Need To Find My Mothers Biological History?

Question

Neither my mother or her family is willing to tell me anything about my mothers past. I had heard that she was adopted, I also heard she may have a couple of siblings, and that her brother is deceased. But those are all unsolved questions to me, because the family is all remaining tight lipped about this. The other big problem is, all of her records are in Japan. She was born and raised there and came here when she was in her 20's. I dont even know where to start. HELP!

Answer 1

I don't have any concrete advice for you, but I just wanted to empathize and tell you I know what you're going through.

My mother died when I was 3 and I never knew anything about her or her family or the two older half sisters that were put up for adoption. My father doesn't talk about her or her family or his family even and, consequently, I have very limited knowledge of family lineage, traditions, or medical history for either side.

I took it upon myself to use the internet to find my sisters and mother's family and I was actually successful at tracking down my sisters (chance) and some of my mother's extended family (with the help of several very kind and interested strangers).

If you really want to pursue finding out more about your mother's family, don't wait for them to tell you, but take it upon yourself to scour public records, post inquiries on any website that you think might have people who would know her family. It's always a long shot and you should not get your hopes up to get the answers your looking for, but it's at least worth a shot.

I was dumbfounded when I actually hit on an email address for one of my sisters from a post she had put up 4 years prior. She had a couple of pieces of information that I then used to locate people (a journalist and part-time geneologist as well as some others) who helped me find out more and generate more leads and turn up some extended family. I now have a developing relationship with one of my older sisters and have spoken to some of my mother's other family.

It's all a big puzzle and you can't let yourself get too emotionally invested in it or you might get disappointed. but, you just never know what you're going to find out until you start researching and asking questions.

I would recommend starting with the adoption agencies, also seeking out any Japanese sites that people post on. If you can find out a region or town her family was from, you can start making inquires about that. You can search the public records on file as well for things like the brother's death certificate. This will give a location for where he lived which might help narrow down the area your searching for, it will also note how he died and may be a clue to family health history.

I found that many complete strangers were moved by my postings and wanted to help me in my search. The more people you can get interested in your search, the more likely you'll be to find someone with a skill set or knowledge that can be useful to you. It's amazing how willing people are to help out complete strangers if they feel some kind of connection to what you're doing. Take whatever information you can get from your mother and her family and run with it. Be persistant, repost your inquires frequently and know that the information is out there somewhere and you might find it with enough persistence.

One thing I would also do is try to see why the family might not want to tell you more. If it's hard to address the subject, as it has been with my father, then just take whatever nuggets of information you have gotten to this point and start from there. The more you can squeeze out of them, the better off you'll be in your searching efforts, but I understand the lack of willingness to divulge information and how it can become quite uncomfortable if you press too much.

I started out with my mother's name, the names of my sisters, the name of my maternal grandmother and a fact about one unnamed brother. Since that time, I have obtained copies of my mother's death certificate, archived newspaper articles about how she died, found out her birthday and death date, and have made contact with some of her extended family. I was also given a partial family tree that traced lineage from her mother and father as well. It's amazing what's out there. You can probably find out more if you stick to it for long enough. You just have to be prepared that what you find out might not be pretty, that you might find out nothing as well and you have to be prepared to be ok with that outcome too.

I hope you find the answers you're looking for. It's hard to not know what or who it is you come from, especially once you have children of your own. Just remember that the past is important, but what is more important is this day and the known blessings that you have in your life now. Some things cannot be known, but one thing you can know with certainty is yourself and your ability to make the most of what you do have and make peace with what you don't. Good luck to you.

Answer 2

Go to familytreedna.com There are DNA tests that you can have done that will tell you your maternal ancestry. I just had this done a few months ago and I am adopted too. I was told my mother was half black, but it turns out she was only black Irish as her ancestry is completely European. It was very interesting. Also once you find out your Haplo group (go to the website they will explain what that is) there is a book called The Seven Daughters of Eve, written by Brian Sykes, that is kind of interesting. I would check it out at the library instead of buying it though. (It's interesting, but not THAT interesting.) The website can possibly put in in touch with others people that share your DNA. Depending on the test or tests you have done you DNA may match several doezen people, but that means it could be someone that you shared and maternal ancestor with 1300 years ago, so the more refined the tests are, the more recent the shared ancestor will be. Good luck on your journey.

Answer 3

I am not sure exactly what information your doctor wants. Perhaps if you could ask the doc for specifics about what to request from your biomom you could clear up some of the confusion. Adoptive parents are usually given some medical info on the biomom at the time of an adoption. They may also be given a medical report on the child. This may be required by state law. So your adoptive parents may still have those. Perhaps your doctor wants that info. Any info provided at the time of the adoption will be old, of course. You can request that info yourself from the agency that handled your adoption, or from the state dept of human services(social services) adoption unit, of your state. Since you do talk with biomom, asking specific questions about health history , especially if it comes from a doctor makes sense. Medical information is usually incomplete and often unknown because people don't know much about relatives...adopted or not.

Answer 4

If she doesn't want to tell U anything means maybe they don't want U to know something really bad. I from Japan and I often visit Y/A japan section and every once a while ppl post A to find someone etc.. They say Japan has a law to protect privacy so it is hard to track. this was posted when i checked today.
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AuNgeniBttnJzfyatBAI.MkN7RR.;_ylv=3?qid=20070926064153AApB4Hh
May be their A will help U, too.

Answer 5

I think you would do better if you went to the adoption boards. Most of those folks have much more experience in finding bio families then we would.

Maybe they are staying tight lipped due to your age. Is that possible? Do you know where you were adopted? Then start with the court in that county and see what you find there.

Answer 6

a geneologist can sift out her info with the little bit you already know.

also, a private detective can get the info on her at least to provide you with the info to go further.

other than that you may try to contact anyone in the consolate for her info, if they would give it to you.

can you get her birth certificate? you might be able to get info from her ssc number and go from there.

Answer 7

Why is this so important? Is there a medical problem that you need to address? All families have secrets and obviously yours wants to keep somethings private. You will have to respect their wishes.