Effects of spanking?

Question

According to your personal experience, does spanking have positive or negative effects on the person spanked?

Answer 1

Yes it had very positive effects on my daughter. She knew what the consequences for her actions were. She hated spankings more than anything so she would do everything in her power to not do something that would result in her getting spanked. She was not abused, molested, or any of the crap that is associated with spanking. She is a very confident, responsible, and respectful young lady.

As for my son, spanking didn't have any positive or negative effects on him. He just was very impartial to them, so we found grounding him was more effective as a punishment.

I don't believe every child should be spanked. I believe that a punishment should be effective whatever it is.

Answer 2

Oh here we go again. Doesn't ANYONE read the previous millions of questions regarding this very same thing? Spanking doesn't leave any sort of trauma, neither physical nor psychological. It's really unfortunate that some people think otherwise. They need to seek psychological help, truly, if they were actually ABUSED, for THAT is what causes ill-lasting effects. There are no effects. A spanking is a simple swat or two on the bottom, nothing more. It's a very effective means of punishment. I was spanked, as were my siblings. We're well-adjusted adults. My husband and I spank our children, only when they have done something very wrong and mainly as a last resort thing. It doesn't promote rage. ABUSE has to do with rage. Uneducated people think that the terms spanking and abuse are interchangable. They aren't. Counting down the seconds before this question is asked yet again...

Answer 3

I find that it isn't the type of punishment, but how the punishment is given that most effects whether a positive result is accomplished. The key to creating a change in behavior is to instill guilt in a person, and a simple spanking, or any punishment, won't accomplish that. I was spanked and whipped as a child, but all it ever did for me was make me a better liar, because I found ways around getting caught, instead of stopping the behavior that I was punished for. That's because all that I ever experienced was the punishment, and nothing before or after.

Most parents nowadays just use spanking as a stopgap measure to get a child to stop whatever behavior they don't like, so the parents can them get right back to whatever they were doing, which is probably more important to them than the child. It's lazy parenting.

While I have never spanked a child, I have spanked my fair share of adults. (Yes, consenting ADULTS.) However, I don't imagine that I'd do things any differently with a child, though spankings would probably be rare, to preserve the shock value that a good spanking can give a child.

When I spank someone that has submitted to me for discipline, I scold and lecture them first, making sure that they understand what they did wrong, and who could have been hurt and how. I get to know these women for a long time before ever laying a finger on them the first time, so they also have an emotional connection to me, and my disappointment in their behavior is a big part of creating guilt in them. It is this guilt that will truly teach the lesson, and not the spanking (or whatever punishment is chosen). The spanking is merely a focus, communicating that I am upset with them and reminding them that I intend to keep them in line.

After the punishment, there is then forgiveness and love, often including hugging and reminding them that it's all over. This lets them know that their past crimes are in the past, and won't be held over their heads unless they repeat those crimes in the near future. It lets them know that they can start fresh, and can become better in my eyes. A part of this is also letting them cry, if the spanking took them to that level. Crying is a cathartic release of stress, which can be good for both child or adult. Often, people misbehave because of building stress inside of them. We often attribute a child's misbehavior to "being cranky" which is just about the same thing. Letting them get out those bad feelings in a way that won't truly hurt them. Contrary to those that would shout "abuse" at any mention of physical punishment, the bottom is very resilient against trauma. The pain of a spanking is limited to the upper tissues, and, while the pain will stay with them for a while, there is no lasting damage. Only a spanking given out of anger (another problem with many parents today) or improperly will result in damage beyond what will heal easily.

Answer 4

I was spanked as a kid. I grew up fine, always was an straight A student (not bragging about it, just telling you the facts). Graduated 1st in my class, when on a full scolarship to college, graduated with a 4/5 GPA, have a nice promissing career at a big company in my country, happily married with a baby girl. I also used to have fun, partied a lot in highschool and college, i guess I learned to balance my life to have fun but still be responsible with school. So I guess spanking and discipline straighten me up, and had a positive effect on me. My mom only spanked me when I behaved really bad, other wise she would talk or yell at me when I drove her nuts. I love her so much and my dad too. They are still together and have settled an example of a stable family. Of course they still fight after 27 years together, but I don't think there's such thing as the perfect- no argument relationship. Now that I have a baby girl I think I would try to reason with her before spanking, but also think a little spanking won't hurt. It's very important to leave clear that i was never beaten up as a kid, just spanked, and there's a huge difference between those two.

Answer 5

This is a huge can of worms you have just opened. I for one am for spanking, with my child it has positive affects, I have only had to spank her a handful of times and I promise you that if I spanked her for something she never did it again. Each parent is different and each child is different but look at the statistics 20 years ago spanking was an acceptable form of punishment, and children were well children there was less teen violence, less talking back, and less basic bad behavior. Now skip ahead to the early 90's this is when spanking became taboo in America, and with that what went up? Violence, talking back and kids were becoming monsters. Look at life today, kids talk back with out a care in the world, they are in gangs, and doing drugs, all of which in my opinion could have been avoided in most cases if they were spanked as as a child. People are so concerned with the affects of spanking and do not realize that the parents who spank their kids do not do it because we want to teach them violence, and not because we don't know of any other way, which is an argument I have heard many times, we do it because we care enough to make sure our children learn their lessons. Most things you tell kids go in one ear and out the other but a swat to the back side will leave a lasting impression.

Answer 6

Ha! NR77...naughty naughty.

But I can tell you...the few times I was spanked as a child...I certainly remembered not to do it again! But I was also lectured, so I completely understood what I had done wrong and that there are always consequences for bad actions.

The only spanking I got that left a bad impression was the one where when I asked the teacher what I had done she thought I was being a smartass and told me I knew what I did and turned me and wailed on my @ss with that paddle. Along with 2 or 3 other kids in the class. I was in the 2nd grade, and still to this day I don't know what I did and it pisses me off. I wish now that I had told my mother, but since I didn't understand what I had done, I was afraid that it was really bad and that my mom would be mad and that I'd get into trouble again. But you bet I never did anything bad at school again. In fact I never spoke or participated in anything ever again.

Answer 7

As for the spanking, I dont think its wrong. God gave us the rear for other reasons than to sit on. It has that extra padding for a spanking. Other say Oh No you cant do that, you'll ruin their personality. Well then, us older ones we got our personality ruined a lot more than those people would know. There is a difference between a swat on the rear than abuse. Would you want your child running into the street getting hit by a car and possibly killed, or would you rather discipline them so they know its wrong to do? They wont get over being killed, they will get over the spanking. Would you want your child sticking a fork into the light socket, getting electocuted, or smack his hands? Yes it may sting a lil bit, but nowhere near as much as the elecutution. You can try time outs, as the Supernanny says on the naughty spot. If the child gets off that spot, take em back till they stay, the get out, the time starts over. 1 min per age. I got spanked only by my grandfather, abused by my step-fathers and ex-husband. I do spank my kids, I dont abuse them. They are turning out fine, just as millions of adults that have been spanked throughout life. Yes, some do turn the other way, but look they took God out of schools and look at the trouble we are having now in schools. Take God out of discipline we are really looking for trouble. God is the Almighty Father, He knows the right and wrong for us and our children, more than we ever will. If He says you should spank your children, then well we should. A child shall not stray away with discipline. Raise your child up in the Word of God.

Answer 8

Positive. There is a difference between spanking and child abuse, and some people think that spanking your child is abuse. Sometimes, you have to give your child that spanking to let them know, that what they're doing is wrong b/c time out and grounding doesn't work all the time.
Spanking their hands, feet or bottom is not a bad thing at all, just don't beat them.

Answer 9

I spanked previously when my daughter when she did something seriously wrong that threatened her safety and in behaviour that cannot be accepted, after she repeatedly refused to correct her way. However, after spanking, it always come with hugging and kisses to assure her that I still love her and has forgiven her of her wrong. She does show positive signs of improvement later as she understand the intention of mummy's administrating that punishment on her. BTW< she is only 5 years old.
A point to note. Mummy spanking is usually less harder than Daddy. As man, the force used is stronger compared to woman. So the degree of pain on the flesh is also different.
from parentingblessings.com

Answer 10

Spanking is diff from abusing, so a little spanking will have no effect pretty much, but spanking above the age of 16, definately don't work at all, as teenager at this age tends to rebel.

When I was young as little as 4 years old, I get tones of spanking till age 20..the exact work should be abused. I hate my dad for being violent, and it does have an effect on me and I spank my child too. But after spanking them, I realise that I'm becoming like my dad, tried to stop myself from repeating the same mistake, but I just can't. But after trying so much, I made it. So everytime my kids annoy me or do somthing wrong, I just look at her and walk away. When she ask me why I don't spank her, I just say, "You don't love me anymore, so why should I bother." I just let her do whatever she wants, till she learn her lesson. So now, my kids always ask me for my opinion and keep me in the loop. They never make me angry and I have learn to be more compasionate and takes things easy. Coz I believe spanking, cane and being violent to your children only bring hatred.