not put forth any effort into being a father?
Talking to him hasn't worked-I'm not leaving him-trust me here-there is NO COMMUNICATING with this man-I mean what do I do? Just live w/it?!?!
What would you do? Don't tell me to talk to him-I've tried that a million times-I don't know what to do at this point. Please HELP!
2007-09-25 20:04:23 · 12 answers · asked by mrsclovis 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Um, tell me again why you can't leave? Are your legs broken? I'm kidding. I know leaving can be tough but seriously girlfriend....what has this guy done to deserve you staying?! It sounds like he could care less if you left. If it's about finances, then just make a plan. If you think the r'ship could be salvaged, then you need to consider couples therapy to improve the r'ship. But it sounds like to me that your man has zero interest in improving anything. He knows he can act like a pig and you'll just put up with it.
2007-09-25 20:14:08 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I had an fairly long and painful relationship like this for 10 years. different than we weren't married and did not have youngsters, yet we've been residing jointly. there became right into a considerable loss of intimacy, by using fact he too became into staying up all nighttime taking part in video games and drowsing all day and smoking weed. Then while he began speaking approximately marriage and youngsters it dawned on me, he could by no skill substitute and that i could be trapped perpetually if I went down that highway. So I have been given out as quickly as i'd desire to. you will desire to divorce him, and his threats approximately taking the toddlers are thoroughly empty. except you're a drug addict or extremely abusive, you will get custody of your toddlers, he would be compelled to guy up and pay baby help. stable success.
2016-12-17 10:38:23 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would not live with it. You and your children deserve better than that. What do you need him for as a husband and father if he doesn't act like one. There is not any room for selfish people in a family. If I were you and I had tried to get through to him I would just give up. You don't want you kids to grow up and think that this is normal. Your boys might turn out just like him and your girls will allow their husband to treat them that way. Think of you and your children and what it will take for you to be happy and do what you can to get there. Good luck. I know that it will not be easy but you will be happy that you did it in the long run.
2007-09-25 20:12:04 · answer #3 · answered by kim h 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Man, this scenario sounds way too familiar! My ex-boyfriend was like this with his ex-wife and their 3 kids (and still is) and he was like this with me. You are right: no amount of talking works. From what I found from my ex, nothing works. I don't know what to tell you about what to do, but I can tell you that if he is like my ex, then nothing will work until he is ready for it to work. My ex-boyfriends' ex-wife and I both told him that he can't be in a relationship/marriage and live a single life--he can't have it both ways and he had to choose which one he would do. Guess what? He chose the single life! And he has totally messed that up too (he is now without a place to live because of his own stuipidity of not paying rent). I can tell you that I know how it feels and I do sympathize with you. This is not a good relationship for you or the kids to be in. It's not fair to any of you.
2007-09-25 20:14:06 · answer #4 · answered by honey 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First how many years you've married to this guy? I would suggest you tell his friends directly or whoever that he spends time with. That it's affecting your family especially the kids. You have the right to do it, but be firm and calm.
For your husband's side, reasons to him are useless. You have to get him involved in your daily activities. eg ask him to fetch the kids from classes, ask him to babysit while you run some errands or follow him wherever he goes. Eventually he will stop going out so often. I hope you get what i mean.
2007-09-25 20:15:49 · answer #5 · answered by sweetheart 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him about that and if he doesn not make up his mind for good, then devorce him absolutely.
If there is one being selfishness between spouses, then there is no future of their family. To keep marriage stay longer and have happiness understanding and respect must be neccessary.
2007-09-25 20:15:08 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
TELL HIM HE CAN PAY CHILD SUPPORT, AND HELP OUT. LEAVE HIM WITH THE KID AND YOU..GO OOUT BUT IT HAS TO BE DONE STRATIGICALLY. SINCE YOU LOVE HIS DRAMA AND DON'T WANT TO DEAL WITH IT, YOU SHOULDN'T REALLY COMPLAIN. I KEEP A MAN IN LINE BY LAYING THE LAW DOWN BUT GIVING HIM FREEDOMS LIKE HANGING OUT WITH THE BOYS OR EVEN A STRIP CLUB AND NOT BERATING HIM WHEN HE DOES WELL. BUT HONESTLY. START BEING REAL INCONSIDERATE OF HIS NEEDS AND HE WILL GET IT REAL GOOD. OR TRY....... THE PSYCO- NAILPOLISH TRICK- REQUIRES YOU TO TAKE THE KID AND RUN OFF FOR TWO DAYS AFTER...PAINTING HIS NAILS RED- AND LEAVING NO NAILPOLISH REMOVER IN THE HOUSE AND NO FORWARDING ADDRESS FOR 48 HRS. !!!!!
2007-09-25 20:18:35 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
he is not going to change. you will either hasve to shut up and live with it or get rid of him. I lived with that for 15 years and tried so very hard. I am so much better off now because I don't have the stress. I know it is very hard. They sometimes never grow up and reliaze they are to be adults.
2007-09-25 20:11:33 · answer #8 · answered by Donna W 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if ur husband is acting selfish and act like single it meand now he is not taking interest in u so just leave him and be independent
2007-09-25 20:12:30 · answer #9 · answered by pamella a 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Go to marriage counseling.
If you can get hi to go, then he should go too. You'll learn how to communicate what you both want and figure out how to make it work...at least better than its been.
But if you can't get him to go, go by yourself and learn how to deal with him and his attitude.
2007-09-25 20:09:53 · answer #10 · answered by Greenman 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋