Reality is kicking in.....reassurance needed!!!?

Question

I am currently pregnant with my second child and since having my scan which has made it more 'real', the reality of having to give birth again is starting to worry me!! I'm trying not to let it bother me as the baby has to come out some way but I am terrified of tearing/episiotomy/forceps!
My 1st labour was only 1hr 11mins after induction but I think the thing that is causing worry is that I maybe small internally. My baby was only a 4lb premmie and I felt like I struggled so if it was an average size this time then its not gunna come out easily!!!
Any words of reassurance or anyone else suffering in fear like me?!
Sensible answers only please.

Answer 1

Relax. You probably struggled with your last pregnancy because your body wasn't really ready to give birth. The human body can do some pretty amazing things. I suggest you discuss your concerns with your OB/Gyn or your midwife. Even a good doula can give you some reassurance. They are trained to get woman through the birthing process.

Answer 2

I had the same fear with my second pregnancy. I was induced early and had a 9lb baby (I struggled pushing her out!) and was terrified that this time would be bigger and harder. How wrong was I!!!

I went into labour naturally, had an 8lb 1oz baby boy and breazed through the labour and delivery. Once it started my instinct kicked in and all the knowledge and experience I had, flooded in and I coped so much better. I knew what to expect, what to ask for and when, and what not to do!

I've also heard from many people that it doesn't matter how small or big your baby is, the contractions are the same! When it comes time for pushing your body will take over and everything will be fine. tearing or episiotomy isn't the end of the world as things heal so don't worry about that since you can't control it.

Take one day at a time, read over some books about labour and delivery again and speak to your midwife and doctor about any concerns you may have. It they think your 'insides are small' and delivery won't be possible, they will tell you!

Best of luck and congratulations!!

Answer 3

I too was excited about my second pregnancy until it got time to deliver, then all these questions about what if I tear, poo, swear during labour. How will I cope with a toddler and a baby, toilet training etc. Seriously you just do cope. I am such a stress head, I ended up on anti-anxiety meds after my son was born because I stressed too much, lol.
My first pregnancy I was terrified of tearing or episiotomy and you know what I did tear and I needed a gazillion stitches but it wasn't that bad, the stitches healed in about 2 weeks and you would never know the difference.
But I still worried about tearing again with my son and of course I did and needed even more stitches and it hurt even less than before, the midwives do take care of you, ice packs, and letting you go for a salt bath to help keep stitches clean.
My daughter was 7lb 6oz and my son was 8lb and 5oz, I am currently ttc a third (waah how big and how many stitches will I need this time, lol) I had epidural both times, though my son was a different story. Daughter waters broke at home at 4 am labour started at 5 am hospital by 8am and epidural by 11 am, delivered her at 5.53 pm after 4 hrs of puuushing. My darling little boy was supposed to huuge and I was induced on my due date, wow, not nice at all I went 15 hrs without pain relief and I didn't dilate at all (I was already 2cm before induction) and after all the pain I was in it did NOTHING grrrr! Doctor did a sweep and then took three goes to break my waters, I finally got an epidural just before they mucked around down there (epidural was bliss I got some sleep after nothing for nearly 24 hrs) Doctor went home and said that I wouldn't deliver before midnight, and then they had to call him back because I delivered my boy in 20 mins. The Doctor missed it all, lol.
My point is you can't do anything to change what is happening, try to go with it so you don't freak out, the midwives are highly trained and know what they are doing and you will be in the best hands. Everybodys story is different and everybody is scared of the same things as you too. Good luck and please talk to your doctor if you are having concerns.

Answer 4

Relax Girl!!

EVERYONE has that moment where they realise that this thing thats growing inside them has to exit somehow, and its only likely going to happen 1 way! (Unless of course you need emergency intervention)
Now what you need to do is stare that moment of panic in the face and say 'oh well, better just get on with getting ready for the best possible birthing outcome!'
If you keep dwelling on the birth then it is going to be HORRIBLE, you know that dont you?
Instead, start practicing gentle stretching exercises (dotn forget all the hormones through the pregnancy allow your ligaments etc to STTTTRRRRREEEEETTTTTTCCCCCCHH
heaps and while I dont advocate doing the splits, I do know there are some good pregnancy stretch guides out there in libraries and likely on the Net as well.
I also took something homeopathic whilst in the last 3 months of my pregnancies - jeez I cant remember the name of it now, but the saying goes that if you take this every day for the last trimester that by the time the taxi arrives to take you to the hospital the babys head is all but being born!!
Mind over matter or not - but it does seem to help. Or do I just have fast births?
Who knows - but a good positive attitude has to give a better outcome, so come on, have your OH **** panic moment and then get your head into gear doing all the best pro active things you can for a good outcome!!
Youll be fine!

Answer 5

Hi,
I feel the same but try not to worry, alot of people have told me its not as unbearable as they thought and that the pains not gonna be there forever.
Now they have so much pain relief and i know plenty of women who have an awful pain threshold who gave birth with no problems and were sitting at home eating tea the following night!

You can always talk to any of us on here. Im only 5 ft 1 and about a size 6 to 8 uk size and i keep wondering how on earth im gonna cope pushing a baby out. I know its gonna be worth it though.

My mum got a tape to listen to to calm her nerves through out her pregnancy and she said it worked so maybe try investing in some calming devices or looking up methods xx

Answer 6

I don't blame you for having the fear. Seems to me I always changed my mind about the time labor started. Arrange with your doctor to have a spinal or other meds to combat the pain. There is no shame in not having natural childbirth. Only those who have never done it say your a wus if you don't. Hopefully, this baby will come as fast. I was 36 hours in labor with my second. I didn't have the sense to stop then, and my third was 26 hours. Good luck to you. I am sure you will do just fine and dandy. Congratulations on your new family member. God Bless YOU.

Answer 7

Guess what? My first was also a 4lb premie. My second was 9lb 3oz and I didn't tear at all. I did some relaxation excercises I learned in yoga and spent most of my hospital labor in the tub. I would have stayed in to give birth if they would have let me, but our hospital wasn't equipt for water births. I didn't ever need pain medication although I had never ruled it out completely. I think alot depends on how able you are to relax. Also having sex if your doc oks it up until the end really keeps you "loose" for childbirth. Look up periteneal (can't spell it) massage, this helps too. My mother, back in the early 70's was small boned and they gave her cesareans with both me & my brother, but I don't think its common to schedule one just for that anymore. I'm due with my third in April and I'm actually looking forward to it.

Answer 8

my first was 2lb 1oz preemie then when i was pregnant with second i was scared of having normal size baby so i can understand theis birth was more painfull but when i got pregnant with my 3rd it was even worse and everyone kept saying how 3rd easier he was the hardest every womens labours difficult i only had gas and air but ive heard epidurals are great make sure you have a good birthing partner that helps alot more take it eay now because you could have it easy

Answer 9

It will be FINE. My friend's first child was early, only 6 lbs, they had to break the baby's collar bone to get her out- naturally my Friend was VERY worried about delivering her second- he came Monday morning, all 8.5 lbs of him, and was delivered with only minimal tearing. Sometimes the first is no indicator of how the second will go at all!

Answer 10

you will be surprised at how your body will expand down south to deliver. i had the same worry with my son my first was 1lb 1 oz.
and she did die, my son was 6lbs 13 ozs. due to him being in distress i was forced into a c- section. he was royally tangled i his cord he is fine now. have your doctor check your size down there at your next visit he can tell you if your gonna be to small but i doubt it since little people(dwarfs ) can deliver average size babies with no problem try not to worry and enjoy your pregnancy