i believe my wife has a personality disorder she broke our family and marriage up becuase she is not in love with me. She refused to help save our family and has been terrible to deal with
2007-09-26 04:19:02 · 13 answers · asked by Tom W 1 in Health ➔ Mental Health
I would sit in quiet and question my stressful thoughts thoroughly first. Then you might get an idea.
2007-09-26 04:22:12 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just because she is no longer in love with you does not mean that she has a personality disorder. People do fall out of love with other people.. Those things happen... Maybe you two are just not compatable. If you are fighting trying to save something that she does not want to save then that may be why she is so terrible to deal with.. You have to let go and then maybe it will all work out..
Are there children involved? If so then the fighting has to stop for the kids. You two need to work things out and be friends whether you can be lovers or not..
I know this is probably what you do not want to hear.. but i have already been through this.. My ex walked out of a 17 year marriage saying the same thing..
2007-09-26 04:24:00 · answer #2 · answered by ldyjsmyn 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Very very carefully. Document everything... absolutely everything. Do not tell her anything, not a word. Plan ahead every move... the situation sucks. Basically, deal with her as little as possible. Do not piss her off if you can help it until the paperwork is filed and the divorce goes through. Negotiate, but do it manipulatively, without making her realize what you are doing. Always talk to her like you are doing something for her. I've been there and am still there, but it's almost done.
I feel for you.
2007-09-26 04:24:04 · answer #3 · answered by lu_dicrous 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you think she has a personality D/O, which one? Anti social, Borderline, attachment D/O? Sometime like that? Are you a therapist? Has she actually been diagnosed? Why not seek treatment to determine if there is a real problem.
Unfortunately, there is not medication for personality D/O - only therapy options, which usually take a very long time.
See if you can make an appointment for your whole family to go to a psychiatric professional. That means EVERYONE goes. Maybe there is still hope?
2007-09-26 04:23:19 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If this is the case, then you need to do your best to move on. If your wife has a disorder, it's up to her to get help, if that is what she wants to do. You haven't any control over her medical care.
If you have to deal with her because you have kids and visit with them, just do your best to ignore her. You can't change her.
I'm sorry you are going through this... You can do a yahoo search for SURVIVING DIVORCE, LIFE AFTER DIVORCE for some good websites for information about how to move forward with your life. You can also try DEALING WITH A BITTER EX.. not sure if you'll find anything, but if you do, i bet you will get good information on how to handle things.
take care ok?
2007-09-26 07:45:04 · answer #5 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry to hear that Tom. It sounds like from what you wrote that you are really sad/upset about the failed marriage. But from what you said...her issues disolved the marriage...she doesn't love you...you can't make someone love you when they don't. You need to enjoy your time with your kids/family and show her what it is like to be happy. Don't let her P/D bring you down and give you a P/D :) She is the miserable one apparently and she wants u to be miserable too...DON'T LET HER!
2007-09-26 04:38:25 · answer #6 · answered by lil78kimmie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just remember that anger just generates more anger. If she presents herself to you in an angry way, just do your best to stay calm. Returning her anger will only make it worse.
Also tell her, in a calm way that if she wants to communicate with you, that you will be ready to listen when she calms down, & then disengage until she does.
If there are children around tell her that she needs to calm down for the sake of the kids. If she can't do that on her own then it's time for her to go into therapy.
2007-09-26 04:37:30 · answer #7 · answered by No More 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You said she didn't love you so just move on. You don't have to take any crap from her. If you have kids with her than you should try to get custody of them since you said she has problems and the kids definitely don't need to be around that. If she really gets out of control put a restaining order on her.
2007-09-26 04:26:15 · answer #8 · answered by Darcee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Restraining order, if needed, and stay FAR away from her. Please get yourself some counseling support, and take care of your health. Lu dicrous is right: document and if need be tape and/or videotape EVERYTHING ( discreetly) Do NOT threaten her I am sorry for your trouble, but please know that you are the only one you have any control over. Good luck, my dear.
2007-09-26 04:24:56 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Two words: Restraining Order.
And then make sure that there's someone around to testify when she violates it.
Doug
2007-09-26 04:25:36 · answer #10 · answered by doug_donaghue 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋