why would my boyfriend since I was 16 (he was 18) cheat on me with this trashy girl (she has no education at 24 yrs old, no license to drive, no car, shes a fast food worker, an alcoholic and a hoe) repeatedly ending up having a TWO kids with her and when I left him, he went to stay with her but he wouldnt leave me alone and always telling me he loved me and so on and trying to be at my house every day-while she is getting mad that he isnt there with her and her kids. To this day he acts as if it was a mistake from him having problems and not having himself together, and that he NEVER wanted to be around her let alone have kids with her and so on? If that is the case why can he have kept cheating on me with her. He goes overboard to try and make this up to me and tell me he wants to get married and settle down with me-I DONT understand at all. PLEASE dont tell em to leave him b/c thats not my issue or question-I want to know why he did it if he says she is SO awful and a loser!
2007-09-26 04:55:06 · 14 answers · asked by Yellowtulips 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
please dont tell me how i am dumb and so on and what I should do or whatever-just want to know why cheat if she is as bad as he says?
2007-09-26 04:56:01 · update #1
I totally believe it's because she gives him good head, but has nothing else going for her. She's OK for him to be around during the b.j., but she's not marriage material. Some guys don't care about how the kids or the woman will be hurt when he's no longer in the picture. Sorry for being so blunt.
2007-09-26 05:03:16 · answer #1 · answered by scaredeycat 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He cheated on you because he's obviously not ready for a monogamous relationship. Even though a guy may be 18, that doesn't mean he's grown into a man yet, he might still be a boy.
Being a boy means thinking you can get away with stuff by coming up with a good enough excuse, it means not being ready to settle down, even if you have all intentions to and really want to.
The fact that it sounds as if he is no longer there for those two kids he made because he's hanging around you all the time just reinforces the "boy" idea.
It doesn't seem like anyone can tell you to leave him and that's fine. That's something you'll have to decide on your own. But I would hold off on marrying this guy till he's had some time to grow as a person.
EDIT: LOL, I'm one of the only answerers that didn't say anything about eating cake! ^_^
2007-09-26 05:04:47 · answer #2 · answered by Missy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are being dumb, I have no choice but to tell you that.
So what she's a fast food worker, you think she's a hoe, etc etc, at the time, she ticked all his right boxes (boxes that you obviously weren't ticking) and if you carry on giving him a hard time I am sure he'll do it again.
Either you forgive him and get on with your relationship or you don't, in which case just split up and stop being so dumb.
From reading it above he was having his cake and eating it - you were dumb to let him treat you that way - he got away with regularly cheating on you because you were too dumb to split up with him first time you found out.
He will cheat on you again, by the way. A leopard never changes its spots.
2007-09-26 05:04:16 · answer #3 · answered by Paul M 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your boyfriend can be a loser or a winner as u call.
if he is a loser he may not know what he is doing and he may like that woman or u but even if he doesn't like her maybe he is loser that's why he thinks it's his responsibility or something or he can't get rid of her?
on the other hand, he is a winner and he loves you but he also tries to use that woman to show u that he has another woman so u'd better stay with him or otherwise that woman will be with him. or he just loves two of u and he wants two woman together.
see what happens for a while and don't put all your eggs in one basket, don't put too much hope on him and break up if possible. if u want to ask him how he feels, if he doesn't tell then don't waste too much time.
2007-09-26 05:04:02 · answer #4 · answered by Victor N 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because she is NOT as bad as he says she is... He is telling you what you want to hear. I am sure she didn't rape him, and I am sure she did not threaten him with a gun so he wouldn't use a condom. And if he has two kids with her, this happened more than once, so when he says he never wanted to sleep with her, he is so full of BS. He wants to have you both. Ever thought what he says to her about you?
I remember a friend when she had this problem, her looser husband left her for another woman, returned 2 weeks later saying he never cared for his other woman only to leave his wife again 2 weeks later. He returned, left, returned, left for a period of 2-3 years. One day the two women decided to have a conversation, and it turns out he was talking crap about both of them. He would tell one how much he hated his wife, and tell the other how much his mistress made him sick.....
This all stopped when the wife had enough, and enough dignity to change the locks.
2007-09-26 05:07:20 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie, you deserve so much better. I think he just wants his cake and wants to eat it too. If he really didn't want to be with her he wouldn't. In all honesty he is messing with both your heads and doing you both wrong. Instead of hating her you should feel sorry for her. You are free to move on to someone that will love you and only you while she is left to deal with him. Some guys are like that. It makes them feel better about themselves I suppose. But not all men are that way. As for him having kids. He would have taken precautions the second time for sure if he didn't want anymore. In my opinion he is a loser who uses women and I hope you find someone that really is worth your time.. Good Luck
2007-09-26 05:02:04 · answer #6 · answered by Julie J 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's an easy ****. It's as simple as that. She makes him feel wanted and he needs the attention she gives him. He cares about you but he's not getting the emotional support that he desires from you. You may be too independent for him. Some guys like to be the hero.
2007-09-26 05:05:45 · answer #7 · answered by rcButterfly 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's obviously trying to have his cake and eat it too (by having both of you). He's probably telling her how awful you are. Learn from it and move on. If it were that bad he wouldn't be there. Good luck and God Bless.
2007-09-26 04:58:53 · answer #8 · answered by tersey562 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The reason he keeps saying that about her, is because he wants both of you. If she was that bad he would leave her alone and only be with you. He wants his cake and eat it too.
2007-09-26 05:03:12 · answer #9 · answered by ranger33 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What he says and what he is doing are two different things. Evidently she is not so awful and she is not more of a loser than him. You are being led along. If he has children with her, he belongs with her. He needs to support his family.
2007-09-26 05:01:19 · answer #10 · answered by Jeancommunicates 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋