.

Spanking children that young is abuse. That's horrible.

You should consider contacting the authorities if the mother is too weak to.