When he was over at my house last night, he got up to pee, fell on my floor, and then got up and was incoherent and unresponsive, and he peed all over my floor and rug and didn't respond at all. He then laid down on my bed and peed on my bed! When I slapped him and finally got a response, he threatened to kill me or hurt my family if I took him to the hospital. Obviously I kicked him out this morning and will never speak to him again. My question is, how can I mentally try to get over this? I feel extremely defiled and traumatized, I tried to help him, I provoked none of this, I have never been bad to him. I can't get this out of my mind, obviously I have cleaned up the mess already so the physical evidence is gone, but can someone help me to try to get over this? I feel so wrongly victimized. Thanks.
2007-09-26 05:50:01 · 10 answers · asked by sweetdreams99279 4 in Health ➔ Mental Health
We had already had sex that night, we had great sex and he usually initiates our encounters. We both know that we are not right for each other and are not interested in dating. Please actually answer the question.
2007-09-26 05:57:34 · update #1
Can I add that we broke up a year ago and NEITHER OF US WANT TO GET BACK TOGETHER and I am NEVER SPEAKING TO HIM AGAIN! I am asking for help with what I feel to be mildly traumatic. They are my feelings, not yours. "It's stupid, forget about it" is an answer that is a complete waste of my time, don't bother.
2007-09-26 06:18:46 · update #2
My first thought is that it was the alcohol talking and not him, but sometimes the alcohol brings out the truth. Either way, this guy has issues. Maybe it was a good thing you found out early on that this is the way he is. And if he drinks to that excess, you don't need that either. If you feel any of the threats were genuine, I would also call the police, and just ask them to document that. The police also have access to crisis counselors that can help you through this. Sorry this happened to you.
2007-09-26 05:57:29 · answer #1 · answered by cowboy in scrubs 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
This sucks. It's not stupid for you to be upset. He emotionally abused you. Because you have had an intimate relationship that makes it domestic violence. Most towns have domestic violence response center. They usually offer free advocacy to help you learn how to deal with these situations. If you believe his threats were real and not just "alcohol talking," please contact the police. Aside from that, I hope that you will not let him in your house any more. He does not need to treat you or anyone else like that. He may have an alcohol problem, but for your own safety it is probably best to not deal with that right now. Protect yourself first. If you do call the police to tell them about the threats, you can tell them that he has an alcohol problem and becomes violent when intoxicated. That is good information for them to have. Finally, I have a few suggestions for how to mentally recover. 1. Keep a journal. For some people, writing about their thoughts, fears, etc. can help them to work through things like this.
2. Talk to someone you love and who loves you. This often makes people feel better, and it will be good to have your concerns validated.
3. Try to fill your time with other activities for a while - read a good book, watch a movie, spend time with friends, etc. Distraction may help you to move on also.
Good luck.
Side note: if you are ever in a situation like this again, take the person to the hospital. They could be suffering from alcohol poisoning, and losing someone when you could have helped is a completely different type of trauma that will be very difficult to get over.
2007-09-26 13:48:25 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't take him back and if he doesn't remember what he did, then offer an explanation but do not take him back. If he is capable of saying things like that and gets himself that drunk then he's not good to have around as he could be scary if he gets drunk around you in future. He sounds like he has a drink problem, not necessarily and alcoholic, but some sort of problem.
Jeez, how awful that must have been, having him pee all around your house?
You shouldn't feel traumatised, it's something you will laugh about in a few years time. You haven't been victimised, he was drunk and stupid.
It must feel bad because you liked him and he showed you a side you never knew. You can choose never to see that side again.
Just think about how you want to feel about it. Do you want this to traumatise you for a long time?
You're probably feeling a bit of shock at the moment, but give it a few days and you'll be a lot better. Talk to a friend about it and have a nice fun chat about it too. It is quite funny isn't it? He made an idiot out of himself and you don't have to deal with that anymore! Think yourself lucky that you were strong enough to kick him out and not forgive him so he can do it again and again! Some women don't and end up much worse off.
2007-09-26 12:58:48 · answer #3 · answered by she_noir 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Hi...
First thing i would do is take the alcohol OUT of my dating and relationship life... don't date people who drink like a fish.
Secondly, you know the guy is bad for you, so i think that you could consider cutting all ties and coming to some realizations.
You were victimized to the extent that you allowed him to be that drunk in your home... you can expect anything from someone who is "really drunk"...
take care of YOU... you will get over it.. find things to keep you busy and remind yourself you are starting FRESH today.
take care
2007-09-26 13:52:26 · answer #4 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your response is typical of people who are in an abusive relationship. Where it is all his fault, you instead feel it is your fault. None of it is our fault. Move to a new state where he cant find you and live a new life. That may be the best thing for you.
2007-09-26 12:58:47 · answer #5 · answered by MrKnowItAll 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if you can turn to your close friends and family and share this experiance with them. Let them comfort you and talk to you. Just keep telling yourself that he was no good and some one else will be better for you. You could also find an outlet for your emotions.
2007-09-26 12:59:39 · answer #6 · answered by Malice 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're mad at yourself for letting him back into your life. Something tells me you were hoping to get laid.
And how stupid - if he had died from alcohol poisoning, your *** would be in jail right now.
Chalk it up to life experience and get on with life. And by the way - he should be just as embarrassed after peeing all over the place. I would have taken pictures and posted them online.
2007-09-26 12:54:19 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
He sounds like a total a s s
Just clean up the mess and be done with him.
what a loser
2007-09-26 12:57:35 · answer #8 · answered by tuberk768 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
just take a vacation.
or get to your work
either way I feel its stupid.
just forget about it.
or like they do in America - GET A SHRINK
afterwards you will be traumatised with fees you have to pay to shrink and get another shrink. it will never end.
just get over it.
2007-09-26 12:59:09 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
keyshia cole said it best 'if he dont treat you like you want him to then let it go'
2007-09-26 13:02:21 · answer #10 · answered by Rah 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋