do you like my poetry rate from 1-20 comments welcome thanks?

Question

WHY? WHY DADDY? WHY?

WHY DO YOU HATE ME SO MUCH DADDY WHY?
WHAT DID I DO FOR YOU TO HATE ME SO MUCH
WHY DADDY WHY?

IS IT BECAUSE I AM JUST LIKE YOU
AND YOU JUST CANT HANDLE IT
WHY? WHY DADDY?WHY?

THE FIRST DAY I MET YOU I WAS EIGHT YEARS OLD AND YOU HIT ME, I REMEBER IT AS IF IT WAS YESTER DAY

MOM LEFT ME WITH YOU AND I RAN TO YOUR KITCHEN AND YOU GRABBED ME UP AND HIT ME
WHY? WHY DADDY ? WHY?
I RAN TO GRANDMAS HOUSE AND TOLD HER WHAT YOU HAD DONE SHE CALLED MOMMY UP AND TOLD HER TO COME GET ME. WHY? WHY DADDY ? WHY

IS IT BECAUSE I DONT LIKE JUST WHITE PEOPLE AND I DATE BOTH? WHY? WHY DADDY?WHY? IS IT BECAUSE I AM IN TO BOTH MALES AND FEMALES ? WHY? WHY DADDY? WHY?

IS IT BECAUSE ALL I EVER WANTED WAS TO BE LOVED AND ACCEPTED BY YOU AND YOUR OTHER KIDS? IS THAT SO MUCH FOR ME TO ASK? I NEVER ASKED YOU FOR ANYTHING BUT TO LOVE ME AS YOUR CHILD WHY?WHY DADDY?WHY WHY CANT YOU LOVE ME KNOWING I AM YOUR DAGHTER ? WHY? WHY DADDY ?WHY ? IT IS NOW TIME FOR ME TO MOVE ON NOW

this is true it is about me and my biological father. i think that writing poetry or keeping a journal is a good thing and if you are going to be cruel and rude about it do not even rate it or sayanything about it. because this is just how i feel sometimes. and my real father has beat me before and almost killed my mother before thats why i dont have anything to do with him and i write how i feel about him

Answer 1

See i wont call ur peace of work exciting, amazing, marvellous or faboulous. Honestly this poem is truly good but not excellent but whatever it is i feel is perfectly fine u've just wrote here what u have expereinced and i bet only a handful of people can write about their feelings and things they have truly experienced. I dont care what people say about ur poem but i am truly amazed at the great effort u have made. I would honestly rate u 16 and do show this to your dad maybe he'll understand the great mistake he has made throgh the years.N do keep up da great work.

Answer 2

There are several issues here, poetry being only one of them. You asked for a review of your poetry, not your perceptions of relationships or psychology, so that's what I'll provide, feedback on your poetry.

Scale of 1-20: 9

Poetry is art, and as such, it needs to comply with certain rules, such as grammar, form, and syntax. You should use both capital and lower case letters, not just capitals. You should also use a spell checker:

yesterday
remember
Grandma's
daughter

Grammar is also important, so you need to use punctuation (periods, commas, etc.) and avoid repetition as in "it is now time for me to move on now" (it should read either "it is now time for me to move on" or "it is time for me to move on now")

You've decided to use free verse, so rhyming is not a problem, but you lose all form after the first few lines. You should establish a rhythm and stick with it; you started out okay, but as your emotions fired up you started in a prosaic rant. Keep your form.

Also, remember, poetry "shows", prose "tells". Your poem reads more like a diary entry because it simply tells. The repetition of "why, why daddy, why" is okay as a poetic device, but it is insufficient to carry the weight of the entire poem.

You have sufficient passion, you just need to refocus it so it paints a picture rather than lists what he did wrong or the questions you have for him. "bruises are a strange way to show your love" shows that he hit you; "you hit me all the time" tells us what he did, and that's prose, not poetry.

Refocus your energy and try to paint us a picture of the situation rather than just explain it...and keep writing.

Answer 3

On the basis of skill and creativity with words for poetry, I would rate your poem 6 maybe.The poem is about how you feel, so I cant rate what you think, or how you feel. I could rate your honesty in that regard at 18. What we feel or think is sometimes exaggerated outside the sphere of reality by our emotions, because our expectations of others and the level of what they should mean to us, or what we should mean to them, can be an exaggerated expectation. If you could adjust the level of expectation of others in relationship, you should become more settled within yourself, and your life. You might find you'll be a happier person.

Answer 4

Well to be honest it is a little long winded, good wording though, stricking imagery, If 1 is great and 20 bad I would give this poem a solid 8

Answer 5

This poem is just about you, so you wanted my opinion it is selfish and I rate it a 2