Hi guys. I guess I'm posting this here because the "Weddings Section" is where I hang out the most here on Yahoo Answers.
Last night, I found out my Mom was diagnosed with Thyroid cancer. We are not yet sure what stage or what type of cancer it is...but the Dr.s say it is very treatable with a good cure rate.
I'm doing my best to be supportive, willing to help my Mom with her appointments, or help her with anything I can do. I know she needs surgery, then needs treatments.
Mom has great chances to be cured. This is one of the easiest cancers to treat in early stages. I'm just stuck in such a depression right now...I'm scared. I watched my grandma die from breast cancer...and I don't want to lose my mother...although I know there is nothing I can do to "fix" this.
I should be getting my Save the Date magnet envelopes ready, but I can't even think about my wedding. How can I be positive and shake off this depression? I can't find a "hopeful" spirit....I'm so scared...
2007-09-26 06:29:42 · 19 answers · asked by Kat 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Mom is doing ok...she needs to schedule her surgery...there is really nothing I can do to help her right now, and I think that is part of why I'm so frustrated. I feel helpless. Mom told me to keep busy, and focus on positive things...which is why I probably should work on the envelopes for my magnets to be mailed out..(I already have the magnets)...but I'm feeling so lethargic...I just want to go home and hide.
2007-09-26 06:31:18 · update #1
Thank you all for the posts so far. Yes, I am fully aware this is not really a wedding specific question...but I'm a "regular" here in Weddings...and I feel much better hearing from familiar names (Luv ya Blunt...thank you so much for your support) than I would find in other areas of this bulletin board. I did post this in the "Cancer" section...but I have not gotten nearly as much of a response. I have lots of friends to support me..but right now I'm at work...and I have been really feeling alone.
2007-09-26 06:50:27 · update #2
Hi Kat, unfortunately, I know more about "cancer" and "weddings" than I care to. I got married July 27th of this year and was diagnosed with advanced stage uterine cancer 2 weeks later. My honeymoon was postponed till a later date so I could go to doctors and start my chemotherapy. I was diagnosed too late for me to even harvest eggs for future chances of children via a surrogate, and will have a total hysterectomy before the end of the year fo all goes well. I can't tell you how much I sympathize with you. One thing I have learned through all this is to savor every moment you have. It's hard, but try not to let fear of what "may" happen ruin happy moments with your mom. I can tell you one thing, in some ways, cancer is much easier for the person who has it. I am much more positive and calm than my family, who is busy worrying about me. I understand your fear, but you don't get any re-do's in life...so enjoy your wedding planning with your mom, be positive and your mom will feed off that. A strong happy spirit is key to keeping her body strong and getting her through this. All my wishes of luck and health to you both!
2007-09-26 08:11:30 · answer #1 · answered by MelB 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I know it's really scary. I found out I had thyroid cancer last year, at the same time I found out I was pregnant. So I know what it's like to have something exciting and scary happening at the same time. Cancer is such a loaded word that it's impossible not to freak out. But everything you've heard is correct, it's very curable and one of the "good" cancers to get. I had the surgery and radioactive iodine over a year ago and have felt just like my old self ever since.
Your mom will probably go through some ups and downs. I stayed mostly positive but the worst part was the waiting. Once the day of the surgery came I thought I would be nervous but I wasn't at all. I was just so relieved to have the day there and know the cancer would be gone.
It helped me a lot to have people around me that were very supportive and positive. Not blindly positive, but realistic that this is a curable cancer and everything should be fine. When my mom or my husband did have a few moments where they seemed really worried that got to me. It's hard to explain but it worried me that I was worrying them. So don't fake it, but try to do whatever you can to be positive with your mom. I think the other person's advice to involve her in the wedding planning is a really good idea. If nothing else this whole cancer thing is a very strong reminder that family is what matters most - what's better than a wedding to celebrate that?
2007-09-26 14:00:16 · answer #2 · answered by cmary 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My mother has had thyroid cancer twice before... I know that doesnt sound reassuring because that means it came back... but the point is that she made it through. She takes medications daily to make up for the missing hormones from the thyroids, but other than that she is a typical woman. My mom was very strong through the whole thing and I just stood by her. Its scary, but if you allow it to cause you to fall into a depression, it may affect your mother in a way you dont want it to. Be positive... usually the people who make it through tough times the easiest are those who act like nothing ever went wrong.
Maybe planning your wedding is a blessing in disguise because it can help keep your mind off of the negatives. Until a doctor tells you that it ISNT treatable, act as if she has a cold. In cases like your mom's, sugeries and treatments are very successful...
Best wishes to the both of you! Be strong.
2007-09-26 07:38:57 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I know you have already heard this, but....Thyroid cancer, although it IS still cancer, is generally thought of as one of the easiest cancers to treat. In all liklihood, she will be 100% fine.
What they will do is remove her thyroid gland (this is the best chance for full recovery) and she will need to take thyroid hormone replacement for life. That's one pill (if on Synthroid) or two (if on Cytomel or Armour) per day.
Although it is true that not all people on thyroid hormone replacement therapy feel as good as they did before (whether they need it due to cancer, autoimmune thyroid disease, whatever), many do find they feel OK. The key is to work with her doctor to find the right dose and best hormone replacement supplement for her. There are a few options, and her doctor may have her try more than one.
Regardless, she will be in remission after surgery, unless the cancer has spread already or has developed in another organ.
That said, cancer is still cancer, and those with thyroid cancer still struggle with the process like anyone else with any other form of the disease. Your mom may want to check out
http://thyca.org/
Best Wishes!
P.S. Take some time to personally deal with what's going on. Your friends and family will understand if your save the date cards are a little late. You can also ask your 'maids to help, that's what they're for! Or, you may want to work on wedding stuff for a little bit each day, just to get your mind off things.
2007-09-26 06:45:12 · answer #4 · answered by reginachick22 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry for your difficulty right now - you've got to be so stressed out. What I would do would be to involve your mom in your wedding plans. Take your magnets and the envelopes and whatever else over to her house (ask first!), and you can both put them together. This will give you quality time with your mom, give you a chance to keep an eye on how she's really doing, and give your mom a sense of involvement in your big day. I'm sure she could use the distraction from her illness. Look forward to getting to share this celebration with your mom - you're lucky and so is she! If you need to talk with someone, speak with a counselor, who can help you through this. Tell your mom you love her; that's all she needs to hear.
2007-09-26 06:45:30 · answer #5 · answered by oj 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Wow....I've had a similar situation to yours. My father had cancer this past year. He also had a very treatable cancer and is doing fine now. He was dianosaged in Feb, had surgery in April and started work again in July.
There is hope.
A friend of mine also had thyroid cancer. She had surgery in June. She has 3 kids and just started going back to work last week.
She is doing great. She has to take some medications, but other then that....she is expected to make a full recovery.
What I would do is stop thinking about your wedding for a week or two.
What do you like to do? Do something fun? Go get a mani/pedi, go buy yourself a new outfit.........do something that will make you feel good.
If you feel good about yourself, then your outlook of the situation will be positive. You need to be positive for your mother. She will see it and be much more at easy.
2007-09-26 06:39:12 · answer #6 · answered by Miss Answers 2007 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hey Kat!
CBT here - well, you're not gonna believe this, but I personally am facing this too - MY thyroidectomy is scheduled for December 18th - they actually don't know if it's a goiter or cancer yet - not until they take it out. And I'm so busy right now traveling for business. Mine is pretty small - they said it was okay to wait. I'm scared too, but It really is one of the easiest cancers to treat & cure - I am in health care - I would NOT wait, if I did not know this FOR SURE! After the surgery, there's no chemo - just radioative iodine treatment to destroy the rest of the thyroid & you are pretty much done. Your Mom is going to be fine & so am I honey - really! So cheer up! Send out those cards & get back to planning your wedding & let me know if I can answer any questions for ya sweetie!
Big hugs!
CBT Princess
2007-09-26 15:14:17 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your mom has excellent advice. The best thing you can do for her is be there for her but try to be positive. Send those envelopes out! Let her know she has to survive because she has to be there on your special day. My grandmother had to have thyroid surgery over 50 years ago and she survived and lived to her 90s. The advances since then are wonderful so I know your mom has more than a fighting chance. I'm not sure when your wedding is but if it is far enough off, you can think of it as a celebration not only for you and your husband but for your mom's survival too.
2007-09-26 06:37:44 · answer #8 · answered by iceemama 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi Kat,
My mom went through the same thing. The doctor found a lump on her thyroid and the tests confirmed that it was cancerous. She had her thyroid removed about 4 years ago and she's been checked by an oncologist regularly ever since. The cancer hasn't spread, so they believe they caught it pretty early.
She has to take a pill every day to replace the chemicals that her thyroid normally produces, but other than that everything is back to normal. She didn't have to go through chemo or anything. We're so relieved that she's ok.
I just wanted to share my experience with you to let you know that it really is very curable and that I'm sure your mom will be just fine.
2007-09-26 06:36:54 · answer #9 · answered by Stacia T 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry to hear about your mother's cancer. Take comfort in the fact her cancer is treatable and that she'll be fine. I felt the same way when my mother had to get a hysterectomy. I just had to trust the doctors and be with my mother in spirit, since I lived across the country at that time. All I can say is focus on the good news in this situation and know that it will all be ok.
My thoughts are with you and your family and I hope these kind words from fellow Wedding posters bring you solace.
2007-09-26 07:28:39 · answer #10 · answered by Peace 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋