people who you don't like who have hurt you, your not sure whether you should still be civil to them or ignore them completley and act hostile towards them..
because you want to act howevers perieved as cool or the ''in'' way to act.
does anyone see what im trying to say?
2007-09-25 21:08:17 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
plus you struggle to know how to act because you dont want to alienate your self from people or be percieved as cold and arrogant.....but at the same time you want to be percieved as an upright, out spoken assertive, cool guy who gets his needs met.......how do you find the balance?
ive never been that type of person but always have wanted to be...
i have very low self esteem, have a gentle character and always struggled with assertiveness, im only just now at 30, learning assertiveness
2007-09-25 21:11:53 · update #1
but ultimatly you want to be liked, loved and accepted by people, and are terrified at the thought of being disliked and outcasted.
i want to find the balance
2007-09-25 21:16:01 · update #2
I understand what you're saying. And it's hard. The best thing you can do is find out about yourself. Learn to appreciate who you are and what you're made of. This way, in any situation...you know you'll have a friend.
Being 'cool' is a very transitory thing. You'll find that your image is only worth as much as the people projecting it. Being genuine, however, takes unlimited amounts of courage, dedication and loyalty. Qualities which are bound to earn the respect of people who are worth investing in. Sometimes it takes a while for others to adjust to a person who is truly genuine...but when they do you'll have not only gained confidence in yourself for seeing their opinions change, but better...you'll have assisted someone else in becoming a better person.
So, the best thing for you to do for yourself, again, is to learn all about you, forgive and embrace all of it. 'Cus in life, you're all it's about, my friend. :)
2007-09-25 21:22:52 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i am not an expert on this but i think you should try to start with yourself. you should make things clear first with your personal life before you could really act well with people. what are the things they are saying about you? is it true? is it what you keep showing them? then you should try to work things about that first. assess the truth by looking at it in a third person view. after doing that, the results would lead you on how you should act with people. being the real you and showing them who you really are is the perfect way to act to anyone...no matter what they say, no matter what they do as long as you don't hurt people and you don't do bad things. just be you but also guard what you do.
trying to be "in" is not always the perfect solution. being honest with who you really are to yourself and to others would always be the best solution in dealing with these kind of people.
2007-09-25 21:20:53 · answer #2 · answered by har 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There comes a time in your life, that you have to move on. People can keep you suppressed for years, and even though you love them, which is why you hang on...they can be so damaging, that it becomes a fact of life, that you need to start ignoring them and just be to yourself, for you own mental health. You can forgive them, love them, and talk to them...but they need to know that you are well aware of what they have done to you, and you are not taking the blame anymore, to make THEM feel better..keep your chin up and follow your dreams,...be civil, but guarded...being hostile, will only serve to prove their point, ..and you don't want that...forgive them, love them. but stand your ground
2007-09-25 23:29:48 · answer #3 · answered by MotherKittyKat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just be yourself...dont live with other's expectation,,,but...if you want a change, consult a psychologist or someone in the profession,,,you dont need to weaar a different mask just to be "in"....if you wanna boost up your self-esteem, start it in your family,,,that's the first step to a better social life....believe in what you can do and show the world that you can be somebody else better than what they know...
2007-09-25 21:25:53 · answer #4 · answered by lesje_lcm 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u think bout things too much u shouldnt worry so much... just go with d flow n try to enjoy ur life.
2007-09-25 21:15:08 · answer #5 · answered by xxx 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i don't have an answer this time... i'm about to hit another downward spiral and all i want is the answer to your question, too... so please people , take the time and compassion for us...
2007-09-25 21:31:32 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋