Have you ever taken your teenager to counselling and did it help?

Question

My daughter is 13, has a horrible attitude. It's gone beyond normal teen rebellion. Her teachers are commenting on her behaviour and I can't even leave her at my mom's house for an hour without her causing problems over there. (She has to stay there between the time school is out and when I get home) She constantly tells me to shut up and that she hates me. I'm considering taking her for therapy, dont know what to do. Any suggestions?

Answer 1

Mom and daughter therapy will likely be the most effective.
It really helped me to understand what she was trying to communicate through the yucky behavior -- and the therapist was able to coach each of us through that time of difficulty.

At 15 we did allow her to move in with Grandma and Grandpa for the remainder of her teen years -- which was a Godsend
to each party involved, taking off the tension, yet renewing the relationship. She still calls a number of times a week
and we have a better relationship than if she had stayed grouchy and holed-up in her room, not communicating with family.
Grandpa and Grandma have greatly benefitted too, as we live too far away for me to go and help them.

Answer 2

I think you could sit back and look at what has happened in your lives over the past couple years first.

Have you been divorced? Have you and your daughter had some sort of loss in your lives? Has something changed, beside her attitude?

There could be any number of reasons for your daughter's behavior. and YES i feel very strongly that therapy is helpful, when the person in therapy WANTS the help.

I would make an appointment with her doctor, first.. and let the doctor know what's going on... privately in his exam room... then let your daughter go in alone after you to talk with the doctor. Afterwards, the doctor can make a recommendation... and while he is alone with your daughter, can give her suggestions. If you aren't in the room, she might see him as a "neutral party" and listen.

The doctor will make a referral if he finds it necessary. But you can always initiate therapy if you want, without the doctor visit... whatever works for you.

Another thing i'd do is be very consistent with her about rules, and discipline. Give her household chores...and NO rewards unless she behaves. Letting her do things after she is disrespectful toward you, isn't going to help.

YOU can also see a therapist for help to learn ways to nip this issue in the bud, and to learn some coping skills and how to manage her in general.

I wish you all the best.

Answer 3

That's too bad about your daughter. I think family counseling is needed here. You daughter didn't just develop this personality by herself. There may be something you are or are not doing to trigger certain behaviors. The teenage years can be difficult for both parent and child. The child feels all these emotions and don't know how to cope and the parent doesn't know how to help the teen to cope. Everyone just overreacts. You can do this together and resolve it as a family. Maybe there will be times she will need counseling alone but let her know that you want to help her and you are also going to be part of the therapy. This way she sees it as not her problem only but both your problem and will be more open to changing her behavior. Best of luck to you

Answer 4

This sounds like my boyfriends son who is the same age. He and his exwife did nothing at first but "talk to him" for a few years and then finally took him to 8 different therapists before finding a psychiatrist who could get thru to him.He was telling his mother that he hated her, to go f--- herself, called me a few choice names, etc. He is now on medication. I am not sure of all the details because my BF is a little defensive when I try to discuss it with him. But I would seek outside help, the longer you wait the harder it is for changes to occur. My BF says his son is getting along better with his mom now.

Answer 5

When my daughter turned 12, I thought she became demon possessed (kidding...but it was like a stranger). I took her and my son (2 yrs older) to counseling with the step-dad, too. I think you should go. Try to find a woman from the younger set (she may identify more). Pubetic hormones.

Answer 6

please tell your child that you are the parent and you have the upperhand. she is just a child she dont no more than you know about her. she cant take care of herself so she have no right to treat you like that. Or find out what is wrong with her. it could be something or somebody that is messing with her. SO PLEASE FIND THE PROBLEM BEFORE ITS TO LATE!!!!!!

Answer 7

Yes and No