My nephew and niece caught in a wierd situation...?

Question

Hi, I live in India in a joint family. So my family lives in the same house as my Uncle, Aunt, Nephew(14) and Niece(16).
During the afternoon nobody other than me, my nephew and niece are at home (others are at work).

Yesterday, after my afternoon siesta I went to my nephew's room without knocking and caught them in a very wierd situation. Both of them were completely nude and she was stroking his 'thing'. I could see that they were 'excited'.
I was very shocked and left the room immediately. They came to me and begged to not to tell anyone and said they were only 'playing mom-dad' and 'looking'. They said that they have been doing this for a few months now.
I dont know what to do?
Should I tell my parents or their parents? Since they are brother-sister - i feel very wierd. Please help?

I am 19 years old. I understand the wierdness...but do they?

They have assured me that they have never had 'complete sex' by which they mean penetration. So they are safe from AIDS or HIV, right? Do i let them off with a warning?

Answer 1

Your discovery really puts you in a difficult situation.

While you know that behavior is completely illegal and "not right", what repercussions would there be for you if you told on them?

Would they know it's not right to do that? Will they be so severely disciplined to make you feel sorry for reporting them? Could you talk to them and make them stop?

If I knew more about your culture, I could help more.

Is there someone close that you could ask for advice?

Answer 2

As you have expressed yourself, and those who have answered herein, this is a subject of great concern for probably 98-99% of the people. But let me offered some other things to consider. First, they Are adults. Second, it is consensual. Third, consider the total unset and damage it could cause for the siblings, the parents, the rest of the extended family that will most likely find out. It could totally destroy the entire family dynamics forever. Consider you actions carefully! This is NOT something that you should convey to the parents without due consideration of all repercussions. IF they were teenagers, then I would have a different viewpoint. There is a concern about the potential child. If she is pregnant, then after it is born, tests most definitely need to be run to determine the father definitively. Primarily for the purpose of the child eventually is going to have to know who its parents are - and he/she should be 'know' who mother/father IS from an early age - so that at least it will have a sense of 'belonging' to a mother/father. Of course, the baby will not, should not be made aware of the unusual situation of his/her conception until Much later in his development - early teen years (approximate). The important thing is the the child is LOVED by those around him/her - the mixed feelings of the family ARE secondary to the child's well-being. He had not say or fault in his/her conception. The child's feelings of love and security should come before Everything else! Also, the 'concern' over the hereditary 'potential' problems are Way over blown. Yes, there is the greater 'possibility' that the child could inherit some medical problems that maybe it wouldn't otherwise. But you are talking about percentage risks of this happening being in the areas of 1 to 3 percent additional risk over the normal risks. Do some research on the internet - you will find this to be true. Now, further comment on the circumstances that you discovered. YOU need to sit down with the brother and sister and discuss the items that I have mentioned above. 1) IF she is PG by the brother - They are going to Have to Deal with all the problems that will have to come from it, and to deal with it in an honest, straight forward manner. Including Telling the sister's doctor that will take care of her during the pregnancy, so that he can properly deal with any special concerns and tests. 2) The siblings will have to bring it out in the open IF there is going to be a child involved. If it turns out that a child between the brother/sister is not a fact, then the 'notification' and Whether it should be made to the parents IS a different question. Again - think of the Total family and what Damage it is going to do to the whole family dynamics!!! IS it worth the pain that will occur if they are told? This should Not be an automatic decision that you have a right to make. They are adults, they have obviously have chosen to make some very unorthodox decisions, which could do a lot of damage. THEY have the right to handle the communication of any secrets themselves! It is Not your 'right' or obligation to do so. You Can sit down with them prior to the parents returning and discuss with them how They are going to handle it - especially if there is going to be a child from the relationship. YOU can 'cause' far more damage by taking the issue and 'handling' it Your way. Other than talking to them and having a frank discussion, that is all your should do. You Can stress your opinions and offer suggestions, but after that, you should step back out of it. I have been involved in some rather 'complex' Family issues in the past - not This, but some things as complicated and potentially damaging as this. I found that if it is handled wrong, far more damage than what was necessary can be done. And, no it had nothing to do with family incest or abuse by a father of a daughter. Just please take my word for it, this should be handled very carefully, for the sake of the entire family. Please, please heed what I say. I hope I have offered another, important way of looking at this.

Answer 3

Ewww ok I know they were just experimenting but that is nasty if you want to experiment don’t do it on your brother do it with your boyfriend or a guy friend you trust I understand that your in a hard spot but think about it if they told you that it’s been happening for a few months then how do you know after you caught them it’s still not happening you should tell your parents or theirs if you don’t get good advice from me you should go to your school councilor and ask for advice any thing you say to them is confidential if they leek any information they can be sewed by you and suspended by the school
I am sorry you got stuck in a hard spot like that
Wish you the best of luck

Answer 4

wow this is strange other then the fact that you say your 19 yet do not know what to do..
tell there parents as this is a bit more then i would think is normal for them to be doing and i think that they need some idea of how wrong this practises is...
HIV and other things is a possible problem still as it does not take full sexual penetration to get them. as you can get the infections from oral sex and from semen going into a open cut or wound too...

Answer 5

In our country it is really absurd & disturbing.. When these things happens in our own family & people whith which ur interests are involved it becomes more agonosing... I would suggest you to talk to each of them saparately, & make them know that the act they are doing is not social & they are ruining their relationships... More importantly you pressurise ur niece not to do this again, she may get pragnant.. this will make them understand what they are doing is wrong, telling their parents will not stop them from doing this again in ur/their parent's absense... This will also harm ur future relationships with them... because it will create the wrong impression... they are child, they need proper guidance & u provide it to them...
Also I will suggest u to avoid getting into the door without knocking, if u will continue doing this , U will be habitual of looking wiered things...

Answer 6

I agree with the sexual trauma Idea,
however I don't think porn could cause this
Do they have a lot of male and female friends outside the house, it could just be curiosity, but you should sit them down, explain the law and genetics to them.
and as long as they do not have intercourse there is not major problem, just curiosity that they will grow out of it.

however if they have been sexually abused you should report it immediately
and confront them about it.

Answer 7

This is disturbing !

Sex play of this type in siblings suggests they have been exposed to pornography or some kind of sexual abuse.

Speak to them in private if you can and explain to them at their age this is wrong and not just cos they're siblings!

Ask them if some adult has been touching them the wrong way?

Is there any one in the family male or female tho a male is more likely who could possibly be a pedophile ?

Answer 8

I would tell their parents about this. I agree with JeeVee and because their behavior could be criminal and morally it's wrong. Their behavior suggests sexual abuse and from what you have said it sounds like it's been a long term thing. I would talk with them as well and tell them while you love them you have to tell because you want to protect them from future abuse.

Answer 9

They know it's wrong they begged you not to tell, if that's any indication. You should let their parents now, it's not your responsibility to decide how this is handled, just be decreet about it, the whole world doesn't need to know. Good luck.

Answer 10

i would tell your mom first b4 you tell your aunt and uncle that is really weird...and they are old enough to know better then find the best way to break it to the rest of the family...i think they need to go see a dr. asap!