how can you handle defamation of your character, your being wrongly projected towards others?

Question

and your the sort of person who cares alot about what people think and you want to be liked.

i had a rage and anger problem since 17, im 30 now, i used to have rage outbursts in public and get into fights.....a couple of times i was attacked and have been lucky.
ive had a very traumatic life filled with victimiation and abuse. i have BPD. but now, i feel as though people have a wrong perception of me, like im a loner weirdo, a person to be avoided and now im being outcasted...
this is really bothering me, its a persistant feeling i have.
i remember when i would have these rage outbursts, it was in public crowded places, and at times i was attacked by thugs...other times, people would just laugh and stare at me.
i seriously feel bad about my past and my rage outbursts, and today the feelings are still there but i control it better.

iam trying to get therapy right now. however i feel like ive been outcasted, brandished and tarnished, and my characters been ruined forever

i just want to be liked, loved, accepted and have a life. but how can i if i feel people percieve me that way and my characters been ruined?
ive never had a girlfriend and never made a single friend in life.
my paranoia is even making me think, now even all the u.s folk online are outcasting me to, like i think all the british are....and im devasted by this.

i know it sounds mad, deluded, but these are the feelings i deal with daily, and im not afraid to tell it like it is.

my ultimate goal is to leave britain, back to france or emigrate further out.

but how can i? when i deal with all this at 30 years old

Answer 1

i have never cared what others think of me unless of course it was a person i cared for... you character has not been ruined forever.. if you decide to stay in the town you are in, you might have to show them that you are not the same person... but if you move somewhere else, you dont have to tell them about your past...

Answer 2

You're going in the right direction by getting therapy. Also, you realize you have a problem and are admitting it. That's always the first step to solving it.

Definitely go for therapy with a licensed therapist who can help you deal with your rage/anger issues. Once your issues are dealt with, then move to a different city/country to start a new life. It's never too late. You're still young and can still have a wonderful life ahead of you.

Answer 3

It's interesting to me, that you think you've never made a single friend in your life..I don't know what you consider a 'friend'...but it seems to me, that I think that you have..maybe at this moment, you feel like you haven't but I find it hard to believe, that you don't have people that care about you...you are a lovable guy! I wouldn't care what anyone thinks about me, as long as I know the truth. I have been slandered where I live, and it got so bad, that i had to call the main office of a company that had hired the culprit and threaten with a law suit, if they didn't shut up their employee..and that worked, at least as far as the business was concerned. The things he was spreading were horrible..but I forgave him, and let God take care of him

Answer 4

in the old days, u could have hurt som1 and had to regret it all your life. maybe not having the chance u got right now to decide what to do with ur self coz u might be in prison or something.
but the fact is, YOUR NOT!

i understand ur paranoia but u have to know that there r people with issues too. try going to meetings were u find others with similar problems u can relate to.

lets see,
your a guy, a bad one too _ some females are attracted to bad guys_ i'm not saying its a good thing but its true.
young
healthy, as in acknowledging that u have a problem and u want to solve it.
Cherish what u have!
go to therapy, go traveling, meet new people, get a job, experience new things.
and life wouldnt be that bad afterall.

hoping for u all the best!

Answer 5

What you have written are all symptoms of BPD. Inside every person are two wolves at war, one is love and the other hate. The one you feed the most will win the battle.