I've tried offering EVERYTHING possible to get him interested in having sex with me, but nothing interests him anymore, he just says he's not in the mood?!?! He did just get back from Iraq 5 months ago and I thought that might be the problem, but all the guys he went with are not having this problem. I even asked him if we could go to some counseling but he refuses. I know I'm not the prettiest girl out there but I know I'm not unattractive.....I'm just becoming very depressed and frustrated with this all. Does anyone have any suggestions???? Please help!
2007-09-25 18:22:32 · 12 answers · asked by sunprincess3184 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I think the problem is blend of physical and emotional. Your husband if he is sensitve and has seen the worse in Iraq then he is required sometime to get throguh and you need this time to work out on your shape. Its not being attractive or un attractive to a man its the question of how the things are taking between them. while you are working on to get best in shape, try to arouse his passion unknowingly to him that you are advancing and then touch his body specially on sensitive parts (ears/***/waist but not his organ) rub here and there and leave. Take care of him like you do and talk various things. Apply massage to his body and take a vacation. Try to wear sexy outfits but don't flaunt infront of him delibrately but with tactfully. Ice will slowly break and you can hit the blow.
2007-09-25 19:01:03 · answer #1 · answered by khulus 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would suggest you just ease up on it a little bit. He may be having a problem with being back from Iraq. It could be a variety of things.
There may be guilt. He could have some sort of traumatic reaction. It is something he doesn't want to face right now.
Give him a little room and see if things don't get better when he's had a little more time.
What you probably don't want to hear is that he may have had some sort of experience while he was away that has permanently affected his feelings for you. If that is the case you may not be able to change things back for the better.
You could attend counseling, or see your clergyman for advice. One thing, though, that I would say is that the lack of sexual interest is a symptom of something that is the problem; in itself it is not the problem. If the problem goes away his interest might return.
I was in a very similar situation with my first wife when I returned from Vietnam 36 years ago. We were never able to get the relationship back where it was before I went overseas.
I do hope you will be luckier in that respect than I was, but it may call for some acts of forgiveness on your part. I would counsel patience, and don't give up.
2007-09-26 01:39:35 · answer #2 · answered by Warren D 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Stop making it such a big issue. Get a vibrator if you are that frustrated and just tell him that when he's ready, you'll be there for him. Being in Iraq may not have affected the other guys but he is not these other guys. He may be having issues coping with what he has been through. He probably does need counseling but forcing it isn't going to do anything for anyone, and he will probably just pull away more.
The above posts do provide some insight into Men, contrary to popular belief, sometimes guys, like girls, have to be in the mood emotionally in order to have sex.
Your husband may not know why he is unable to have sex and simply not understanding why can prolong the problem.
Just love him and be there for him.
2007-09-26 01:44:29 · answer #3 · answered by Jessica O 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First,maybe we as a wife is asking or complain too much. Show him more TLC and hopefully it will bring him back...
Second,he may having an affair so it's nothing wrong with you.Man will make a lots of excuse for that including blaming his wife for that.
Third,something wrong with him maybe he has some medical problem.
Talk to him nicely. I don't know why most men don't want go to counseling so the only way is talk to him.
Hopefully the answer is not the second one.
I know how you feel. It really can make we become very depression dan frustrated.
Good luck.
2007-09-26 02:06:02 · answer #4 · answered by Honey 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I went through the same thing when my husband got back from Iraq I tryed forever to get our sex life going alright but nothing happened then I had enough I talked about getting a divorce and how unhappy I was and what I was going thorugh and it hit him that things are wrong he said most was from what he experiecne but somehow he is starting to work things our and he shaped up after he got it that I wasn't happy things aren't like they were at the start of our marriage but it's a start in the direction we need to go
2007-09-26 06:06:50 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry. There are a lot of rude people on here.
I do believe that this has to do with the war and nothing to do with you. How about if you try going to some counseling sessions on your own. Maybe the therapist can give you some advice on how to help him to realize he needs help for this.
I have heard that people really do act totally different after something like that...it's probably post traumatic disorder. Good luck to you and don't blame yourself...it's something "he" is going through.
2007-09-26 01:41:40 · answer #6 · answered by ShineOn 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Are you ugly? Do you have one of those snatches that is abusive to the eyeballs? How do you know what all of the other guys are doing? You are depressed because you aren't getting nookie? I don't get it. Can't you check out Adam and Eve website and have Mr. Dependable sit in til hubby gets a *****?
2007-09-26 02:18:41 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
sweetie its not about you this man has just come from a war. do you understand the tragedy of death and his fellow comrades dying everyday. this man probably needs to go see a professional. and talk about his feelings about being in Irag and feeling guilty because he survived and his friends or people knew didnt. it not about you in the least. GodBless
2007-09-26 01:35:18 · answer #8 · answered by Crystal G 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I broke up with my gf for same reason. When the touch is lost its lost believe me. I can watch any girl down the street and get an erection, I could watch my ex naked and nothing happens. Sorry , just move on.
2007-09-26 01:29:42 · answer #9 · answered by I Speak the Truth 5 · 1⤊ 3⤋
is he interested in having sex with someone else? may be you should try to get him another girl.
2007-09-26 01:30:03 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋