My ex-boyfriend dumped me a little after we had sex. I had gone away for a week and when I came back he avoided me. Finally he answered his phone and said it was over. Ofcourse I was mad. I had given my virginity to the guy. Also I thought he loved me, which is something Im not capable of saying to any boyfriend of mine currently(because of that). But that was a few months ago, and we have the same friends and school, ect. I don't hate him anymore, and I don't think he hates me. But we still don't talk to each other or anything like that. Its just really woerd for me considering my 2 best friends and all of my other ones are friends with him (because of me[ironic]). My best friend just asked me a few moments ago, "Why can't you be friends? Its wierd for me." I explained I was willing and had been for a while. I just don't care about him anymore is all. My hearts all healed and has forgotten him. But i need to be fix this for my friends. Help.
2007-09-26 06:06:48 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Forget about fixing this for your friends!!! What about you?!?!? If the shoe was on the other foot, your friends would expect you to understand. Why aren't they understanding?
You gave your virginity to this man. He decided to dump you after he got what he wanted. Why should you become friends with him just to make your friends feel better?
You are doing the right thing by ignoring this guy. Don't get pressured into talking to him just so your friends can feel better.
2007-09-26 06:13:01 · answer #1 · answered by makawao_kane 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately when he sees you he feels guilt knowing that he did something that he knew was wrong, probably at the time he did it. It's wonderful that you have forgiven him. Just remember that forgiveness is something we do for ourselves, not someone else. What you are seeing in your ex is that he has not forgiven himself, and may not even recognize the need to do so. When you hold guilt inside for something you've done it's like a poison to your heart. When someone does something bad to you and you don't forgive them you pollute your heart with hate, with regret, and guilt. True forgiveness gets rid of that poison. Thank God you've got that poison out of you...I hate having to say this, but your experience is repeated way too often. It causes such pain to so many young people. That's why it's best to wait until you're mature enough to handle it. You might be able to handle the rejection, but what about the other person. Perhaps your experience will prevent someone else from doing something they'll regret later.
2007-09-26 06:21:54 · answer #2 · answered by profsparro 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
actually you can always be friends with X's - usually when you have had a "ok" breakup. - as in mutual understanding of why you dont want to be with each other. On the other hand when someone breaks up with you in that manner - i do not know why you want to hang out with him.
If I was you, i would totally ignore him. But as you said, you bear no ill will and you could care less what he does. If you are that sure about it, then best thing for you is to take the first step and tell him so, and that you want to be friends again. If he still continues to act wierd with you. Just move on, you dont need him - and neither does he need you. Get it ?? :)
2007-09-26 06:11:02 · answer #3 · answered by cypherkin 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I sorry to say that your involvement with this person was a random situation, more so on his part. Being a sophisticated woman your mutuality was challenged,you gave him what he want and you lost,because he left.Yes, it has open your eyes to meeting new people or start a new relationship,but don't be afraid,just be cautious and remember you can't build a relationship on sex.
PS: The ego of a man is to have sex with every woman in the world,so NO sex until you are stratified that he is trustworthy.Challenge him...
2007-09-26 06:48:03 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would rethink your friends. They are being kind of selfish and inconsiderate of your feelings because of him. He dumped you after you gave him your virginity. What a jerk! You don't have to be friends with him and if your friends were really YOUR friends, they would avoid him as well.
2007-09-26 06:12:03 · answer #5 · answered by Lioness 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
al lyou need to do is talk to him and tell him what is on your mind. if he doesnt liste nto you then he isnt worth your time. becasue honestly if you want a friend that jsut ignores you then what kind of person are you. now iam not trying to be maen. just really tel him how youhetreated you was wrong and you think that you guys should try to work it out and become frinds.
2007-09-26 06:10:21 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
y would u wanna be friends with an ex!
exes happen for a reason.
tolerate his friendship with ur friends and vice versa but u dont hafta accept him back as ur friend.
or just leave em all n get new ones!!!
2007-09-26 06:11:53 · answer #7 · answered by luvalee2004 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its always hard but you need to put those feelings behind you-- kiss is a great theory to live by KEEP IT SIMPLE STUPID-- make small talk-- say hi-- be corgial your friends will also see you as the "bigger more mature" person if you can put everything behind you.
2007-09-26 06:12:47 · answer #8 · answered by savvyscrapper3 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i think you should have a talk with him.... and tell him that you just want to be his friend.... nothing more because you hate not talking to him...... I've done it before and it worked.... just be honest with him..... and if he still doesn't want to talk to you then don't talk to him.... don't even beg him..... because if he is like most guys trust me he will be back
2007-09-26 06:14:14 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
theres no reason for you to be friends with him, this guy is a diisgusting low life who used you for his own satisfaction and then dumped you. dont be friends with him, what he did to you was WRONG!!!
2007-09-26 06:09:54 · answer #10 · answered by spadezgurl22 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋